Parents evening - teacher very negative about my 5 yo... Isn't he just like all 5yo boys? Advice pls on how to turn this around. Quite long sorry...

[leoleosuperstar]

DS is 5 in April and in Reception.

Our first parents evening on Thursday. Teachers comments were:

DS has settled in very well. He seems to enjoy coming to school. Does he?
(We respond that he doesn't want to go to school in the morning but is fine once we get going, think he wants to stay home not a problem with school as such..)

She then continues: DS has made very little progress he doesn't sit still, always figgiting (sp?), biting his clothes, playing with his shoes, putting them in his mouth, distracting the other children... Does he has a problem with his hearing? (no). Sorry I have to be honest but I could stand over him telling him over and over what to do and he still doesn't get it done...(us open mouthed). Well at least he has progressed from Nursery where his report says he would just get up and walk off.

I was so surprised as DS is generally a well behaved child and can be a bit of a day dreamer.

When we asked some questions and said he shows very little interest in picking up a pen or reading at home she said that we need to get him doing painting etc to work on his motor skills and not worry about his fine motor skills...

The only positive thing the teacher said was that DS has made a beautiful valentine heart and it was so good she took a photo for his file (it was lovely - hole punched holes threaded with gold ribbon)

The teacher has said we will have to review in May half term and he will struggle next year.

I don't know what to do now - I feel like I have failed him. We had a chat Friday morning before school asked what good sitting on the mat looked like and he showed us and he then showed us what he does (explaining that his brain makes him move about). We practised what is needed - DS said that the teacher makes him sit on the cold floor and not the mat because he moves about and he doesn't like sitting on the floor because it's too cold.

Spoke to teacher on Friday after school and she said that he was worse than ever!

Any advice?

Thank you

[jessia]

kickassangel can I entice you over to my (similar) thread about my DD1 (6.5) for your opinions, since you seem to be a step ahead? Thread called "Fidgets in 6.5 yo girl" or something similar. Wd be v. grateful. Ta

[fabhead]

dont know if this helps but my 5 year old seems happy at school, reports and parents evening so far have been fine - and he has his shoes on the wrong way round virtually every day when I pick him up! Noone gives a monkeys. Seems like they are over-foucsing on meaningless things to me.

[leoleosuperstar]

Thanks fab - today was another shoe story. DS had done excellently walking to and from an outing and sitting still whilst the other children were messing around so I am really pleased.

[fabhead]

Every day he goes in with the shoes on the right way, every afternoon he comes out with them the wrong way, I make him switch round, he grumbles and says they are more comfortable the other way. This daily discussion goes on in front of the teacher and noone from the school has ever mentioned it. (they do tell him he needs a haircut, presumably so he tells me, which annoys me but that's another story)

his shoes are quite soft leather
moccasin ones which may well be more comfortable the wrong way round, who knows, but it certainly doesn't constrain him or hurt him to so it. He does have some much stiffer ones which are much harder to just slip on and I've noticed that it doesn't seem to hapen when he wears those, perhaps you could do something similar to cross this one thing off the list?

[nickelbabe]

just thinking about the threading thing.

why don't you try teaching him embroidery?

this shop has some large Aida, which is used for cross stitch and embroidery.
when i was at infant school we did a lot of embroidery to improve motor skills and coordination. it's also good for working with colours, shapes and patterns (which is all good for maths foundation)

it's worth a try.

[nickelbabe]

just found this one as well

it's got a spaceship!

[leoleosuperstar]

Good idea regarding the shoes - he has the Lego Kickers with the Velcro scraps which have quite a relaxed shape. They are quite new so I can't really afford to buy a new pair but I will think of this when we get his next pair. It is frustrating because I keep telling him that the Lego pieces should be on the outside...

The cross stitch is an excellent idea - I might take him to Hobby Craft to have a look and choose one to reward his efforts this week. We enjoy making necklaces from wooden beads so I think this might be a good idea.

[SingleMum01]

leoleo - really don't worry to much about the motor skills, he's only little, he'll come on so much in a couple of years you'll be amazed. I don't think the teacher is very constructive, you may find when he has a different teacher things will be different.

[abbaone]

i wouldnt worry!
teachers seem to want to label them early, insecurity of their role?
brightest child with best reading skills in class and now in year 3 and on gifted and talented list (not my child!) sat front row on first week of year in newspaper with shoes on wrong feet!
(wink)

[Bigpants1]

Just come across this thread. Hows your ds doing now? Has he settled a bit?
Have to say, he does sound like he may have ADHD-especially the "my brain makes me move a lot." Time will be a good indicator-if he settles and can concentrate and listen in class,then he just needed extra time to settle in school. If he continues to be hyperactive and it is hindering his learning, then get him assessed-otherwise school will get harder and harder for him, he will get negative feedback from his teacher and peers, and behaviour may
esculate as he becomes unhappy.
Hows the cross-stitch going? I think it may be too fiddly for him and too much fine motor control and concentration! Making necklaces with beads sounds more fun for him, but ready to stand corrected.