Duloxetine

[Messupmum]

This is my fifth ad I'm trying. Just wondering if anyone has experience of this, I've not really heard of it before. Been referred to crisis team and maybe day hospital but I'm unsure, I've felt like this before, it's embarrassing being back in this place.

[SilverStars]

Do not worry about being too confused, if you have words use them. It does not matter what you say or cannot say, just start.

There can be a difference from feeling suicidal to acting on suicide. I am not saying they are not linked though. For eg for me I often felt suicidal but eventually worked out that most of the time it meant my head was thinking that to keep safe and once I learnt I could keep myself safe then those thoughts went and the professionals knew I had been like that many times and did not act on them so they did not worry other agencies. I am not saying this is like this for everyone though. Some people do act on thoughts and it is hard for professionals to manage people. If you tell them you are suicidal what are you wanting from them.


Try not to worry about being discharged from a CMHT. Professional help can come in a number of ways and it does not mean you are not receiving help in the future . You may not be discharged. You may be referred to a different team, such as a personality disorders team instead or a complex care team or whatever there is in your area.

The care plan is for now and professionals are following it. That is why you have the day hospital and crisis team.


You do not have to worry about discharge. If you focus on that you cannot always focus on recovery. I used to feel i always had to be really bad to get help but in fact because of that I never got talking help because they said I was not well enough. A few years down the road and I at last got my 10 sessions of talking treatment as I was able to use it!! Strange systems some have.

No need to worry about SS. The only time they would definitely become involved would be if you ended your own life as you dc would need help etc. Sometimes they are contacted if someone has a failed suicide attempt. They are always involved when someone is inpatient even if it is just a referral they do not act on. But they are there to check your dc are ok and if a parent is too ill to look after their dc they can provide extra support until they are no longer needed. Really.

[Messupmum]

What if I'm too confused to express myself?
What if I haven't got across how suicidal I feel?
What if I feel everything is a waste of time?
What if I see no point in a care plan etc if I'm going to be discharged from cmht soon?
What if I'm too scared of ss to be honest?

[SilverStars]

Hi, I totally get the feeling numb and apparently emotionless. For me I think because emotions can be such a roller coaster ride it is almost as if my body needs to just rest, pause, stop. It can be a weird phase for me.

Definitely keep talking to them. That is their job. Do not worry about what they say. Why not tell them you are struggling and would benefit from some advice to keep safe over th weekend. They may suggest visiting you ( crisis), more regular short calls if that helps, some prn medication, suggesting you stay with family if that is helpful - or you can talk about what would help you the most.

You have got through this before and you can do again.

Are you well enough to distract with nice things ( craft, tv, book etc?) or able to say to yourself if I get through the weekend I will treat myself to ( whatever)? Just some strategies I have used myself.

Sending you a hug x ( sorry ignore if you do not like hugs!! I do not like real just Internet ones and I know not a MN thing but hey !!)

[IsobelEliza]

You must tell them how you feel. These people went into this profession to try to help people. They want to make things better for you but they can only do that with as much honesty from you as you can manage. You should be being selfish about things at the moment. It's the only way to get better to find things that help you feel more comfortable and reduce your anxiety. As others have said you can get through this.

[Messupmum]

Sorry, I've tried to stay away a bit as finding some threads very triggering. But it's got to that point now, where I've been before, when I've been fighting urges for too long, finding everything triggering and in my own selfish world where I have no feelings, just detachment from reality.

I'm still under crisis/day hospital but finding it hard to open up, as I feel they've heard it from me before. I feel like a fraud when I'm trying to explain things, or I'm so numb and emotionless I seem fine on the outside, which makes me feel I'll be seem as attention seeking.

However, I have it in my head I want/need to do something this wkend. In a way I feel sad about it, but feel it's the right thing to do. But I don't know what to say? If they tell me to keep safe etc, I don't know if I can, but I feel stupid saying that. Do I just risk saying nothing, or being honest or just saying what I think they want to hear?! I'm so confused.

[IsobelEliza]

OP I hope you've had some progress with work and you're getting some relief from the confusing thoughts. It sounds to me that you think so much of your daughter that others will see that and recognise that you are doing it right for her. Keep doing the right things. You can get past this to better times and all your struggles are progress towards that. You are taking steps in the direction out of this. Keep getting help and insist on help when you need it. Thinking of you.

[SilverStars]

Hi, yes work can be tricky. But no matter what your situation if it is a paid job then a gp note can allow you to not attend work until the gp decides you are well enough. When I was pregnant My gp wrote me a fit note to reduce my hours at work and to restrict some of my duties due to complications with the pregnancy - I submitted the form and had a meeting with my manager who had to facilitate the request due to the gp note. They did it ok when I met them face to face and we came to an agreement that suited work well and met the medical requests.

Hope it goes ok for you. Hope panicky thoughts abate - they can be horrid.

[Messupmum]

Thank you silver it's more complicated than that but I'm worried about being recognised on here. Had no reply so obviously thinking the worse.

I tried hard today, tried to keep busy, but tonight I've dipped and been writing stuff down, notes etc. Getting paranoid and panicky, that people are going to take me away and take dd away.

[SilverStars]

Hi you can self certificate off work for one working week and after that you can ask your go to sign you off work. Or ask for a fit note which may give you a phased return, which is helpful if off for more than a month or if a reduced return is helpful.

Work are used to receiving sick notes and the information on there is confidential so if the dr says you need time off work to attend a day hospital there should be no issue.

[Messupmum]

I've just had to let my boss know I need a short time off work. I was honest but didn't give too much away, just enough to explain things a bit. I'm terrified of what the response will be.

[IsobelEliza]

Good that you are going to day hospital. If you're feeling shaky I think get some help. You aren't putting anyone out. It's their vocation and their job. We pay as a society for these services and you deserve them.

[Messupmum]

I'm going to stay at my cousins or brothers for a bit for support. I don't think the proffessionals believe me, I'm fine compared to other patients.

[Messupmum]

I'm really confused about how I'm feeling. I think I'm ok and don't need the support, but I feel exhausted, shaky, and scared. I suppose I'm not functioning or thinking like I usually do. It's so hard to tell.

Going to day hospital so will find out what the plan is, if there is one.

[IsobelEliza]

Hi OP. Hope you got some sleep. If you're thinking about bad stuff then the crisis team would definitely want you to call and I would be very cross if they weren't there demanding to help you. That's what they are there for. Ring them this morning and ask for a visit. You deserve looking after. You are owed it.

[SilverStars]

That is a shame. Did they not have a planned visit? Could you get your usual MH worker on Monday to make an appointment with crisis for you? Do you still have the day hospital each day right no? If so can you ask a worker there to contact the crisis team for you whilst you are still under them, to reduce the stress for you.

[Messupmum]

I couldn't see them, I said I'd call them but just can't bring myself to do it. Too scared of not knowing who will pick up the phone. They might not want me to call for no reason.

I'm ok, just can't stop thinking about bad stuff.

[IsobelEliza]

Hope the crisis team visit helped. How are this Sunday evening. Do you feel any better. Still here and listening.

[HellsGranny]

I'm sure the crisis team visit will be helpful even if you feel like you have nothing to say.

[Messupmum]

Kept waking up all through the night, feel really shaky. Meant to be having a visit from crisis team this morning but I don't have anything to say to them.

[IsobelEliza]

Just posting to let you know I'm still here hoping to help. If you want to post there are people here listening and wanting to talk.

[fluffydressinggown]

If they need to they can put you on daily/weekly prescriptions to reduce the risk/temptation of OD. I get my medication on two weekly prescriptions which helps. I only mention it because I think that being on anti-psychotics has helped me to turn a corner a bit especially in terms of my self harm feelings.

Your CPN situation is ridiculous - why are they not giving you one and sticking with it, you need to build that relationship.

[SilverStars]

Hope being at day hospital helped. Can you find out when can review your medication and ask about the other option they had? Good that they are trying to find out the best combination for you. And keep phoning the crisis team, some staff are useless but worth phoning back after a shift change to talk to another one as they may be more useful!! That is what I used to do!!

[HellsGranny]

It's fine Messed, I just wanted to know you were still hanging in there.

It's up to you what you post honestly.

[Messupmum]

God sorry reading back what I posted, it sounded so bad. It came across wrong, I meant I was going to do something but it was fighting it, just upset they couldn't do anything, even stay on the phone for 5 mins.

My heads all jumbled up so maybe I should stop posting for a bit until I can make more sense.

[Messupmum]

Sorry, I had to get up and go straight to day hospital. I feel so ill and tired. My mouth is so dry.