4 year old sleeping in dads and stepmothers bed

[Penn69]

Despite my ex agreeing that my son, who is 5 in January, should sleep in his own bed, he allows him to climb in with him and his new partner (of 2 years) in the small hours of the morning. He says our son gets upset when asked to return to his own bed. My son is tired when he returns from his dad's and says he likes the cuddles but does get hot sharing a bed. I think my ex should take control, and gently but firmly take him back to his own bed. AIBU?

[Penn69]

Ok. But my ex did agree that my ds sleeps better in his own bed and he can be overtired when he comes back to me. I know this type of shared parenting often has some tensions and I don't make real issues of things. My ex finds it difficult to say "no" to anything my ds wants, and while I understand this I believe it could create problems as he gets older. We have, however, discussed this at length so hopefully all will be well. My ds is certainly a happy and bright child

[mumeeee]

YABU

[milkysmum]

Up to your ex how he manages bed times when he with him really isn't it? What's the problem with a 5 year old getting into bed with his dad when he is away?

[aforestgrewandgrew]

YABU, I'm sorry to say.

It must be so hard having to share parenting with an ex.

But - so many parents the world over do what your ex is doing. It might not be your way, but letting your DC snuggle in with you is totally normal. DD comes into our bed early every morning, for example.

[Stuffythedragon]

His partner is not new after 2 years...

My dsd was 3 when I moved in with dp (we were together for a year and a bit) and she often climbed into bed for a cuddle with us.
On the other hand, My ds was 6 when me and his dad separated and if he had needed a cuddle in the middle of the night and his stepmom was there, I wouldn't care. He needs a cuddle from his daddy at that moment.
Just ask him to put him back in bed when he's asleep to stop the bed confusion.
Why do you think it UR?

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

He's 5 and away from home!

[Milkand2sugarsplease]

Wow - he's 5 (soon), not 15. He's still so little in the grand scheme of things.

[BombayBonsai]

Honestly... it's up to your ex. I understand that it's not easy but you can't actually force him to do what you've asked.

[instantly]

What's the problem exactly? That he's tired?

[Heirhelp]

Yes I think you. If he wants cuddles from his Dad then there is nothing wrong with allowing them. Can you ask him to carry your son back to his bed when he is asleep?