Dance lessons - where to draw the line

[shebird]

Hello all, I am in need of some advice about dance lessons and exams because it's starting to take over our lives and our bank account. I have 2 DDs and both do ballet, tap and modern and also extra group lessons for dance competitions and festivals. What started out as a bit of fun dancing about at age 3 has now snowballed with most days taken up with dance.

Both DDs love dance and I am very happy that they are so active and healthy and I do believe they benefit from it. However, as they are getting older there are constant requests for extra lessons for exams or shows involving more time and expense and I am starting to question where all this is going. They are both good dancers and do well in exams but I am unsure if dance is something they will pursue as a career.

I guess what I'm asking is, where do I draw the line? Do I continue shelling out a small fortune indefinitely and run myself ragged? I am happy for them to continue lessons but the extras are just a bridge too far. Is there any point doing lessons if they don't do exams? I would be love some advice because I just don't know where all of this is going.
TIA

[shebird]

Goodness Lechers, that is certainly a lot of hours, hats off to you and your DD for such dedication. It must take some work to fit all that in with school and homework etc.

Murphys - I think we are also at that crossroads, with two DDs dancing plus doing other activities, things are just getting a bit hectic and very expensive. However, I agree that dance has many benefits. The discipline and dedication required is enormously beneficial in all areas of life. I sometimes think school teachers could learn a thing or two from dance teachers.

[murphys]

We are in the same situation OP. Although I only have one dd, she does ballet, modern, hiphop. Last year we discussed her stopping, we had a bit of a fallout with the teacher, the festivals and competitions and exams were all getting too much, never mind the never ending costumes etc that went with it. She does quite a few other sports as well, so we thought that taking a break from some would be a good idea.

Well, she didn't and now she is starting tap as well. Why, well she wanted to do it, and I can see how it has benefitted her in other areas. My once shy child gets up on stage to do solos, she is so much more confident in herself, and believe it or not, is excelling at school where before she battled somewhat.

She wont be a professional dancer, but it doesn't matter. She has gained so much from this in other areas of her life.

Just last week we were introduced to an older lady through a friend. She saw dd walking towards her, and asked me if she was my dd. She then went on to say what a beautiful child she is (I know I am gloating a bit here.. ) but what makes her more so, is the way that she carries herself, with the most beautiful posture and presence.

And I looked at her walking up the street and I realized this to which I really didn't notice so much before... and I know that much of this is due to her dancing lessons.

[AmeliaPeabody]

I agree entirely, Lecherslady.

We're in a similar position with gymnastics. You need to do a lot of hours. Some people drop a day, or miss training, but they're usually excluded from the competitions. It's so competitive.

It's really useful for dance, though, on the whole, I think. All that conditioning, super flexibility and strength

[lecherslady]

I think with dance, you can do more or less, and that at least you do get to retain some control over how much they do, purely by how many disciplines of dance you let them do.

My daughter's primary hobby is gymnastics, and at 11 she's training almost 20 hours a week. She does just under 4 hour training sessions five times a week. All of this is non negotiable with very little time off.

On top of this, she dances and does festival dancing too. She does 2.5 hours of normal lessons per week, plus her private lesson. We don't let her do that many group dances etc because we cannot commit to them because of the gym. So she could do more, but we don't let her because it would be too much.

On the other hand, with the gym it is non negotiable. To compete at the level she is at, she needs to do a minimum of 15 hours a week. I believe this is the guidance given by BG I think. So even if we changed club, she'd still have to do similar hours to stay competing at her level (and believe me, she's nowhere near the top level - there's loads of gymnasts training at a much higher level than her!) . Whereas in dancing, you can add more / less. You can change dance schools as some do more others do less. I think you as a parent have more control. At DDs last dance school, they did expect more commitment from their dancers but they were more festival focussed. Her new school is less festival focussed and more flexible. I think that is a big advantage in dancing, that it's not the constant crazy hours all year round, but maybe that's just my experience.

[dancestomyowntune]

Don't get me wrong, I understand completely that there needs to be middle ground. Our studios do not insist on anything really, and. Most children probably don't do quite as much as my dd, although a fair few do.

[shebird]

It was all so lovely when they were little fairies doing good toes bad toes

[Theas18]

Shebird we had a dalliance with dance for a time when they were small and the " if you don't take the exam you can't progress and you can't take the exam without extra classes " was what put the lid on it tbh. Dd1 loved it but was a bit of an un coordinated heap. Dd2 could have gone far bring elegant and coordinated from early on but didn't get the chance. DS danced too. Aww those were the days :-)

[shebird]

Theas - I guess my only experience is with dance so I'm trying to console myself a bit by thinking that other activities are just as consuming. I agree that it is a shame that in a lot of dance schools there is an all or nothing attitude, where there is huge pressure to do all the extras. We've had threats of 'if you don't do x extra class then you can't be in the group class for festivals' or 'if you miss an exam lesson you will have to pay for a private lesson instead'.

[dancestomyowntune]

Dd1 is 11. Her current schedule is:

Monday: interfoundation ballet 1.15hrs, body con 45mins.
Tuesday: jazz 45 mins, Greek 45mins tap 30mins student programme (currently jazz bronze award but can be anything) 1hr.
Wednesday: grade 6 ballet 45mins. Interfoundation ballet 1.15hrs
Thursday: tap 45mins
Friday: song and dance 45mins, interfoundation ballet 1.15hrs modern grade 5 45mins
Saturday: interfoundation ballet 1:15hrs intermediate ballet 1:15hrs and body con 45mins.

She has also been attending extra exam classes on a Sunday for interfoundation ballet (which she is taking on Sunday). These were An hour long. After her exam she will drop the interfoundation but pick up the equivalent amount of lessons in intermediate classes.

This is quite normal at our studio. Dd also attends festival rehearsals and workshops on Saturday afternoons and Sundays.

Ds1 is 8. His schedule is currently:

Monday: grade 2 ballet 45 mins
Tuesday: jazz 45mins
Wednesday: Greek 30mins
Nothing on Thursday.
Friday: tap 30mins, song and dance 45mins, modern 45mins
Saturday: grade 2 ballet 45 mins an body con 45 mins.

[nonicknameseemsavailable]

ah ok I see, that makes sense to me now tess.

It is logical that the more they do the faster they will progress, I just don't know anywhere round our area that do more than 1 ballet class a week (not that I could cope with my more activities mind so I am not actively looking)

I don't know how people cope with all the different classes, I have enough trouble remembering who needs what colour leotard or what shoes/props etc which day as it is.

[tess73]

hi, sorry only just back to this.
my dd does RAD ballet which in theory is 1 hour class 1 x week plus 1 hour coming up to exams. So at the moment that is monday and friday, her grade 1 is this weekend. No idea why her class has been so SLOW on this, she's been doing ballet at this school since she was 4. At the end of last term her ballet teacher offered to "speed her up" so she is doing the grade 2 RAD class on Thursday and will take Grade 2 next summer. At the end of this term she will drop the monday class and the friday exam prep class is over for now so i hpoe the new year will be a bit more manageable.
The sunday class is LJB which cannot replace RAD, it is supplementary with no exams/syllabus.
The saturday class is a different dance school which she loves, she won't do any more exams with this school as it got too much last summer with extra classes. They do twice yearly shows, costumes etc which is great for dd and is a lot of fun. I may even take her out of this dance school in the summer term when they focus on the exam rather than preparing for shows, we'll see.

I hope this clarifies, interesting to hear that many of you thought it sounds right.

[Picturesinthefirelight]

My daughter had major syllabus changes and other things to contend with. She took Grade 1 in Year 3 (the minimum age to take Grade 1 is 7) & Grade 2 in Year 4 but them spent 6 months doing the old Grade 3 syllabus & 18 months doing the new Grade 3 syllabus so only reached Grade 3 by the end if Year 6. - & never actually took the exam.

[Picturesinthefirelight]

I'd say the majority of children take Grade 1 RAD ballet at around the age of 7.

How they progress therein depends in a number of factors but for a capable child on 2 45-60 min classes a week they can have reached Grade 4/5 by the end of primary school.

[AmeliaPeabody]

I think if some children are only doing one ballet lesson a week then it is more likely to take longer to be ready for the exam and work their way through the grades.

[nonicknameseemsavailable]

gosh. I know the RAD schools are slightly ahead of the ISTD ones round here but still I know of children in 4 different ballet schools who are only Grade 1-2 ish in Yr5.

[teacherwith2kids]

Peabody and Amelia said what i meant so much more succinctly than I did!

[AmeliaPeabody]

I think Tess' schedule sounds right too. The amount of ballet is similar to our own schedule, minus LJB-type classes at present, though we use two dance schools (and we have addition of more tap and gym, then festivals).

[Picturesinthefirelight]

I don't think tess's dds schedule sounds particularly out of place for a child who has reached the standard to get into LJB.

[teacherwith2kids]

I read that as 2.45 hours (except at exam time) with her 'normal' ballet school, and 3 hours on a Sunday with an associates / junior ballet / similar scheme elsewhere.

DD did Grade 3 in Y4, so would have been doing a very similar amount at her normal dance school (2 hours ballet lessons, perhaps an extra hour in exam term, 2 hours of 'troupe' work, half hour solo lesson), and a similar amount of tap and modern. However, she has never done any ballet outside her own dance school, except for festivals, the ballet awards etc - not a regular class IYSWIM.

At her dance school, children would do primary in Year 1, Grade 1 in Year 2ish, then progress increasingly slowly - DD is still doing a ballet exam each year, but she is unusual, for most of the older ones (she is 11) it has gone down to 1 every 4-5 terms through the grades. So in Year 6 she did Grade 5.

[nonicknameseemsavailable]

sorry by why does she do so much ballet I mean how is a yr4 child already good enough to be at a level that they need to do that much if that makes sense?

In most of the dance schools I know round here in Yr4 they are still only grade 1ish

[nonicknameseemsavailable]

tess that is a crazy amount.

Can I ask why she does so much ballet? is that all with the same dance school? it is a huge amount for yr4 IMO.

[tess73]

interesting for me to read all this too
DD2 is yr4 and after school she does
Monday - 1 hour ballet
Tuesday - 1/2 hour swimming
Wednesday - 1 hour chess, 1 hour drama
Thursday - 1 hour ballet
Friday - 1 hour ballet (only at exam time)
saturday - 45 min ballet, 45 min tap, 45 min modern, 30 min choir
sunday - 2 hr ballet 1 hr repertoire (LJB)

that's a lot right? i am not sure quite how we/she manages it all .

it all seems to have got out of control very quickly!

[Theas18]

Interesting. I note the 2nd comment implying you can sub any hobby for this needing extra input round exams etc.

That is definitely not our experience and the exam pressure and the extra exam classes etc drove me bonkers very quickly. It really seemed like a licence to charge as much as they liked as basically the kids were not actually ready for the exams!

Also they couldn't progress if they didn't pass the exam. You couldn't be a 2 hobby" dancer at all. It was all pretty pushy TBH

Music exams apart from a rehearsal with the pianist there is no extra and no extra charges bar exam fees.

Actually we don't pay any extra for orchestras via the music service or school.

[taxi4ballet]

Perhaps it could depend on how long the classes are, as to whether extra classes are needed.

Students taking 45 minute classes (for instance) will probably need more exam practice time than those having classes of an hour or more.

Also, some teachers will wait until their students are ready for the exam before booking an exam session. Others hold exams regularly at the same time every year, and their students might need more practice lessons.

Who knows? Teachers make up their own rules half the time!

[shebird]

I wouldnt mind if each exam did not involve the cost of extra lessons plus the extra time. The teacher is adamant that extra lessons for exams are compulsory but if other schools manage without doing this I wonder why ours is different .