Before starting a family, I was diagnosed with severe depression and I was taking anti-Ds. I stopped taking them when I was pregnant and I was fine, I think the baby had sort of lifted the depression. Me and dh had some issues during the pregnancy, relating to him shagging an ex and flirting/sharing a tent (and I reckon, though have no evidence, that they got up to more) with an old fling. he also lied to me when dd was about 2 weeks, telling me he had to stay late at work for a meeting but really meeting with old fling. Anyway after being really angry etc, I decided to try and move on because I hoped that we could make it work for the baby. The whole thing set me back mentally though, dd is 2 now and while I don't feel angry about the cheating anymore and he hasn't done anything since, I just feel so down. I got enormously fat during the pregnant, putting on about 5 stone through comfort eating so I feel really bad about my appearance, I'm really snappy and lose my temper with dh all the time, sometimes I just feel so tired and can't be arsed with anything and I think that I feel like I used to when I had depression.
I had an awful birth experience, and dh wasn't there with me as he had passed out from the stress of it all and he hadn't slept for about 2 days. I still get upset about the birth and I hate physical contact because I don't want it to lead to sex.
I just don't really know what to do anymore, I don't want to take anti-D's because I'm not sure they were all that effective the first time, they made me feel very strange and I made even worse decisions on them. Plus I wouldn't want to become reliant on them unless I had to.
I don't want to leave dh, but the relationship just isn't that great, I want to deal with the depression first and see how we get on then, but I wonder if he is the cause of the depression.
Thanks for reading, if you have made it this far, sorry for rambling, just didn't want to drip feed.
What do I do? What would you do?
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Mental health
Is depression causing relationship issues, or is the relationship causing the depression?
6 replies
allthegoodnamesweretaken · 29/12/2012 13:08
OP posts:
Babsjansen ·
29/12/2012 13:56
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