My son doesnt eat

[Louise1980]

Sorry its a long one!!
Some of you may remember "my sons a sausage" thread i posted a while back.

Ive recently altered his diet as i think chocolate and sweeds etc are contributing to his hyper activity.

I used to get him to eat what i consideed sufficient when he had chocolate or ice cream as a desert. Bribary i know but it worked.

I havnt stopped his snacks just dont have chocolate of biscuits in the house and he wont eat very much at all.

A typical day for him is
breakfast - toast or ham sandwich (he wont eat cereal anymore becasue i dont buy suger coated)
Lunch - Another ham sandwich, cheese strings, crisps.
Tea - not much beacuse i cook a meal with vegetables and he wont eat them maybe a cheese string and ham sandwich or sausages
Supper - drink of milk and cheeses string

I feel like my problem is not enough variety in his diet especially his fruit and veg. If i stick to this way will he eventually surrender and eat the f + v?
Does anyone have any suggestions?
I dont want to go bak to treating him with ice cream etc and star charts dont work.

[Louise1980]

I gave the bys both the same for tea today and ds2 ate most of his but had tried hard.

Ds1 on the other hand didnt eat much, he had about 4 beans on his plate and he wouldnt even put one in his mouth!

I would love tho see him tuck into a meal and enjoy it. I dont even want a clean plate, just a fairly good attempt.

My friends complain I dont cook but its such a waste of time if it all gets chucked out!

Sometimes i get myself really upset about it because when he was younger he was a good eater, not fruit n veg, but he enjoyed it. We've had a lot of problems over the last 3yrs and i feel like its this that has caused this.

[Lonelymum]

Any (reasonably) healthy new food must be a good thing Louise, as it shows he is open to trying new things. I think milk at night is fine: mine still have it every night and the oldest is 8! I am trying to feel pleased today as ds3, having successfully managed to avoid eating any veggies on his plate tonight, was then persuaded to eat a spoonful of swede before getting some custard for pudding. I know that should feel like an achievement but I can still remember when he used to eat the veggies first because he liked them so much.

[Louise1980]

Thanks Jill.

We arnt veggie but neither of the kids like meat so only cook things like chops and chicken breasts/portions etc for me and replace theres with sausages etc. I do buy some chicken nuggets which ate made from chicken breast, no crap so they get those often!

He just has milk for bed because thats what he asks for not necesserily because he need it. Suppose its just like me and my horlicks! I dont feel like this is a problem, it has to be better than sugary drinks dusnt it.

By the way are potato smilies good for them? After 4yrs he has finaly given in to them!! Ate five for his tea today!

[JillMLD]

Hi Louise,
My son is almost 2 and we have had ongoing problems with his food since he was 9 months. Weaing was fine but at 9 months it was like he decided he didn't like food, it was such a nightmare. I have had so many massive rows with him, shouted, cried, I even threw a plastic Noddy plate so hard in the sink it smashed. Not a good example to set. So I know how you feel.

I agree with the others about not allowing snacking, especially last thing at night. I used to panic all the time that he wouldn't sleep through if he didn't eat enough and basically gave him whatever he wanted which luckily was usually about 4 yoghurts, so quite healthy, but I know he'll sleep ok now, and I thin khe's finally learning that there is nothing more favourable to come if he doesn;t eat what I give him.

One way I have found to get him to eat different things is to take him to friends for tea and he sometimes, maybe half the time, will eat what they are having. So far he has got onto broccoli, carrots and pasta by this method. Getting onto past was a major success cos its so easy and I can disguise loads in there. Another thing is he likes baked beans and will basically eat anything with beans. Peas and omelette and beans go down well. Did I read on one f your threads you don't cook meat ? Are you veggie ? I am too, so I don;t cook meat but with eggs and cheese and beans there is plenty of protein. Does he like chips ? Could you do potato wedges in some oil in the oven, they will taste vaguely like ships and if you call them chips he might go for it. You could even pretend to tip them out of an oven chip bag (I said I had all the tricks). I even tried hiding sandwiches and apple and raisins in one of those foldy up cardboard snack boxes that you get in cafes, he had eaten exactly the same from it at the weekend when we are out, But it didn't work

One bizarre thing he loves is curry. Weird if you ask me but hey who am I to argue.

A final word. My cousin who is now 18 ate compete rubbish her whole life and is still mega fussy. For years for lunch and tea she would only eat chicken nuggets, chips, chicken, peas, carrots, and pizza so long as it had only cheese and tomato. Oh and super noodles. Even at my wedding 2 years ( she was 16) I got her a childs meal cos I refused to fork out for a posh mean that would be wasted. Anyway the point is she is fine. Perfectly healthy. I always told myself even if my son is as fussy as she is while it will be a pain for the next 16 years , he will be fine.

Jill

[LIZS]

Agree with Lonelymum, you need to be tougher about the snacking/sandwiches as a replacement for a proper meal. He is old enough to understand the consequences of not eating what is offered and he really won't starve. You don't need to to change his diet radically to begin with, just supplement one of his favourites with something he has to try, preferably that everyone else is eating.

He is probably also filling up on the milk - does he really need it at bedtime now (even if he ahs eaten) or could you offer it as a mid afternoon snack instead, and does he get some at school mid morning too ?

[Lonelymum]

I don't know if I am going to be a lone voice here, but I don't allow any snacking at all. I must admit I am so hardline about this, I find it hard to allow my children anything, even a special treat when out. I still try to tack treats like ice creams onto the end of meals IYSWIM. However, my children do have chocolate last thing at night if and only if they have eaten sensibly all day. They all know that and they know what they have to do to qualify for the chocolate (except for ds3 who is only 2 and still has tantrums when the chocolate is denied him - but he is learning.)

Your child will not starve if he does not eat a meal. I hate it too, but you have to be consistent and lay down clear rules which your ds is capable of understanding. The trouble I have is that ds3 refuses dinner because he knows that tea will be nice sandwiches and cake, thus he gets the nice things and doesn't eat the veggies, but that doesn't happen every time.

[Louise1980]

It worries me that if i take his meals away when he doesnt eat them he will be hungry, thats when the snacking begins, should i be stopping the 'replacement' snacking as it were and allowing the 'top-up'snacking?

Im so confused.

[Lonelymum]

Don't get me wrong Louise because I am not a great fruit fan either, but you not eating fruit might be the root of the problem. I find if I leave some fruit lying around casually (like a bowl of grapes) and I pick at them in front of my children throughout the day, usually one of them will eat some too. The more fruit you can eat in front of your ds, the more likely it will be that he will try some too. BTW, ds3 has discovered a liking for avocados. I know they are expensive, but I find he will happily eat one or even two every lunchtime if I have them.

[Louise1980]

I still dont eat fruit! Im 24 and i will only eat apples!

[Louise1980]

Lonelymum thats a great idea! Y have i never thought about that! He loves pasta and like your ds he varies to how much he eats.

[Eaney]

I have a nightmare time with my son as well. He suffers from several allergies and as a consequence we have had help from a dietician. I explained our problem on the fruit front i.e won't eat it, and she suggested dried fruit. The only fruit my son will eat now is Raisons and Sultanas, Figs in fig rolls and orange juice. She thought this was pretty good and that he will probably improve as he gets older.

I got him to eat veg by constantly putting it on his plate and insisting he eats some of it. not sure if this is a good approach as mealtimes can be a bit stressful. He now quite likes brocoli and sweetcorn.

[Louise1980]

He's not underweight. It does help a little knowing that some1 else has been through this.

I was quite concerned about the variety in his diet but as long as hes eating a balanced diet its fine? So mashed potato every day is ok?

He gets fruit at snack time at achool and he rarely eats it. He usually hides it in his pocket for the rabbit when he gets home.

I can get him to eat yoghurt covered apricots they should be good for him shouldnt they?

[Lonelymum]

Does he like pasta? I get loads of vegetables into my fussy eaters by pureeing them into a basic tomato sauce and serving them with pasta and grated cheese on top. On a bad day, ds3 eats little more than the grated cheese on top, but on a good day, he will eats a fair bit of sauce as well, and I feel smug!

[tortoiseshell]

I haven't read through the whole thread yet - I've got ds chattering in my ear, but my ds is a nightmare eater - one or two things I was told - the variety doesn't matter too much at this stage as long as it is a balanced diet - i.e. it doesn't matter if he has peas every day, they still count as vegetables.

Do you ever get him to prepare the food? That sometimes helps ds eat more, or if he is allowed to serve himself from a bowl on the table, then he is in control of what he eats. As a guideline, ds has a bowl of rice krispies and raisins for breakfast, a piece of bread , maybe with lemon curd for lunch (and some grapes if I can force them down him) and then something like pasta, peas , cheese for tea.

I do treat ds with ice cream, but only on a Sunday, and only if he's eaten enough of his first course. He is improving - he will now eat spaghetti bolognese, sausages, fish fingers which has stopped me worrying a bit, because he is at least eating some protein.

On Little Angels they suggested letting the child explore the food, without the pressure of eating it - so putting a bowl of fruit out, and just letting them be in charge, with no expectation of eating it, and they might just pop it in their mouths!

It's horrible isn't it - feels very unnatural for a child to be so fussy, ds is improving if that gives you hope - he's nearly 4, and I think he is starting to eat a bit more, but it depends a lot on whether he's growing or not - after a growth spurt when he'll eat relatively loads, he'll eat nothing for a few weeks.

Is he underweight at all? If not, then I would just try and introduce things slowly. Sorry this is so rambling - I'll look back later, when ds is in bed, because I feel like I've tried everything, so I'll try and think of some more things to suggest.

[Louise1980]

Well i will try the fruit blocks and see how they go down.

Its so hard becasue the littlest will try almost anything and eats bmost stuff. I dont have to worry about him.

[Papillon]

I think Sorbet is quite tricky to make...?? but frozen fruit blocks are simple and YUM

[Papillon]

Yes Louise

[Louise1980]

He likes the flavours but he doesnt actually like the fruit. Im the same. Its the textures I dont really like.

Ive thought about getting a juicer and making furit juice and freezind it into lollies. Any1 tried it?

Does any1 know how to make a sorbet?

[TracyK]

what about stewed apples - taht would be sweet and you could make apple fool or something - maybe a semi frdeo from the freezer then he'd think it was ice cream?
what about strawberries - does he like them?

[Louise1980]

Thanks. Hes four.
I try to give him whatever Im having as thats what ds2 will eat. Hes had some mashed potato for tea today but not much.

LIZS ive noticed that he doesnt eat if hes over hungry or tired so I try to make meals regular. I make him a packed lunch even though he finishes school at 11.30 as ive found he eats lunch better if its ready when he gets home from school.

Papillon, he hates banans but could i use another fruit instead?

Thanks again

[LIZS]

How old is he ? Could you just not buy things like crisps and cheese strings but try sliced cheddar or similar instead ? Mine love ham sandwiches too but they have to eat things like cherry tomatoes or cucumber along side. Is the timing of teatime sufficiently early - dd won't eat well if we leave it too late but we insist she eats so many spoons of each food on her plate.

Try alternatives using a familiar ingredient such a sausage with beans in a hot pot or ham and pasta bake in which you could "hide" veg and introduce a variation from which you could develop more meals ? So if he goes for the ham pasta bake, reduce ham and use chicken instead. Also don't offer an alternative at teatime - he could still have some bread with his meal, if he tries what is put in front of him.

Good luck.

[Papillon]

Oh also something my dd likes is split pea soup.. loads of vegetables can be cooked and hidden with that.

For dessert have you ever tried mashed banana with milk and abit of semolina.. nice and sweet and not full of sugar since you don´t want to go down the ice cream route.