Packing to cope with care home laundry

[Frankinsenseless]

DM is going into a care home within days so I’m packing her bags.

I’ve read threads that say the care home laundries wash clothes on a super hot wash. Is this true in your case? I might have to buy DM some more clothes as her wardrobe seems to exist entirely of clothes that say a 30 degree wash. And a cool iron. 🤦‍♀️

TIA

Hot wash does seem to be standard. I wouldn't send anything woollen.

And label everything - shoes and slippers, glasses, glasses cases, remote controls - not just clothes.

label everything - shoes and slippers, glasses, glasses cases, remote controls - not just clothes.

Even false teeth! Very common that they go missing / get muddled up.

We were advised of the hot wash at care homes, but so far my mum's clothes (including knitted cardigans) seem to look OK.

Yes, everything tends to get put in on one hot wash and then gets tumble dried. Label absolutely everything - even ornaments, photos, watches etc. if it goes through the front door of the home label it!

As a person who does bulk laundry (boarding school) - those stick it labels will and do come off or fade away to nothing, the old fashioned sewn in labels are the best, followed by the printed ink which is printed straight on to the clothes and not via a label which is then stuck on. Check with the home regarding ironing - some iron everything, some have presses and some don’t iron other things other than certain set items eg all shirts.
Don’t rely on just initials written on care labels as it’s surprising how bad those fade and how many people have the same initials!

Thanks for your replies. The care home manager says she uses her own labels. I might get some sew in ones even though people in RL scoffed at me when I raised this (having sewn in labels for two different sets of school uniform, I’m a dab hand).

Ornaments etc - will a sharpie be OK?

Ornaments and sharpie are fine!

If you can - assuming spectacles are worn. Get the arm of the frame engraved with your mums name. Specsavers do this when they visit (and sell!) new glasses. You might find that they will engrave existing glasses or a jeweller who has engraving equipment on their premises may do it. Failing that you can scratch a name on the inside of the frame using a dremel hand held tool.
glasses get swapped all the time!

Yes, beware of the hot wash. I recently had to get new bras for mum as the home had wrecked a couple of her old ones by washing them and they requested that the new ones be without any lace and made of cotton if possible. Mind you she's been in there 15 months so I suppose that's not too bad.

Take photos of all her gear so if her yellow jumper goes missing temporarily, you can show a photo and a staff member will repatriate.

Asda here I come. Good old George.

You can get shrink on labels for spectacles, they come printed with the name and you slip them onto the arm and shrink them with a hairdrier. By the time I took them in (two days) MIL was already wearing someone else's glasses.

One home wrote the room number on the wash label, that seemed to work well enough. They told me not to worry about labelling anything as they had a marker pen and knew how to use it. I replaced all mum's clothes that wouldn't survive a hot wash, mostly her wool jumpers as they weren't superwash.

I used white nail varnish on a dark hair brush. Let it dry and Sharpie over that.

If there’s a dressing gown belt, either label that too, or preferably sew it on. I didn’t think of either, , so the belt went missing, never to be seen again. Belt on new one was sewn on straightaway.

My mother's care home washes everything at 60. I buy her cotton clothes and pyjamas from M&S, Cotton Traders, occasionally Primark. Some of her Cotton Traders clothing has survived several years of care home laundering. The things which deteriorate quickest seem to be pyjamas, the elasticated waist perishes. I use iron-on labels, except for socks which are difficult to label, I do sew those labels on.

I agree with the advice re specs. The week my mother moved there, the manager showed me a drawer full of unnamed and very similar looking specs, residents take them off and leave them around, and he had no way of knowing who they belonged to.

When my grandmother went into a care home, despite labelling everything, you'd still see other ladies wearing her clothes! Also she then lost loads of weight and we started to buy new clothes and the carehome manager said to us not to bother wasting any money as they had plenty there to spare.

If you have any "favourite" clothes then maybe don't send them in with her. Also, for belongings anything sentimental keep at home.

I would bring home and launder my dad's woolly jumpers for him, the care home laundry boil washed everything. And yes to labels! The woven kind, stitched on to survive the heat. Even towels and bedding

It’s really boring having to take Christmas presents out of their boxes and label them before wrapping them. And it means you can’t get things sent straight to the home.

If you have any "favourite" clothes then maybe don't send them in with her. Yet another reason to avoid a care home - not only do you lose all your valuables (they’re equally lost to you whether they’re at home or in the room of another resident) and you can’t even wear clothes you like. Is it surprising that people try to make out they’re coping better than they are?

I bought a practical wardrobe of easy care clothes for MIL and sewed name tapes on all of them. Also collected together her sensible shoes and slippers.
Most of it disappeared within a couple of weeks and she was shuffling round in a massive dress, socks and crocs that were 3 sizes too big. We had to give up replacing the hearing aids because it got too expensive. This was 10 years ago and the cost of the home was £1500 a week.
My advice would be not to buy or send in anything expensive.

My dad had the odd item go missing in the laundry (mainly slippers - I suspect they just fell apart), but was always dressed in his own clothes. That's really shoddy care giving people the wrong things that don't even fit.

It’s moving day today. Thank you for your words of wisdom. I am leaving the Jaeger and Hobbs clothes at home and have ransacked Tesco for cheap as chips clothes she might like. The photos that have the most sentimentality will stay at home.

Thanks again. Unmumsnetty hug 🤗

I think it varies between care homes. My MIL's looked after her clothes beautifully. My mum's, not so much. So I'd ask the care home what temperature they wash at. It's be far nicer for your mum to wear the clothes she likes and is familiar with, if possible.

Good luck @Frankinsenseless It will be a sad occasion but this will balance with the sense of relief that you know she is safe and warm and in company. Don't be surprised if they tell you not to visit for a couple of days so she can settle.
Your comment about Hobbs and Jaeger reminded me of a marvellous resident at two of DM's places. (When one closed they both moved to same place.) She had previously owned a shoe and handbag concession in one of the big department stores in a major city. As she become more frail she had been addicted to champagne and had been calling taxis to Asda to pick up supplies. She had been taken to the care home but all her attire was business wear: Jaeger, Max Mara, all with matching shoes bags and pearls. She had no casual clothes Everyday she also had complete customer facing makeup. I saw and was familiar to her in the care home(s) for about five years. Always the very formal I can -meet-the Queen today look. Then one day, snow prevented many staff from coming to work. I could walk to the care home in less than an hour so arrived with supplies for my DM. In the lounge, Helen was having her make up lovingly applied by one of the teenage kitchen porters. He said he'd watched his sisters for hours putting on their make up so how hard could it be? He made a fantastic job.

Agreed.

My dad is always in his own clothes.

Not just nicer, an essential part of knowing who you are. There’s a reason prisons all over the world deprive people of the right to wear their own clothes!