Dad is 79... when did your DF start noticably aging?

[abpd]

As title says DF is 79, he's been great up until now and I think I'm starting to see him begin to turn elderly.

When did you notice your DF really start aging? Did it happen gradually or quickly?
Would like to know what to expect in terms of his abilities for the next few years.

[Stormbornform]

Mine started looking frailer mid 70's but still both fit as fiddles.

[abpd]

@Stormbornform how old are they now?

[abpd]

DF is getting a bit more dizzy I've noticed. A bit shorter and more deaf. He's also forgetting things more easily.

[blobby10]

My Dad is the same age but doesn't look it and is still very active, riding his horse, doing stable yard stuff and walking his dog. He worked almost full time running his own business with 20 employees until 4 years ago when he stopped overnight to look after my mum (2 years younger) after a massive stroke.

He has aged hugely since then as is life now revolves around mum and her appointments and medication. She could help herself a lot more but has labelled herself as disabled and housebound and under his control as its an easier option than pushing herself to do things - she admits this. Lively/articulate/interesting/stimulating conversation between them is limited and when shes on a downer she takes it out on him and its horrible to see how badly it affects him. He loves her so much he will never talk badly about her but does occasionally open up to me about how hard he finds life right now.

[EasterBunnny]

Very noticible at 74, he died when he was 75.

[tobyj]

IME 75 was a big turning point - though I do wonder whether Covid and lack of socialisation have accelerated this. My four parents/ILs are now aged 77-79. At 74, I'd have said they were all in pretty good shape (one had a few physical health issues). Now, one is going into a care home (dementia) and one has rapidly worsening cognitive impairment and numerous health/anxiety issues. The other two are still pretty good, but still have noticeable physical and memory decline.

[EmotionalBlackmail]

Somewhere between about 76 and 80.

Although it did seem to partly depend on how fit and active they'd been before that. The one taking regular
exercise (walking as didn't drive) and regularly socialising fared much better.

[Validus]

noticeable aging at 75. Still ok but mobility issues, eyesight and hearing, and just not able to do as much.

[sleekcat]

My parents are 80/82. They look older than they used to but I haven't really noticed any physical decline yet. They aren't as tall as they used to be though!

[ALunchbox]

Mid 70s. Still independent and everything but lacks a sense of adventure and fears the unknown. Spends his time at home, won't drive in the dark, never goes cycling (which he used to do a lot).

[artfuldodgerjack]

When my mum died. He was 70, now 74.
And now I'm seeing the signs of dementia that I saw in my grandmother in him. Personality changes, very forgetful, and getting obsessed over strange stuff.

[herecomesthesun24]

80 tipped from really good health (other than hearing loss) into deteriorating health

[ThePoshUns]

My dad is 75 and has aged a lot in the last year. He's lost his confidence and frets over minor stuff which he didn't used to do. Physically a little slower but still active.

[PermanentTemporary]

At 70 Mum was more easily worried by minor stuff.
At 80 I started finding it restful to visit Mum (rather than exhausting because she previously never sat down except briefly while eating)
At 82 I noticed that she or her partner had stuck a checklist on her front door to reduce the times she forgot things
At 84 she moved house to be nearer me and it was fairly disastrous at least partly because of cognitive decline

[Newbalancebeam]

I think the key is a purpose and connections. The eldest in our families lived to over 100. They were very active, independent, sociable, stoical and made the best of things despite declining health towards the end. They’d have put today’s snowflakes to shame. Even when their other halves had sadly passed, they got out and about to groups, actively took part in the community, read, drove, socialized, went for a daily walk, did the crossword in the newspaper. Excellent conversationalists. Obviously no one can help illness etc, but when relatively well, there’s a lot that can be done to promote and improve health and happiness. I’d caveat all that with saying both examples had decent amounts of cash. It did help buy in cleaners and carers etc.

[SleepingisanArt]

In his mid 70s - loss of Mum didn't help but he's become useless (now 78)! Used to do a very dangerous job which needed clear thinking, now can't cope with a bus timetable, barely leaves the sofa (yet claims to be incredibly busy), constantly complains about health issues (real or imagined), turns all conversation to being about him, won't take any advice and is utterly ungrateful when we visit (it's 200 miles from here to him). I've given up trying to help (he's adamant he doesn't need any) so I'll just wait until his GP or the hospital phone me when he won't be in any state to refuse help.....

[justasking111]

Neighbours either side. The husbands have health issues.

One wife chivies her husband to keep moving which he does, they're very happy.

The other husband minor stroke is a bit of a bully she tries to keep him going physically but he's very stubborn.

Neither couple have cognitive issues.

[Hungrycaterpillarsmummy]

My dad is 67 and I can honestly say I've noticed a change for the last few years...

[Lonelycrab]

DF is 83, he had pneumonia a few years ago and was very touch and go, was fully prepared for the worst. Pulled through but since then is not very mobile at all, frail and weak. No problems mentally thankfully but he takes care to stimulate his mind. Tough as old boots it would seem but I wonder how long before the physical side deteriorates further.

My dm is 79 and still very healthy and active for her age.

[StylishM]

Parents and in-laws are into 70s and all fine, couple of new knees between them. Granny is 87 and decline happened swiftly in the covid lockdowns. She went from fit, active and sociable to forgetful, weak and tired. The physical decline and loss of muscle tone in the initial lockdown she had shocking. She now needs a cleaner, gardener, shopping doing and ferrying to all appointments

[Mothership4two]

After 80 parents started to look frail and said that physically life became much more of a struggle. They have both been fit and active (and generally healthy) all their lives.

[shearwater2]

My dad had a massive heart attack (had to be resuscitated) at 75. Up to then he had been super fit and healthy. A bypass gave him a few more years, lived to 81, but he wasn't like he was before and more of a little old man really. Hip/knee issues had returned also so his mobility was poor, but he wasn't strong enough to have surgery. I'm glad we got a few more years with him though.

[shearwater2]

My mum on the other hand, in spite of being overweight and having diabetes, is going strong at 84! Her mobility isn't what it was a few years ago, more due to hardly going out of the house due to the pandemic than anything though.

[Fifthtimelucky]

Mine was absolutely fine until 84 when he had a freak accident and broke his leg. He was never quite the same after that.

[Groovy48592747]

DF is 72 and is in a nursing home with dementia. Doesn't look particularly frail.

FIL started to look different and aged at 65, aging came on quickly at that point. He died shortly after.