I may regret posting this but I’m at my wit’s end and could really do with some support.
When I was in month 6/7 of my pregnancy, I started being bombarded by intrusive thoughts that there was something/someone “bad” in my baby. The thoughts plagued me day and night and stopped me from sleeping. I stopped being able to function at work due to the sleep deprivation and, as time went on, and I can only attribute this to the severe lack of sleep, I started finding myself questioning reality and whether these insane thoughts could
really be true. While I thought for a while that I’d experienced psychosis, I’m told I just have severe OCD.
My baby was born 11 weeks ago and to say this has had a devastating impact on our time together so far would be an understatement. I feel anxious a lot of the time when I’m with my son and did not feel connected or “in love” with him when he was born. In fact I was hugely anxious to even be in the same
room with him. I struggle with this every day and feel like the worst mum on the planet, with this terrible secret. I haven’t slept anything approaching a good night’s sleep in months due to the stress.
I’m not sure what I’m hoping for here but maybe someone somewhere out there has experienced something remotely similar and has some advice. I’m on medication and have had some therapy but it wasn’t helpful as my symptoms were so severe. I think about this all day every day and am scared I’ll never get better and that suicide is the only way out.
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Mental health
Intrusive thoughts about baby ruining my life
ocdmum24 · 13/03/2024 19:12
ocdmum24 · 24/03/2024 16:26
Hello all, I’ve got a really difficult decision to make. I reached the point of despair with having to wait so long for treatment and I enquired about the possibility of going into a mother and baby unit, in the hopes that I could go for a couple of weeks and get some intensive therapy to help me move out of this hell. They’ve found a place for me and I need to let them know whether I’ll take it but I’m really not sure. I’m told I’ll only get to see a psychologist once a week if I go and that while they offer bonding support, I’m imagining this to mostly consist of things like baby massage etc which aren’t really going to cut it here. Does anyone who’s been in an MBU have a sense of whether this could be a good place for me, given my difficulties, or am I better off staying out in the community?
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