Moving forward day by day [crisis team part two ]

[bassetfeet]

Hi Fluffy just calling in to wish you a lovely peaceful sleep x

[TheSilveryPussycat]

I lost touch with this thread and have just rediscovered it.

I am so glad things have turned out well for you fluffy, sending hugs and warm wishes.

[TheSilveryPussycat]

I lost touch with this thread and have just rediscovered it.

I am so glad things have turned out well for you fluffy, sending hugs and warm wishes.

[TheSilveryPussycat]

I lost touch with this thread and have just rediscovered it.

I am so glad things have turned out well for you fluffy, sending hugs and warm wishes.

[mypip]

well done fluffy!

[Sijeunessesavait]

Hqppy Birthday fluffy, and thank you for this cheerful update. I think of you often and am so pleased to know that life is better for you now. Celebrate your achievements today as well as the new decade!

[SnowyMouse]

Good to hear from you fluffy! Happy birthday!

Well done on work, and for sticking with the DBT.

[fluffydressinggown]

I have not posted on this thread in ages.

I am 30 today and still here and doing well. Work is going fine but my confidence is still lacking so I am working on it. My holiday was really lovely, a much needed break.

I am hating DBT at the moment, but trying to work through that and stick it out.

[mypip]

So pleased you are on your uppers; enjoy your holiday fluffy.

[fluffydressinggown]

I am so glad it is Friday :)

I had some psychotic thoughts in DBT this week which was frustrating. I talked to one of the course leaders about it and we agreed it is because my life has been stressful this week and when I am stressed my thinking goes a bit squiffy. That said, today has been fine and I am not so bothered about things as I was in DBT yesterday so that is a positive :)

I am going on holiday in a week and a bit and I am very excited, I have got some diazepam for the plane which is a relief because I do not like flying! I am also looking at going to Gran Canaria next May with my Mum :)

My DH says that since I have started work I seem better to him, more confident. I still have wobbles but I am trying my hardest and it seems to be going well.

[SnowyMouse]

Well done, fluffy Good luck with the meds change, everyone knows they can be hard to do.

[fluffydressinggown]

It was ok, I found the interview a bit overwhelming but my CPN said I did well.

Saw the psychiatrist and I am going to start on aripriprazole when I come back from my holiday in July. V.scared about changing meds but it has to be done.

[Sijeunessesavait]

Hope today went OK fluffy
x

[fluffydressinggown]

I have an interview with ATOS tomorrow about claiming PIP, my CPN is coming with me but I am still really nervous.

I have started seeing things in the corner of my eyes which is a bit frustrating.

I am also seeing the psychiatrist tomorrow about changing my anti-psychotic which is a bit scary because I feel stable on risperidone but I need to change it so I will have to suck it up.

[mypip]

gosh you did well fluffy; glad you are getting some relief and recovery too.
So pleased for you.

[fluffydressinggown]

Thank you :) I had a massive sleep in this morning and I am enjoying having a lazy day at home.

[SnowyMouse]

Good for you, fluffy!

[Sijeunessesavait]

Hope you will enjoy the long weekend!

[fluffydressinggown]

Well I survived my first week. I am so tired but proud that I managed it. I have not had any strange thoughts or felt like self harming so that is positive. I have missed seeing my DBT 1:1 worker though, I still need that extra support I think.

I also have an appointment to get assessed for PIP which is a bit scary.

[Sijeunessesavait]

Congratulations, fluffy
Try to focus on the present rather than worrying about the future. By the time next week comes along you will have much more experience of what you need to do. I hope the new environment is a happy one for you x

[fluffydressinggown]

I started my new job today and it went ok (I think) I am just training this week so it is pretty easy going, scared for the next week when I am actually doing the job.

[fluffydressinggown]

I am still stressing :( My DH has essays for university to do and I feel loads of pressure (from myself) to help him to make them perfect :(

My DH is being really nice and not asking for help but I feel like I should be able to help him.

I saw my CPN and my DBT 1:1 today and talked about the stuff I have been stressing over, but I don't feel better for it :(

Ughhh.

[Wipedoutmammy]

Hi fluffy and everyone else

I have read your whole thread about your journey with your mh issues this afternoon. I've been si for years and over the last year have had various suicide attempts. I want to say your journey has given me hope that I may just come out the other end of this nightmare. Thank you :) xx

[madeuplovesong44]

Your last post makes so much sense. You are bound to feel overwhelmed at the prospect of going back to work. I can remember the feelings so well. I too had spent a long time in hospital and a long time away from work and i was terrified. For me, i was so used to 'being ill' and i relied on the fact i had no expectations or responsibilities. I couldn't feel like a failure as i had nothing to fail at.

You have come such a long way though and you deserve to feel the benefits that employment brings. Can you maybe make a list of the positives that may come from the job and try to focus on that e.g. Wages, routine, feeling valuable and needed, meeting new people etc And what about putting a safeguard in your head, like ' i will give it two weeks and if it is too much or i hate it i will just walk away and nothing is lost.' I was so terrified at what might happen, that i couldn't cope ans would become suicidal again. Once i changed my thinking to i will just give it a go and i can leave if i want to, it felt safer.

I was scared that the support i had relied so heavily on would be withdrawn as going back to work meant i was better. That hasn't been the case at all as my cpn recognizes the ongoing stress of work means i need continued support. I imagine your team will still be there for you too.

Good luck though fluffy. You are amazingly courageous and deserve this opportunity. I will look forward to seeing how you get on. X

[dontrunwithscissors]

I can really understand the fear of fetting better. I'm told it is quite common. I think it's fear of the unknown--that you don't know whether you will stay well. I had got so used to being unwell. It's the constant uncertainly of whether it will be taken off me (looking over my shoulder for another episode). For a while, the fear of being struck down again robbed me of actually enjoying being well. If you're unwell, you're unwell. There's nothing to lose.

Sorry that's a bit rambling! I think just taking things a day at a time is the way forward.

[SnowyMouse]

Hi fluffy Well done on not buying blades, that must have been very hard. I think it's normal to have such thoughts when you're going through big changes, and a job is a big change.