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Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Mental health

Help! DS (12) has just taken overdose!

209 replies

BoffinMum · 26/03/2014 17:49

I am just leaving London to go home. DS2 just rang me to say he had taken an overdose. AP has managed to get into the bathroom and is sitting with him, I have phoned ambulance etc. Currently on train not knowing what the hell is happening, and very shaky. On my way to meet them at hospital but won't be there for over an hour.

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BoffinMum · 30/03/2014 22:13

No, it was all helpful.

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BoffinMum · 02/04/2014 09:36

It appears to be kicking off again - he now seems to be in major trouble at school for swearing, singing rude songs and calling up porn images on the school computers, and I have just had a complete earful from his Head of Year who has also told me off. Self destruct doesn't even begin to describe what he seems to be doing here. He'll be kicked out of school by the end of term at this rate. He is currently at home too wobbly to go in, and school is being threatening and saying they will put it down as an unauthorised absence unless I force him and bring him in myself. I have said that I have just had an operation and can't drive (it's 30 miles away) and if I put him on a train he might top himself, so obviously this is a major problem.

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apermanentheadache · 02/04/2014 11:08

:( Sod the school. Ignore them. They sound like they are being extremely unhelpful. I would be furious to be given an earful about what are clearly manifestations of an illness. Concentrate on your son and getting yourself better. When you are feeling up to it it might be helpful to give the Education Welfare Officer at your local LA a call to ask for their assistance, if the school is not actively helping you.

BoffinMum · 02/04/2014 11:11

He just went up to the railway line and threatened to kill himself. I have got him back in the house. DH is coming home. I have asked the Psychiatrist to ring me.

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BoffinMum · 02/04/2014 11:11

EWO are useless in this area, they never once returned a call of mine so I have given up.

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mistlethrush · 02/04/2014 11:15

I hope that you can get someone to help Boff

BoffinMum · 02/04/2014 11:22

It's a fucking nightmare.
I wish I had normal children.

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bigTillyMint · 02/04/2014 11:37

Is it possible for you to ask CAMHS to write formally to the school to explain the situation? So sorry to hear the school is not being supportive

BoffinMum · 02/04/2014 11:42

I think the Head of Year and one of the Assistant Heads are a bit unsympathetic about MH issues. Other people have been very kind.

I am going to ask the psychiatrist to ring them and also send a follow up letter.

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bigTillyMint · 02/04/2014 12:44

Yes, definitely do that Boffin - it is crucial that they all work together with you and CAMHS to support your DS. Very sad that they are more bothered about attendance figures than his MH.

TheOriginalNutcracker · 02/04/2014 12:51

Hi Boffin, just wanted to say to ignore anything school say about unauthorised absence etc. CAMHS can sort all of that out, and if school contact you again, you can give them the name and number of your ds's camhs worked and refuse to discuss anything else.

My dd2 is 14 and has taken 2 overdoses and self harms. it is such a rollercoaster and in my experience, just when I think we are getting somewhere dd goes downhill again.

Dd also takes fluoxetine, but it doesn't seem to have done much.

dd didn't find camhs much help th, but has just started DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy) and this has helped a lot.

I hope your ds gets the help he needs xx

BoffinMum · 02/04/2014 13:10

DH is now home and is going to go into school tomorrow, I think.
DS has settled down a bit and dome some homework.

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MrsDeVere · 02/04/2014 16:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 02/04/2014 18:15

WTF? They sound awful. I think I'd be swearing if I were in his shoes (not to mention yours).

Selks · 02/04/2014 21:20

Did you get to speak to the psychiatrist? If not and you are in any way concerned that your DS may attempt to harm himself again tonight then take him straight to A&E

BoffinMum · 02/04/2014 21:46

Child and Family Psychotherapist rang from clinic. We are trying to see people at school tomorrow and the Psychotherapist has offered to drop everything and come too, but the Head of Year is saying they are too busy. DH just can't go on Friday. It's all difficult.

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bigTillyMint · 03/04/2014 07:02

They are too busy??? WTAF! Go to the HT or DH and get them to arrange someone to do the meeting. It sounds like the HoY is awful.

Donki · 03/04/2014 09:47

Thinking of you and your DS, Boffinmum.

The lack of understanding and support from his school is horrendous.

BoffinMum · 03/04/2014 10:23

We have a 20 minute apt with HoY later today.
I think the HoY and the Asst Head egging them on both have, shall we say, and MH training need.

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apermanentheadache · 03/04/2014 11:33

I would say they have got some training needs. It may be worth pointing out to the school that your child is likely to have a disability under the Equality Act 2010 and that they have duties in respect of that Act (More info on the EHCR website ). That'll make 'em sit up and take notice - here is an extract:

"Excluding a disabled pupil for behaviour which arises as a consequence of their disability is likely to result in unlawful disability discrimination unless you can show that the exclusion was a proportionate means of achieving a legitimate aim.

For example:

A pupil with ADHD is excluded for his behaviour including refusing to sit at his desk, distracting other pupils by talking and running around during classes. The pupil has been cautioned previously and the school does not see any other option than to exclude him. This is likely to be unlawful discrimination as he was excluded for behaviour which is related to his disability. It is unlikely to be a proportionate means of achieving a legitimate aim as no other efforts were made to support the pupil to manage his behaviour.

In addition you have a duty to disabled pupils to make reasonable adjustments to your procedures if needed. This might include:*

disregarding behaviour which is a direct consequence of their disability
making reasonable adjustments to manage such behaviour
considering alternative, more appropriate punishments, and
ensuring that a disabled pupil is able to present their case fully where their disability might hinder this."

BoffinMum · 03/04/2014 11:45

I have had conversations like that with the Asst Head in the past, but to be honest he never really 'gets' SEN or disability. As he is a PE teacher I made the analogy once of penalising a one legged kid for not being able to achieve the same speeds running around the athletics track as his two legged classmates, but IMVHO this guy is a bit slow on the uptake and simply can't comprehend SEN in anything like the way you would expect him to. I am sure he thinks it is bad parenting and an attitude problem on the part of the children.

CAMHS are sending a representative down to the meeting later, which I think will be very helpful.

Interestingly I happened to encounter the Asst Head's children recently and, shall we say, their behaviour did not reflect well on him as a parent.

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apermanentheadache · 03/04/2014 12:14

Oh dear. What a shower. Honestly. If no joy from the meeting today, can you ask CAMHS to take it up with the actual Head (where is s/he?!) and the school Governing Body. These people are likely to be appraised (or at least interested in demonstrating compliance with) the law and will be afraid that they could be subject to legal action if they don't fulfill their obligations under statute.

But really, you don't want to have to be doing all this with them do you, right now? It's not like you've not got enough on your plate! Maybe you can take some comfort in the knowledge that they can't realistically exclude your son because they would likely be infringing the law.

apermanentheadache · 03/04/2014 12:15

And I would think a mention of the actual Act and the possibility of bringing a case against the school if they don't step up might make ears prick up. Or it bloody should do.

KateF · 03/04/2014 12:32

Hi BoffinMum, so sorry you and ds are going through this. Just popping on to say that getting CAMHS into school is the best thing you can do. I have a 14 year old dd with severe depression and anxiety. I was getting a huge amount of pressure from school until dds mental health nurse came in to a meeting with me, insisted on seeing the Assistant Head and very nicely but firmly told them to back off.

My dd has LEA tutoring at home and the school are not particularly helpful re work but at least the threats have stopped.

BoffinMum · 03/04/2014 12:39

i have juts told DH all this. I am trying to decide whether or not to trek into school but I am feeling pretty fragile after the operation so it would take a toll. Maybe DH will have to go by himself.

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