February Music Thread

[Wafflenose]

Have a new thread for February!

This is a place for our ongoing conversation about music, instruments, lessons, ensembles, scales, practice, exams, aural, theory and whatever else you'd like to talk about. Everyone is welcome - new and older members, beginners and advanced.

I have two daughters - Goo (12) flute and piano, in a bit of a slump at the moment, and Rara (9) cello, clarinet and recorder (yes, she's picked it up again) on a roll at the moment. I teach woodwind and have my own little clarinet group called the B Flat Blues, who don't rehearse together regularly, but played in a festival this week.

I also have quite a bit of news, mostly good, but am so tired that it will have to wait until tomorrow now. Hopefully it's worth waiting for (and before anyone asks, no, Goo didn't get the desire of her heart).

[Kutik73]

I do feel my life then would have been very different, had I gone
I hope DS wouldn't feel this way! Obviously we don't know if he has any chance to get in but it's the last thing I'm concerned about right now. I'm stopping him to even think of trying. Life is full of dilemmas...

What miniprada and Goo are experiencing at the new school is what I am hoping to happen for DS. I am not worried about missing out the academic side, as Floot pointed specialist schools do well in the area, but the broader experiences that mainstream schools would offer. Again I am not implying better or worse because I do think it is very personal and basically horses for courses. But when I think of DS, his personality, abilities and tendencies, I feel he will benefit more in the latter environment.

DS won't see what I see of course. He has zero future plans, as I happily expect for a 10 years old! All he knows at the moment is he loves what he does and wants more. I think he should see what mainstream secondary can offer first. He may realise his desire for music can be fulfilled enough and in fact enjoy more.

[Kutik73]

disorganised, you've got very wise advice from folk, Trumpet and Taggie. I have nothing to add but echo what they say. Techniques can be fixed, and I don't think JD expect flawless techniques from 11years olds.

I like to share two DCs' stories.

Boy 1 was a very advanced violinist (his mum is a violin teacher). He auditioned for a specialist school but couldn't get through to the audition stage (rejected at the DVD selection). But got great feedback and also provided a specialist teacher by the school to work on the techniques. He went through painful phases - he got banned to play with other musicians, banned to perform or even to learn a piece, and just worked on basic techniques for years. Recently he had a pre-audition meeting and his techniques were so flawless he was told there would be nothing to add any more. He is only 11, and already has perfect skills as a violinist. He is auditioning very soon and I think he will join the school from September.

Girl 1 just passed grade 4 violin and auditioned for the same school above. She was offered a place at the first attempt. It's very clear her techniques are far away from Boy 1. But the school just couldn't resist her passion in violin.

Boy 1 is my friend's son. I don't know the Girl 1 personally but the school told me about her.

[Doubleup]

Just catching up again. Great haul of results Waffle and lovely to be recognised for the contribution you make too.

We have a slight dilemma here. DD2 has been offered a music scholarship at the school DD1 goes to and in many ways, it would be easy to send her there. Good school, great academic results and a very vibrant music department. The issue is that another girl we know has also been offered one and she is the same level as DD2 on the same instrument. Said girl and DD are in touch by text and she is constantly comparing herself to DD as to who is better than who, saying the teacher likes DD better and gives her opportunities to do things first etc. Generally comes across as insecure, immature and very competitive. Seven years in the same school might turn out to be a bit toxic.

DD2 does have another, very generous music scholarship offered at another school and we are waiting to see what she gets offered at a third school. She has a place, but we are yet to hear from them following music audition and academic scholarship test earlier this week. Any advice?

[Floottoot]

Double up, I can understand your concern. It's never nice to feel someone is shadowing you in that way.
My experience is that year 6 girls are generally tricky and that can carry on into year 7 but gets better in year 8. Hopefully, the other girl will find her feet in the new school and stop worrying so much about what your DD is doing. There will always be one of 'those' people, wherever you go - your DD could find exactly the same sort of issue if she goes to the other school, so maybe it's better the devil you know?
DS started in a new school in September, as a music scholar. After playing in his first concert, an older cellist made a point of telling him his cello was waaaay too small and he needed to work on his performance skills ( whatever THEY are, at 11!!). Her mother tried to give me the girl's teacher's details, and her own phone number...which I conveniently list when DS washed it off the back of his hand. 😂

[Pythonesque]

Kutik I recognise what you describe about not relating music and future careers - my 12 yr old has really only started to develop any sense of where he might want to take his music over perhaps the last 6 months. Up to then it was only about the here and now, music being something he chose to do a lot of day to day.

We have found the choirschool experience an immense privilege precisely because you get a degree of music immersion without closing other doors for the future, and they move on at the point where academics need more attention... For us there are clear academic interests alongside music so the music specialist route is more clearly not appropriate at this time (despite the fact that, having just got home from Sat morning music at school, he appears to be writing a string quartet).

I rather gather that music as a career needs to be something a young person goes into because they cannot possibly not do it, and for many, back-up options remain important. And yet, to really make it on popular instruments you need input to ramp up as early as practical. My sister was told at about age 19 that she should have been in Europe several years earlier, but in fact she didn't make it to the UK until postgrad as it was financially impossible. And at 15/16 she was still interested in other careers as well anyway.

[folkmamma]

Double, it sounds like the issues are on the side of the other child rather than DD2? All you can really do is try and set that situation aside and decide which is the best fit for your DD irrespective of her. There will always be 'those kids' in whatever school they go to, it's just this time you know who it is ahead of time... at least you (and DD!) will be prepared. Not easy though!

I've just been having a long (3hr) heart to heart with the head of my girls' theatre school about our JD plans. While I am relatively happy that things will play out as the fates decide for DD1, I am not sure we are doing the right thing by DD2 at all. I have entered her for an audition for the 'Music First' course, kind of a mini-JD designed to progress them quickly to the advanced course. Trouble is, she is a very complex character. I don't think Music will be 'it' for her in later life, although it will be very important to her and a kind of therapy. She is currently making huge leaps forward in terms of confidence from theatre school and is doing things I NEVER imagined she would (singing on her own in front of people, standing for school council, auditioning for solos in choir). I worry we are compromising on what she needs for the sake of big sister - taking her to JD because it is convenient to have them both in the same place. I don't think I would even be considering this course for DD2 if not for the fact that we are looking at it for DD1, which feels like the wrong motivation.

That said, I don't think DH will agree to it if they aren't both doing it- he's only sold on the idea because it's meant to make life more simple....

[Trumpetboysmum]

Folk that is tricky finding the balance for both of them . Is there no way that ddd2 could carry on at theatre school with them pursuing their own interests on a Saturday ? ( though that of course wouldn't be making your life simpler) My 2 have never done the same things so I've always had to split myself in 2 and hope for the best. But Maybe your dd2 will gain the same skills from doing the music course . She could always try it and go back to theatre school if it doesn't work out

[folkmamma]

I don't know.... I don't think DH will be open to that. Maybe we will defer if they get in. I guess we see what happens at the auditions and take it from there. Funny really- I thought the loss of Theatre School would be harder on Noo (she is the performer really, totally split 50/50 her love of violin and her love of theatre) but she knows she will still get it via school, summer holiday projects and the odd production (if it fits). Whereas for Moll it's not about that, it's been such a huge development thing. She couldn't even bear people looking in her direction when she first started and would stand there with her hands in her mouth looking at the floor... but maybe JD will also build her up in that way, just differently. I need to try not to over-think this until it is actually an issue! One or both of them might not get in...

[Trumpetboysmum]

I know what you mean I always overthink things but it always works out in the end . Dd is now trying out to see if competitive swimming is her thing - help

[folkmamma]

OMG I put my foot down about that. There is NO WAY you will find me on a poolside at 6am. Swimming mums are hardcore 😂

[Wafflenose]

Rara is a club swimmer, but doesn't want to compete. She got arm twisted into a relay competition recently and it was a bit of a disaster. She was entered into age 10-12 and she's a tiny 9 year old, which is ridiculous. She slipped off the starting blocks, looked around to see if her 'dive' was legal, and lost half a length doing that. Everyone was shouting, "Swim, Rara, swim!" and there were some tears afterwards. Racing isn't for her, but she enjoys training.

[Pradaqueen]

Doubleup - I am a big fan of kids going to secondary school without anyone from the previous school. That way, they can be the people they want to be without someone reminding them in front of new faces of the time they threw up/burst into tears/ fell over when they were 6.... however, that said assuming the academics and music are similar at both, having both of your kids at the same school, with the same holidays/inset days etc has got to be easier in terms of your sanity? As difficult as it will be with another girl comparing and competing with your own,I agree with others who have said there may be exactly the same issue at the other school with another child. Difficult decision to make and I know from last year had another child miniprada knew managed to get a place at the school she is at, I would've been concerned too. The other child wasn't successful , so the issue went away thank goodness.

[ealingwestmum]

Oh Trumpet, I have no words of wisdom. I am assuming your DD is younger than your DS'? That's some juggling you have ahead - but very good luck to her. It'll keep her wonderfully fit. Which can translate to fit minds and organisation skills for some...

folk; some are hardcore...but overall they are not a patch on music mums!

[Trumpetboysmum]

Thank you all for your words i have resisted even letting her try before but her school teacher mentioned it again this week so we went along and she really enjoyed it. At the moment it's not a lot of extra training and I'm not sure how far it will go or whether dd will want to give up some of the many other things that she does. We shall see

[WindMum]

I'm both music mum and swim mum to same DD - no early mornings but 3 evenings (two at the weekend) plus school swim club. She competes for her club and has done for 2 years. She still fits in practice on swimming days too. She's taking grade 6 piano and grade 6 clarinet in May/July and grade 3 singing. She's in year 6. Swimming clears her head, helps her focus and is great for breathing! I'm just great fun it's an indoor sport which is warm for spectators and we can sit down!

[WindMum]

*grateful not great fun!

[Trumpetboysmum]

Yes it's nice and warm poolside !! Dd is in year 5 and who knows it might turn out to be sometthing that she really enjoys ( currently this is singing and all things musical theatre) so we have to give it a go

[Greenleave]

My second is going to be 4 next month. I have always thought not to start music lesson until at least 5 however she seems so keen(always give it ago whenever she got hang of her sister violin or piano). Should we do 15mins lesson to start with, we could combine with her 10 yrs old sister lesson to save the cost. Cant believe it is our little baby turn to start learning music!!!

[folkmamma]

Hi Green! I know of a few kids that started at 4 very successfully - Suzuki seems to be very effective at that age. We started DD2 on the violin at 4 thinking she was ready as like yours, she couldn't wait to get hold of DD1 violin! It didn't work out for her, so we stopped, but it totally depends on the child.. (she then started cello at 6 and is doing very well at that). All I would say though, is I'd be cautious of sharing a lesson (even for only 15 min) with DD1. They will have such different needs and in reality, I suspect you will be sacrificing 15min of DD1 lesson rather than sharing. Which might be ok!? I guess it depends what's happening with DD1!

[catkind]

I started at nearly 4 with suzuki and still going at 40 :) DD started at 3 and still going at nearly 6, she made slow progress compared to older learners but has fun with it. Only really realised how much she had learned actually when she took up piano at 5 (still too early for some local teachers) and this time streaked ahead of much older learners.

I think like anything else they do at 4, it's for having fun now not because you think it'll get them to Olympic level any quicker than starting at 6. DD's teacher isn't Suzuki though uses some of their music. But was recommended to me as someone who would be fun with a little one, which she has been. If they have a group locally to you, stringbabies also looks really interesting for little ones.

[se22mother]

Green dd started violin with suzuki at 4 Although she is no longer following that method she has happy memories and strong bonds with girls who started that method at a similar age. They meet up in local orchestra now. I'm happy to pm you the details of teachers if you want

[drummersmum]

Hi green at 4 DS was having 30min piano lessons. It worked for him. It depends on the child. Personally I find 15 min too short. They go setting up, talking, etc...

[drummersmum]

kutik I think you're doing the right thing

[TrumpetVoluntary]

Well done Waffle and DDs - sounds like you all did brilliantly!
Am afraid I am not experienced enough in the area of music education to have helpful advice on the other scenarios but hope you all find something that works for your DC! I do understand the concerns about the DD going to the same secondary school as the competitive friend, but if the secondary school is relatively large then hopefully they would both make new friends and the situation would be diluted a bit?

[catkind]

DD had 20 minute violin lesson at 3 and still does at 5. She will happily play the piano for half an hour+, but runs out of steam after 15-20 mins on violin. So not only depends on the child, depends on the instrument! Maybe it's more tiring to hold up the violin? Or maybe it's just new instrument honeymoon period...