vasectomy vs female sterilisation?

[ApplebyMennym]

My husband and I have decided after our third child we do not want any more. Hormonal contraception doesn't agree with me so it's come down to a choice between me or him getting the snip!

I will admit I am reluctant to do it, having been through four pregnancies and three births, not to mention 16 years of periods, I think it's his turn to maybe have a little discomfort!

Can anyone offer us some advice please?

It's nothing to do with "taking turns".

It's a surgical procedure, and the risks or female sterilisation tend to be over-estimated, and those of male under-estimated.

In men, there is 10% chance of serious complications and there is very little that can be done to treat persistent testicular pain. There are at least 2 MNetters who this has happened to recently (one male, one describing their DH).

It's surgery in both cases and both have risks.

I am one who fell unlucky with long term testicular pain. To top that off my testosterone levels are very low due to the damage done, so sex life is none existent, as well as my health being adversely affected.

Find a way that does not involve surgery.

When I've exhausted all contraceptive possibilities (nearly there!), I think I'll be the one to go under the surgeons knife.

DH isn't fussed about either of us having surgery to prevent further pregnancies, so if he had the snip and got chronic pain then I'd never forgive myself. That only leaves one option.....

I refused.. I did the babies. I've only met one person out of a handful who doesnt go through hell each period after getting it done. No way am I going through what that looks like.

Not that it matters now.

Have had sterilisation (added on to the end of a planned c-section efficient use of time imo) and can highly recommend it. Have had no problems so far and it just feels like a relief to not have to remember anything or go down the hormonal route.

And periods are no worse than before.

My comment about taking turns was meant to be tongue in cheek to be fair.

It seems it's impossible to put a figure on who is more likely to suffer after the surgery, some women report no problems, some report loads of problems, same with men.

If there was another permanent, non hormonal alternative I would go for it. It's possible we will just use condoms for the rest of our fertile days, I don't want either of us to suffer after effects.

Most sterilisations are uncomplicated.

You need to look at the risks - for PVPS is not well understood - and then the benefits - LARC has lower failure than female sterilisation, but is similar to vasectomy.

Also, time to effectiveness. It took 18 months to all clear following DH's vasectomy (plus the 6 weeks or so between decision and operation). That's unlucky, but not that rare. Female sterilisation means you can abandon other contraception the next month (or 3 months plus confirmatory scan if Essure) Vasectomy you need to plan on 6 months, and possibly longer for clearance.