DD ate really well as a baby then at about 1.8 she got extremely fussy and difficult about meals. I adopted the policy of giving her a plate of whatever the rest of us were having and she either ate it or didn't. No replacements, no puddings if she didn't eat. Most of the time, she didn't. I've stuck it out for TWO YEARS and things haven't improved. She always eats breakfast (2 weetabix plus raisins). Lunch is OK: sandwiches, tomato soup, crackers and fruit etc. Dinner: a nightmare. She'll eat pasta and tomato sauce with olives, pasta with pesto, fish fingers, nice veggie sausages (we don't eat meat) but only sometimes. She used to eat lots of fish and prawn dishes that dh would cook, but not now.
So what do I do now? Do I continue the eat or don't policy? If so, how do I react? I usually take the plate away but make her stay at the table until we've all eaten. I try not to make a fuss, though this routine does get frustrating, particularly as sometimes she gets really upset and whiney when she sees what's on her plate and it's not something she wants to try, which suggests to me that she's hungry but won't try it. Or, if she doesn't want to eat what the rest of us are having, do I let her have bread and butter and hope boredom kicks in? Do I continue to make her stay at the table, or let her get down and be on her own?
I thought I could cope with this as ds1 (now 5.10) was very similar and ate very little between 1.8 and 3.8, but he now eats really well and will try things. He's even started eating broccoli! But there's just no signs at all that dd (now 3.9) is improving, and we're getting really frustrated!
Any thoughts anyone on this age-old problem, anyone? Aaaargh, this is making my head hurt.
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Another impossible 3 yr old - what do I do?
ponygirl · 24/10/2004 15:39
Hi all. I only realised after I re-posted this thread that the title is a bit misleading: dd is actually 5 now.
I'm sure that she is hungry, because if dinner is one of the few meals that she likes, then she eats a huge portion, but nothing, very rarely even a try, if it's something new or something she's decided she doesn't like. I'm less anxious about quantities than about the limited variety. For instance, the only vegetable she eats is peas. I'd hope that by 5 she would have outgrown the automatic "I don't like it". 
Amelilly: I would suggest perseverance, particularly at the age your dd is now. Mind you, my advice may not be worth much - look where it's got me? 
I think the not liking mixed up foods is quite common, though, I'm sure she's grow out of it. It's not a problem we've had, though. I think children generally aren't particularly interested in food at 2, they're learning too many other interesting things, like how to torment mummy. I think there's definitely been an element of power games with all three of my children using food between the ages of pre-2 and 3.5. My boys grew out of it, but dd doesn't seem to have done. Good luck!
my mum had to take me for weekly weigh ins at the gp until I was 6. I just would not eat. I would eat poached plaice, and ketchup sandwiches with no butter. I was so underweight I had croup for a year because I didn't have the energy to fight it off.
Then I started eating. It was a combination of my best friend at school ("Why don't you eat your dinner? You've got a chocolate bar in there!") being horrified that I would leave something nice (she was a plumptious girl) and my little brother being weaned, and being a guts, and him getting a lot of praise for it.
So, it might be worth a try for you to make her stay at the table until you have all finished, and really lavish the praise on all those that eat their dinner well, especially the youngest, while completely ignoring the fact that she has a plate of food in front of her too.
Plus, has she got any friends she really admires that eat well? Could you invite them to tea and deliberately cook something they love to eat? Pump the mother for information first 
. My best friend at 6 hardly ever got to eat at home, she was always being hijacked by my mother!
Hth, I haven't got a picky eater, but I remember being one.
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