Wayne and Coleen Rooney

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

How do philanderers talk to their sons about relationships? How do the spouses of those philanderers talk to their children about accepting that behaviour? I wonder what he would think if his sons treat their wives or partners the way he's treated their mum? Seems like very shaky moral ground to be teaching kids right from wrong when you clearly don't know how to conduct yourself in a marriage. What's going on there?

[AnguaResurgam]

Do you have a link? It's not clear why you single out this particular couple

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

@AnguaResurgam

Do you have a link? It's not clear why you single out this particular couple

No link, no. WR is just an example. It could apply to many couples, but they are in the public eye and the first ones I thought of. He's well known for cheating and his wife tolerates it. I wondered really how they deal with that as the children are growing, the eldest is almost a teenager and won't be oblivious to the stories. Many other footballers can be named - John Terry springs to mind - but Rooney seems particularly prolific!

[MrsTerryPratchett]

How they talk to their sons probably doesn't matter as much as how they talk to their daughters. Clearly men who cheat with prostitutes don't see women as fully human. And I wonder how that extends to their daughters.

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

@MrsTerryPratchett

How they talk to their sons probably doesn't matter as much as how they talk to their daughters. Clearly men who cheat with prostitutes don't see women as fully human. And I wonder how that extends to their daughters.

Scary isn't it?

[SleepingStandingUp]

Presumably they'll do the "don't listen to the press lad, I'd never do that to your Mum" rather than "yes lad, I like to shag around and your Mum puts up with it for god knows what reason but don't do what I do eh?"

[CheeseMmmm]

Who knows how their family works.

Plus loads of children find out at some point dad/ mum, affair/s, random shagger, sometimes dad paid for sex... Etc.

Don't follow slebs but think she been home kids person? He off footballing around the world, away a lot?

Who will they listen to, have got values etc from?

Loads of Dosh, do they lead pretty separate lives? Different houses within house, iyswim?

Does he have relationship with kids where he imparts wisdom etc?

Would Colleen allow that to happen, given everything?

Is she open with kids about what he's like and why she stays?

I mean we don't know. Know only example.

Irl children if like 12 up tend to stick by one who isn't shagger, and think shagger is a shit. Even if still relationship, live as family etc.

Imo.

[SleepingStandingUp]

Who will they listen to, have got values etc from? I'm not sure her values are great either tbf

[Snoozer11]

@SleepingStandingUp I think she did a lot of caring for her sister. I certainly rate Colleen as more than a vacuous wife of a footballer.

[SleepingStandingUp]

[quote Snoozer11]@SleepingStandingUp I think she did a lot of caring for her sister. I certainly rate Colleen as more than a vacuous wife of a footballer.[/quote]
I'm not saying she's a bad woman, and by god she deserves a damn site better than him. But I can't see anything redeeming in staying in the marriage and I'm not sure those values of how she values herself are ones to pass on. I'm sure she has enough other redeeming features to raise nice kids, I just hope they have more self worth.

[CheeseMmmm]

@SleepingStandingUp

Who will they listen to, have got values etc from? I'm not sure her values are great either tbf

You don't know her.
I assume.

Who reports things about her? Sleb gossip mags, tabloids,...

I have reason to know he's a philandering piece of shit.
I mean loads photos, and so many occasions.
Public apology recently for something, on BBC even.

Her? Can't remember much. Something about arguing or kicking out maybe? Hardly surprising!

She's a mum and without solid reason to think otherwise, I'm going to assume she looks after her kids and tries to do best thing, as we pretty much all do.

IRL if I were her with all that money, assuming they share house, I'd bring dividing into two and leading separate lives as much as poss. Have kids he sees obv but keep a close eye on interactions.

And anyway he's away loads, bet they have loads of houses, cash afford plenty hols. She could keep seeing him minimal and from his attitude could well be he wouldn't mind.

I mean we don't know.

[immersivereader]

Bit odd to pick out the Rooney's IMHO.

Beckham is also a womaniser

Say what you want about Coleen, she forever has my respect in the way she handled her four boys at Manchester Airport a couple of years ago. Brilliant parenting.

[CheeseMmmm]

Loads of children have a parent/both parents who have affairs, extra marital casual sex. Men paying for sex as well.

They tend to find out one way or the other.

Children can have one/ both parents who are criminals, addicts, aggressive, get into fights, are just constantly vocally horrible about people they know or see, are racist, misogynist, homophobic, volatile.
Can have a massive range of views, experiences...

(Note not saying things bin that list are equivalent in awfulness!).

In end to OP.
We don't know anything about their family irl, how is set up, how either of them are as parents.
Him being a shagger doesn't mean he isn't affectionate, caring with kids, plays games, laughs with them etc.
Him being a shagger means nothing about her parenting.

Yes it will be in papers.
How old are they? If over about 6 they will KNOW. Comments overheard, things said by friends, seeing something on TV. News headlines. And of course the internet.

The children if not little will know.
And the parents will know they know.

So. Unless family totally dysfunctional. One or both will have discussed it with them.

Their upbringing will already mean v unusual things on table, discussed.

Two famous parents footballers and their families v often intense media and public interest. So walk past, don't react to anything, try not let crowd/ cameras bother you.
V rich, risk of various v awful things happening.
Dad away oodles of time.
Don't talk about various things to do with parents/home life even school friends.
Bodyguards sometimes?
Etc etc etc...

Realistically.

[AgathaMystery]

I’m going to make a terrible assumption & say I don’t think Wayne Rooney will give one flying fig how his children treat their partners. We only have to look how he’s treated his!

[Anordinarymum]

Mumsnetters doing it again.. talking about people they do not know. I find it distasteful to the extreme

[user1477249785]

@Anordinarymum

Mumsnetters doing it again.. talking about people they do not know. I find it distasteful to the extreme

I mean to be fair 'mumsnetters' probably know Wayne Rooney about as well as you know 'mumsnetters'. Which is to say you are basing your opinions on what you have read and behaviour you have observed...

[Anordinarymum]

Absolutely.

[CheeseMmmm]

Only mumsnetters talk about people they don't know?

Are you serious? Surely not I mean come on!

I don't like it personally and my posts show that.

The idea only mumsnetters do this is... Weird.
The implication is something to do with gossip, and... Women? Mothers? A certain type of woman? Bored housewives (as this site is often characterised as).

Interested to know!

Rather than spell out the bloody obvious to anyone who hasn't been isolated from society since birth.

You genuinely have never seen/heard/ noticed.

Any man woman or child talking (gossiping if female, discussing if male) in a speculative manner about anyone they don't know?

In fact you've never seen a headline or any content of a sleb mag or tabloid?

You've never heard on news, including mainstream BBC etc..

An item which starts 'speculation over what X did'?
Or, source has claimed that blah...?

Are you sure it's ONLY MN this happens?

[SleepingStandingUp]

I have reason to know he's a philandering piece of shit the only judgement I've made on him is that she's stayed with him regardless and had enough of a relationship to have lots of kids. Which doesn't speak massively for how she values herself IMO and isn't a great example of self care IMO or teaching kids to respect those you love IMO. I haven't once said u think she's horrible or a bad mother, I've said in sure she's raising nice kids. But those kids will grow up with Google and school yard jokes about how their father screwed around constantly "behind" his mother's back for the world to see. Even if she was my sister or my best friend in the world, if question her values on remaining in the marriage.

[NiceTwin]

Do parents have that sort of chat with their children?I

My mother stayed with my father after numerous affairs and he was still using prostitutes 2 years ago, he may still be doing now, at the grand age of 80, it's not something I ask.

The upshot of this is 2 out of his 3 girl's have ended up with thoroughly decent men, very far removed the way their father is. They are both strong women who have and still would walk away from being treated shoddily. They would definitely not do as their mother has done.

[HeyGirlHeyBoy]

But it's different as it's boys they have..

I understand Colleen stays put of religious faith/belief that marriage is for life and perhaos love. She'd have the money regardless. So the boys are likely neing brought uo as practising Catholics also. How tbey will behave in adukt relationships, we don't know. I like her and think she deserves a lot better. Didn't see the Manchester airport clip.

[PearPickingPorky]

What is this Mancheater Airport clip?

I wonder what he would think if his sons treat their wives or partners the way he's treated their mum?

I honestly don't think he'd think anything. I think he thinks men can do what they like and they owe no respect to their wives or girlfriends.

[CheeseMmmm]

'Do parents have that sort of chat with their children?I'

Realistically in this family, yes.

In this case, they will hear/know one way or another prob from quite young.

And there's a lot.

They will ask/ come home upset/ mum why were the reporters shouting that etc etc.

To not talk about it would in this case be to refuse to acknowledge any of it. Deny it. In the face of all that stuff everywhere.

Which would be a farce. And impact on children that couldn't even trust mum. Huge emotional fuckup.

Who knows how they organise their lives.

This is ALL speculation.

And in most comments, speculation coming from a start point of assumptions about a mother of three I think it was. For no reason other than H is a shagger and so she must be doing a shit job. Have poor values, not do self care (whatever that is), etc etc

[CheeseMmmm]

These children I'm guessing will also have homes with some kind of safe room, be aware of risks to them due to wealth of parents, have been told about media scrum what to do etc etc.

Stuff like that. Who knows.
None of us, I'm guessing.

[Anordinarymum]

@CheeseMmmm

Only mumsnetters talk about people they don't know?

Are you serious? Surely not I mean come on!

I don't like it personally and my posts show that.

The idea only mumsnetters do this is... Weird.
The implication is something to do with gossip, and... Women? Mothers? A certain type of woman? Bored housewives (as this site is often characterised as).

Interested to know!

Rather than spell out the bloody obvious to anyone who hasn't been isolated from society since birth.

You genuinely have never seen/heard/ noticed.

Any man woman or child talking (gossiping if female, discussing if male) in a speculative manner about anyone they don't know?

In fact you've never seen a headline or any content of a sleb mag or tabloid?

You've never heard on news, including mainstream BBC etc..

An item which starts 'speculation over what X did'?
Or, source has claimed that blah...?

Are you sure it's ONLY MN this happens?

Where did I say this only happens on Mumsnet? Where?

But this happens to be a forum called ' Mumsnet' where I contribute and see other posters helping each other with kind and friendly advice when something awful has happened and then I see the very same slagging off persons they do not know !

I know it happens, but on 'Mumsnet' its 'Mumsnetters' who should know better that join in.. or are you thick ??

I wonder if asking a fellow 'mumsnetter' if they are thick will incur a ban

[MarieIVanArkleStinks]

I suppose a more interesting question is whether people in the public eye somehow owe it to 'society' to model squeaky clean moral values, or somehow to justify themselves to the raised eyebrow of the scrutinising public.

This is people's personal, family lives. There's an argument that in certain areas of private behaviour they can do as they like, so long as this is within legal reason. In fuzzy areas surrounding legal reason - questions raised around the issue of consent, the 'oldest profession', etc - then as far as their own professions are concerned, there's then the matter of bringing these into disrepute, for which they can be fired.

The track record and reputation of football would, of course, make them hypocritical for doing any such thing. It's this culture I think is worthy of a far greater spotlight than the actions of one individual.

As for his wife, she's under no obligation to justify to anyone her decision to stay with a cheat. That's entirely her own, private decision, and it's her lookout. Likewise Elizabeth Windsor, about whose husband and children you might well have asked the same questions. At least three out of the four of them seem at some stage to have followed in Da's footsteps. But of course, people rarely do, and the behaviour of establishment figures is rarely called into question in the same way as well-known people who are not from those backgrounds. And in more recent years, we've seen the kind of situations to which this can lead.

Those kinds of questions matter much more than individual families' set-ups which are really no one else's business.