Half term's made me feel so awful

[Emily3030]

Has anyone else had this feeling? My DD, 6, is having a pretty rubbish half term and I feel so guilty. She has lots of friends at school but none where we live. They have all been busy so we couldn't meet up with any. My DD is so disappointed it's painful. I am single and she has no siblings which is another thing I feel so guilty about. I play with her a lot but there comes a time when I have to stop and do some chores and she just looks so bored and lonely. Reading this back it sounds so trivial but I haven't been able to stop crying all evening about it. It's only the third day of half term I'm dreading the summer holidays. Everyone else seems so happy and busy, I have no money so can't do that much with her. Anyone got any ideas?

[Emily3030]

Thanks Amazinwoman, that's so lovely!

Thank you Marina, we've done the sand pit in St James a few times, will definitely give the others a go some time.

Dinny it's a place near Oxted beginning with L! Are you actually in Oxted? PM=Private Message. On the other forums I visit it's a completely different set up from here, you can send anyone a private message on the forum, like email.

[marina]

Ping Me...CAT?
Emily, you've had loads of good advice on this forum, but as you seem to do London as part of your travels together, can I also recommend other free museums - the V & A for the costumes, the Museum of London, Sir John Soane's Museum.
Also free in London is the Coram's Fields play area in Bloomsbury/Holborn, a nice little playground with sandpit in the SW corner of St James Park, and strolling along the South Bank...which brings me on to galleries - Tate Britain has some smashing themed trail leaflets for you to discover together, Tate Modern is a good space for children to explore, and the National Gallery is very child-friendly these days
You can also have a great time seeing the sights from the upper deck of a bus...you don't have to go on one of the costly tours
And for summer, make a note of the courtyard at Somerset House, where there are timed fountains that lots of children enjoy playing in. Bring a towel and a costume and she will have a ball, it is brilliant fun

[dinny]

what is a PM function then?

LP... can't work it out, I know a school with just L as its initial....

[Dalex]

Mrs Ruffalo, No rudeness in my message or certainly non intended. I was complimenting other mothers.

[AMAZINWOMAN]

Hi Emily 3030, your daughter has made loads of friends at school, so you're doing something right! She obviously feels loved and valued by you, and due to you, she has made friends in school.

[Emily3030]

Hi Dinny! It's a bit scary when you think you might actually know someone on here isn't it??!! Is there a PM function on this forum? I can't seem to see one. (LP)

Dalex I know how you feel, I've been run down with a cold and PMT to boot and it all reached a peak when I started this thread. The guilt trip was incredible! I seriously felt like the worst mum in the world, like I'd really let her down. But it doesn't seem so bad now, we've had a lot of fun together and I think it's important to remember that children get just as much pleasure from free things (like Luciemule's ideas) as they do from expensive outings. So Mrsruffallo, any more ideas greatly appreciated!

[mrsruffallo]

Hi em, I am a sahm and was going to give you some ideas as I am in London and we do a lot on a small budget!!
Am a bit about Dalex post tho'. Why be rude about other mothers?

[Dalex]

Hey all, I am a full-time working mother and at the end of half term, following us all having flu, I feel more knackered now that I did at the start of the hols. It is out of the frying pan into the fire. I long to be with my children when I'm at work but find it just as exhausting being at home. Glasses of wine raised to stay at home mums - you are amazing people :0

[dinny]

Emily, nooooooo way! we are v near Oxted! which school is your dd at? give us initials!

[luciemule]

Emily - thank you for being so nice but I don't feel like a great mum much of the time.

I often think other people sound like they have good ideas but I'm sure you have some great ideas.

It's just harder when you're on your own - my DH in the forces so has been away a bit over the last few years - everything seems so much harder then and you don't feel as though the children give you a break.

Your DD will not think badly of you for having some time to yourself. My DD (6) now loves taking herself off to her bedroom to play or write her diary etc.

[dippydeedoo]

if i were u id make the most of the suggestions already offered but plan ahead for the summer holidays too-pound shops offer really good craft stuff you could get a few things and put them away,buy extra stuff when shopping we had great fun making a gingerbread house at xmas- a kit was about £15 but i made my own and we iced loads of sweets on it all in all it cost about £4,you could make some dough that you can bake in the oven and she could do that...a few years ago a neighbour was chucking out a huge tv box so we asked could we have and all the children locally ended up in my garden most of the summer playing in that box(i had to drag it in my tiny kitchen at night)....my middle son always feels a bit left out and so me and him go to jumble sales where he likes to buy stuff he can 'mess'with maybe your daughter could get some dressing up stuff?....at the moment we are making a tardis and have just got a new garage so the boys are planning to camp in there in the summer all these things are cheap.
In the past ive done stuff every day and its cost me a bomb and my children ended up tired out so this holiday we decided one trip swimming and a trip to the funfair was more than enough!

[Emily3030]

Thanks Numbersix, it's good to know others feel the same sometimes. Although I wouldn't wish it on anyone, obviously. You're right though and I'm the same, I had a brother while I grew up and we played a lot together, and his role in my early adult life was pravalent. To think that my daughter wont have that, ever, in her life makes me so sad.

We used to enjoy the History and Science museums a lot, we'd do it cheaply by taking a picnic, but we've done them to death now I think she's bored of them!! We'll probably go for a walk tomorrow and do some At Home things.

[Emily3030]

I don't post here often enough to feel part of the clan just yet! Although I'm sure I'd love to one day. It's a very fast moving forum isn't it.

I'm south, Oxted area. London's more like 40 mins away but very do-able!

[dinny]

you should meet up with some other mums from here maybe? which side of London are you?

[Emily3030]

Thanks Luciemule. I definitely had an odd day yesterday. I don't normally feel guilty or anxious but I seemed to be burdened by it yesterday. It's silly cos when I'm at work I long to be at home with her...and now I've got a week off the pressure seems immense and I don't seem to be meeting it. Although today we went swimming and I feel far better for it. We didn't have time (a good sign!) to do the other activities you suggested but they're such good ideas (what a great mum you sound!)I'm going to make sure we do them before the weeks out.

[luciemule]

Emily - glad you're feeling a bit better about half term now.

To be honest, I get quite bored most week days as I pledged to be a SAHM until both DCs are at school but it does drive me nuts sometimes when DS is at home from preschool. I know I sound ungrateful but I get around the boredom by organising a few little activities to do until DD gets home. Even half a day of doing something lifts your spirits and gets you through until bedtime on tricky days.

[Emily3030]

Wow that's cheap. I paid over £10 a while back to see that movie. Started off promising but didn't like the ending. Little one seemed to enjoy but I think the court case went over her head a bit!

I live about half an hour away from London in a very expensive area unfortunately, everything seems to cost an arm and a leg. I think we'll go swimming tomorrow. I'll check for other activities while I'm there. I love the theatre idea but can't find anything affordable round here.

Thank you so much for all your suggestions and kind words, it's amazing how much it helps.

[handlemecarefully]

That's true - you need to look at UCI cinema's "Kids club" to see what's on. Usually adults are free at Kids club. They tend to feature not the most newly released films but perhaps films that have just been published on dvd

[snowbird]

Have a look at your local cinemas. I took my two to see 'Bee Movie' and it only cost £3 for us all. Also our local swimming pool has free sessions during the school hols, so worth a try there.

[pinkteddy]

What about your local leisure centre they usually do things like organised gym, trampolining or soft play sessions in the holidays for little ones. Give them a ring and check. If nothing on or all booked, you can always take her for a swim!

[handlemecarefully]

She is blessed to have a caring mummy like you

[Emily3030]

Thanks Handlemecarefully, that's a great idea. I'm going to do a search and see what's on locally. And you're right, it wont kill her, it just makes me feel like shit to see her feeling lonely, which I know she does sometimes. She's certainly loved alright, she's smothered in it!

[Emily3030]

As for the church idea I'd never really considered it as I'm not remotely religious. I think I'd feel like a big fat hypocrite standing in Gods grand house! It's not a bad idea though...

[handlemecarefully]

I see you are on a budget but children's theatre isn't always that pricey. We have been to Salisbury Playhouse to see the Town Mouse and the Country Mouse - it was only £5 per person, so a tenner for you and your daughter. Would that be in budget? Do an internet search of your local theatres - you might be surprised. At the Nuffield in Southampton they are offering similar events for £5, so I don't think this is unusual.

The other thing - at the end of the day a bit of boredom won't kill a child. The single most important thing is to feel unconditionally loved and cared for by their parent(s). I am sure you dd feels this