Have been on MN in various guises over the years, urgently need advice about my dad. He is in his eighties, had a stroke a few months ago, which has left him wheelchair bound, with little use of his left side and slurred speech, but his mind is sharp as a knife. Not many people can understand his speech now, I can, but noticed people who don't know him can't. He is also very deaf, so people often just assume he is slightly ga ga. He was in a community hospital for several months since the stroke, and my brother is main point of contact for him, and has been dealing with SWs and so on as they have been talking about needing the bed and transferring him to a care home as he can no longer cope in his flat. His main issue is needing help to get to the toilet as he is wheelchair bound. Whilst my brother was away working, they suddenly, without any notice, transferred him to a care home that we had not approved. I got a message from my brother telling me they had notified him he was being moved as they urgently needed the bed. I found my dad in this care home, and the staff are perfectly nice and friendly, and doing their best, but the home is very unsuitable, It is majority dementia residents, and the lift is so narrow that his hospital wheelchair barely fits into it, we want to get him an electric wheelchair in the long term so that he is not dependent on being pushed around [currently he gets parked up and is unable to move, we found him stuck right in front of the TV in the common room, in front of x factor, which he hates, surrounded by dementia patients.] But we can't get him a new wheelchair as it won't fit in the lift. He is in the only room they have which is much, much smaller than any other room, absolutely tiny, and impossible for him to move in, he can't reach the sink in his wheelchair as the space is so narrow, and he can't even fit another chair in the room. The SW just says she doesn't know he was going to be transferred so quickly, and now we have to make the best of it. Do we have any options? He has only ten grand of savings and a small pension, does not own his own home [ he was a vicar FFS - the C of E have let him down completely] . If anyone can advise on whether we can find somewhere that the LEA will pay for which might be more suitable for him [ie bigger room, not majority dementia patients] The place we wanted has no space, but need to search for another place, just don't know how to navigate costs, and don't know what the LEA will pay for. Feel awful for my poor dad.
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Elderly parents
Advice please on elderly father and care home
22 replies
MaggieTulliver1 · 12/11/2017 04:37
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