Was doing great on Citalopram - now suffering again

[feelingcrappy]

Hi, been on Citalopram 20mg for 6 weeks - 1st 2 weeks were difficult while I adjusted then a whole month of feeling just like my old self. In the last week, though, I have felt my anxiety levels creeping up again - TERRIFIED of the depression descending again. How do I know if this is just a blip or if I need a dosage increase? Thanks in advance x

[Tomandnick1]

Please let me know setbacks are normal. Seems like it took so long to get where I am today. With side effects and all .I have been feeling good for 2 mo and then wham dont know when it occurred. Didnt feel like I did happy and glad all of this is in the past. So upset iam crying texting this . Will it get worse I want my life back. PLEASE GOD Help me. Tomandnick1

[kizzie]

Thats good - Gp sounds great

[mummmypirate]

Hello again, just thought I would update. Went to GPs this aft as I was despairing. He was great - as usual - assured me I was on the right medication at the right dosage and this episode was inevitable in the road to recovery. Nothing needs to change, I was doing well and will get those good days back again soon. Just need to put this excellent theory into practice then...

[kizzie]

Hi Ive written on your other thread too (re. blips) but just to say that this isnt at all unusual (ie to start to feel better but then have a set back.)

Sometimes the set backs feel even worse because you have had some better days so youve got to come to terms again with just how horrible it is.

It doesnt mean you arent going to get better x

[mummmypirate]

Hello all, I'm back for some words of encouragement please - you were so wise and supportive last time. I've changed my name by the way, 'feelingcrappy' was such a downer! Anyway, 4 weeks into 40mg and was doing great but in the last 48 hours my old enemy has returned. The anxiety isn't as bad this time but it's very much there again.

Last time I had a setback my GP increased my dose and I was really hoping to stabilise at 40mg. I just need some reassurance that I can ride out this blip without some radical change and that it doesn't mean I've stopped getting better and the citalopram has stopped working.

Thanks in advance...

[smk84]

Saffyronron - glad to hear your GP is nice, that really helps. Once I had been on 40mg for 6 weeks, I was feeling much more able to cope, and things got better from there. I was under the care of the mental health team for a while and they used to tell me all the time that it was a depressive episode and that it wouldn't last forever. It used to get on my nerves when they said this, but it was absolutely true. I have been well for some time now. So just want to encourage you that things will improve. I will keep checking on here just in case you want to stay in touch. You are never alone (but I completely understand that you feel that way - I always had people around, but it was the loneliest time of my life cos no one could understand!)

[saffyronron]

smk84, thanks so much for your kind words. I've never been on AD's before but have learned a lot on MN. I definitely don't feel great and realised I feel very alone and maybe that's why I'm feeling low. Xmas can be a difficult time of year. I'm hoping I'll feel better in the new year. I have to go back to my GP so I'll see what she has to say - she's very nice so that makes things a little easier.

[smk84]

saffyronron - I have just seen your post and I expect my reply is too late but I will write it just in case. I believe that the dose can be as high as 60mgs for people who are really suffering. I was in a bad way on 40 mg, but it's all relative - what was bad for me may not be for you and vice versa. It sounds to be like you are being hard on yourself. Going to the doctor is a very brave thing to do. I definitely think that just before and at start of period mood can be much lower. How are you feeling now?

[saffyronron]

Hi, I was about to write a similar thread to this one. I'm week 6 on citalopram and felt great at day 2 then started having some weird side effects - lots of yawning. Anyway, I went back to the GP for a review at week 4 and felt back to my old self, motivated, better concentration and better able to deal with things. However, these past 4-5 days I've felt anxious and a bit low again. I'm coping ok, but definitely less motivated, lower energy levels and haven't really got off the sofa. I'm also being a bit short tempered with my gorgeous little boy (I don't want to do that). I felt a bit of a fake in the first place going to the GP because I know people have things a lot worse than I do. I can't believe I would need more than 20mgs - isn't that for people who are really really suffering? I've got my period - do you think this could be making me feel worse? I'd really appreciate any advice. Thanks

[smk84]

Excellent news :)

[kizzie]

Thats great to hear x

[feelingcrappy]

Hi all - just a quick update. Day 6 on increased dose and feeling much better. Stopped the propranolol because didn't seem to make a scrap of difference. In the meantime, my anxiety has virtually gone and I'm feeling optimistic and excited about getting ready for Christmas. Back on the way up I hope xx

[smk84]

feelingcrappy - i have only just read this thread, but just wanted to add my experience, hoping it might help. i was on citalopram this time last year, and it took about 4 weeks for it to start working properly. these weeks were the worst of my life, and i was convinced the citalopram was making it worse. the mental health team told me i had to keep waiting and it felt like forever. it DID work though, and after being on 40mg for about 3 weeks, i started to emerge from the depths of depression/anxiety. i hope you are starting to feel better.

[weesudders]

Nananina thanks your name is lovely hope your feeling better too bless you all!

[weesudders]

Hi Eleison and all the thread ,GP phoned me today and increased the citalopram to 20mgs and said I will feel better I went to the supermarket today with my friend and went to her house but I could not wait to get back home ?is this just a wee blip?been in for over two weeks with the horrid weather?please help thanks and thanks to you all x

[Eleison]

Best wishes, fc. I hope the new medication helps.

[feelingcrappy]

Thanks all. Just a bit of an update. My gp has given me propranolol for a week to try and counter some of the physical anxiety symptoms while the higher dose of Cit. kicks in. Still really struggling but hope to turn a corner soon - just wish these horrid adrenalin rushes wld subside. He's also asked the practice counsellor to get in touch with me.

[NanaNina]

Kizzie - I hate blips too they are a BI2G bugger! You really do have to challenge the negative thoughts that "it's all coming back" - I am on my 4th blip now and knowing the last 3 went away, does give me a bit of confidence to think this one will too. It also helps me to know they are a "normal part of recovery" --- have u tried CBT -it's useful for challenging the negative thoughts and stopping the spiral of "oh my god it's all coming back and this time it will be worse and how will I manage etc etc etc" which I think anyone who has suffered depression will do but it does make things worse.

weesudders (sweet name) glad u are feeling bit better.

Sometimes I have to tell myself that there are people far far worse off than me. You young mothers for example - all mine are grown - just don't know how you cope with childcare as well.

Here's wishing everyone well

[weesudders]

Eleison,thanks for your reply ,and yes I feel better today and yesterday poss is working ?and maybe I do not have to increase to 20mgs if I do will I feel awful again like last week? bless you all on this thread and hope we all feel great soon xx

[kizzie]

Hi feeling crappy - re. the medication I suffer horribly with side effects when I increase or decrease the dose - but it does wear off after a while.

And just backing up what Nananina says - following PND I have had a number of 'episodes'. My last bad one (after being very well for 3 years) was in the spring and I am still in the process of recovering. Up until friday I had been feeling great for about 6 weeks but then friday pm it just came over me like a cloud again. Absolutely no reason - had been absolutely fine in the morning. The last few days have been difficult again and I really struglle to stop myself from thinking its all coming back.

I had a pre booked routine drs appointment today and he said 'its a blip' ....

I bloody hate blips - but there you go - they do happen.

Hope things brighten up in the next few days x

[NanaNina]

Feeling crappy - I so know how it feels to be back to your old self only to wake up feeling crap, flat, anxious, unmotivated, no interest, just wanting to stay under duvet, crying etc etc.

I have had 2 severe episodses of depression - one 15 years ago following the death of a close friend (ended up in psychiatric hopital for 3 months) but made complete recovery.

I suffered a 2nd episode last Dec and it got worse and worse and I was trying to manage with therapy but over the Easter weekend it nose dived and TERRIFIED me just like the first time and again was admitted to psychiatric hospital for 3 months. Came out in July but am still struggling with a turbulent recovery. I can go for weeks feeling like my old self and just when I am convinving myself I am recovered - wham - I wake up feeling crap and my cpn who is lovely and visits weekly says they are called "setbacks" or "blips" by mental health specialists and are apparently a normal part of recovery! I am currently on my 4th blip - on Sunday I was at a family party, laughing, joking, being me and woke on Monday morning feeling absolutely bloody awful..........and then I started doing what I shouldn't do - catastrophising - thinking negative thoughts, crying etc etc.

SO it can (and does happen) and no one can say when the blip comes or how long it will last. I keep a daily record (helps me to write things down) and score each day then I add how many good days in say a 3 month period and how many bad days and am always surprised that there have been far fewer bad days than I thought.

I really recommend CBT - my cpn has introduced me to it and it does help if you can get yourself into it - it's very very simple too. My cpn was coming to see me today but is off sick (this made me feel so much worse) so I wrote down what she would say and tried to carry it through.

When the bad days come are they all day or is there any respite at a particular time - I usually get some respite in the evening.

Of course it may well be that the higher dose will sort things out but do remember that setbacks are seen as a "normal" part of recovery. I didn't have any after my first episode but I was 15 years younger and am now in my late 60s so you may be ok as you are obviously still a young woman.

Hang on in there and try CBT if you can.

[fiddlydee]

Feelingcrappy, is your period due? Citalopram works well for me but I defintiely go downhill for the week before my period.

[feelingcrappy]

Thank you Eleison, your posts do make me feel better. I felt so awful before I started the increase who's to say I wouldn't have felt this bad even without the greater dosage. This is one of the things I find so hard about Cit. the side-effects mimic so many of the symptoms you're taking it for.

[Eleison]

I'm sorry you feel so rubbish. Hang on in there. I went from 20 to 40 in one jump without difficulty, but everyone is different and perhaps it might make sense to take 30 instead of 40 for the first few days. I hope that your GP is helpful with advice about this.

No, I don't think you should have 'weathered the storm'. The increase won't be harming you, though I can see that the transition is hard. Sit it out for a few days, on whatever dose GP recpmmends. There really is a good chance that you wil start to feel better soon on the high dose. Meanwhile, take care and don't expect too much of yourself. xx

[feelingcrappy]

Anyone there so give me some support? Day 2 of upping my dose from 20 - 40mg and I feel absolutely shocking. Waiting for doc to call but really questioning the sense of making such a big jump up. Have all my worst anxiety symptoms but with a horrendous brain fog and extreme fatigue. I feel so hopeless. Cannot believe how bad I feel considering that I felt absolutely back to my old self in the middle of last week. I can I have been doing so well and then hit such a massive brick wall - should I have tried to weather the storm before agreeing to doseage increase? Rambling now... anyone else been through this?