going mad trying to choose between 2 schools... please help me decide (very long - sorry)

[elibelly]

I'm going round in circles trying to decide between 2 primary schools for dd who is starting in reception this September, it's driving me crazy and I'm driving my family to drink.... please can you help me make up my mind?

I wanted to send dd private but we can't afford it right now, so I've shelved that idea till 7+ or 11+ by which time I might have discovered a miracle get rich quick scheme.

Needless to say our first choice school (only half a mile away) has a catchment area that requires an electron microscope to see it on the map, so dd's 26th on the waiting list and will probably only get in if hell freezes over. We live in North London, in one borough but on the border of another so I applied to both boroughs and each one has offered us a school, currently I have said yes to both but obviously have to make a decision soon.

School 1:
Pros: Good results, near the top of the league table (about 8th I think), dynamic head, lovely setting big playing field and backs onto woods, great teaching staff with very little turnover of staff. 6 of dd's friends from her current nursery will be starting there in Sept (but none of her best friends), pro-health - good school meals and plans to increase PE, 10% of year 6 leavers go to selective secondary schools (although all had extra tuition according to the deputy head)
Cons: Expanding this year from 2 form entry to 3 form entry, lots of building work going on over the next year or two, would have to drive as too far to walk and too difficult to bus, infrastructure of existing school very cruddy, half hearted approach to uniform, had a slightly chaotic air to it, IT facilities so-so

School 2:
Pros: Across the road from my mother's house, walking distance, dynamic head, very good pastoral care, great IT facilities, very calm place, kids really involved in their lessons when we visited, uniform is important, pro-health - good school meals and lots of PE, promotes self-esteem in the kids encourages involvement in lots of activities outside the scope of the curriculum.
Cons: academically not great - this year at the bottom of the league table (I've been assured this is a blip - they are usually somewhere in the middle) slap bang on the North Circular (big major road), no-one goes on to selective schools when they leave (maybe none of the parents wants to fork out for extra tuition), dd knows no-one else going there (not a big problem as she is very sociable and will make friends quickly).

In a nutshell if I had only been offered one or the other I would have been happy but trying to choose between such different places is proving impossible, like trying to decide between chocolate & cheese.... I'm sure dd will do fine whichever she ends up going to, but I really have to make a decision... which would you opt for - help me please ?!?!?!?

[CheesecakeAddict]

I didn't realise this was a zombie thread 🤦‍♀️

[CheesecakeAddict]

You don't get blips in results. You either have poor decisions run by leadership or the start of a new trend. Pastoral issues should be something all schools are hot on, it may just be, that school 2 has more social issues to contend with than school 1 which makes it more obvious. For me, staff turnover is a huge signal as to what a school is like, I'd look into that with school 2 first and foremost. If staff turnover is big (or increasing year on year) it would be a big red flag that there is more than meets the eye. If people are not happy going to work, they won't do their job as well. Whereas school 1 has that nailed. I've worked in both a very high achieving school and a school which is middle ranked but excellent focus on pastoral and the second school would not be somewhere I'd happily send my own child, so I always take a deep breath in when someone says their school's only redeeming feature is the pastoral care.

[LibraSaint]

Hi, I realise you wrote this 15yrs ago but I'm in exactly the same position near enough....did you choose school number 2 and did it all work out ?

[donnie]

not quite but I taught at Latymer for several years and know a lot of the staff there still. I now work p/t elsewhere but also do some private tuition, including 2 girls who go to Henny Barnett - both of whom are very happy there. My advice is if you can avoid going down the private route for secondary then do so because you don't really get much more for your money IMO. Having said that I also know people teaching at a lot of the other private schools schools mentioned on the other thread who would recommend their particular school. What a minefield! one thing to remember is that Palmer's Green has no 6th form so A levels are out. Lots of girls from there go to Latymer's 6th form.

[elibelly]

After sleeping on it and bearing in mind everyone's comments, I really have more of an inclination to school 2 now. I had a look at their website again and felt warm and fuzzy about them - already working out how I can improve the site for them (school 1 doesn't even have a website!) plus I just got a letter from them inviting dh and I to a new parents evening in June and 2 play sessions for dd to go to in June and July to familiarise herself with the school.

donnie - you must have read my mind - I'm very interested in Latymer or Henrietta Barnett for dd, privite tuition here I come I guess but I won't be alone from what I've heard. Do you live round here too?

[donnie]

school 2 sounds far better IMO.Go on - you know you want to!there is no reason why she would not get into a good state secondary afterwards , you live in an area where she'd be able to get to state ones (latymer etc) as well as private ones - habs and so on.

[Berries]

I would go for school 1, but probably only as it sounds v similar to my dds and they love it there. Whilst I agree that academic success isn't everything, particularly in infant school, I have found my views changing as the dds get older (yr 3 & 4 now), and would worry if the school in general was not 'keeping up' with schools in the area as these are the children my children will be going to high school with iyswim. Only downside for me would be the distance, but quite a few of dds friends have to be driven to school and it doesn't seem to be too big a problem (but we don't live in London)

[elibelly]

twiglett I'm with you on the hell thing, schools applications selections, decisions etc has been my life for the last 2 years almost... and then there's the secondary issue. Are there no good secondaries near you?

[elibelly]

oooh keep it coming ladies, you're really helping, I'm definitely feeling more inclined to school 2 at the moment

[nutcracker]

2 sounds better to me too. We chose dd1's school on the basis of it having doen well in the league tables etc and it still is but we are lucky that it is also a good school in most other areas too.

The school i avoided due to it's bad league tables is now actually ahead off dd1's school and academically has really come on BUT I still wouldnot send her there in a million years because in the last 2 years 6 children have moved from that school to dd1's because of bullying.

As much as i first thought that the school had to be the best academically wise, now i think that the school has to feel right for you and your child and academics scores come very low on my list now.

[muminlondon]

If there are pros and cons about both schools why not go for the nearest - the one you can walk to. It also means your dd can make friends with children who live nearby and visit their houses after school - you wouldn't have to ferry her about as much.

[Twiglett]

personally I am happier to know that any effort I make to help improve the school and facilities will make a difference and be appreciated

its hell this school thing isn't it

(he's only just had his place confirmed but I'm already getting concerned about senior schools and want to start a pressure group to get one built)

[motherinferior]

Twiglett, how interesting - DD1 has just got into only one of the three schools I wanted, and I reckon this one is on the same upward track (have to keep reassuring myself of this, I have to admit )

[Twiglett]

SE London elibelly

There's a good school nearby that I assumed that I would fight tooth and nail to get DS into when the time came

But I think it rests on its laurels to be honest and the office staff are unbelievably rude

at least I know with this school that its on an upwards path and not stagnating (or dare I say disintegrating). DS started in its nursery at 3 and I love it and the other parents there (and its just in the next road up )

[elibelly]

sorry my last comments were about school 2... losing the plot myself there...

...got to go and bath the kids now before they murder each other....

[elibelly]

twiglett - that sounds similar, whereabouts are you? last ofsted was terrible and was 2 months after current head had started... they desperately need a new one, has to be done this year I believe as they aren't allowed to leave it more than 6 years. PTA is thriving here too and they have a parents drop in coffee morning every week which I like, school 1 has a PTA but seem less keen for parents to involve themselves generally

[Twiglett]

apologies for mixed-up paragraph and weird sentence structure - hope you get the gist in amongst the cut and pasted waffle

[Twiglett]

out of interest DS starts school in September

we have chosen a school that was a failing school at last ofsted but got a super-head 3 years ago who has changed the teaching faculty and processes phenomenally. That coupled with involved parents committee and a desire to make it work makes it a lovely thriving enthusiastic place which has just had a fabulous ofsted report to send DS which is seeing a huge demographic turnaround in its student body (ie more reflective of the locality). I doubt any of the graduating pupils are going on to selective schools this year but by the time DS's class is ready to leave I am sure they will be

[lapsedrunner]

Know nothing about current UK system as live abroad with ds (2.8) but I'd go for school 2, "location, location, location" everytime. Walking distance & oposite your Mother sounds fantastic!

[elibelly]

hmm, so far school 2 is slightly ahead, and I agree twiglett about the traffic and my mother

I really appreciate all your comments so far...

[bundle]

no.2 sounds nice

[elibelly]

If it helps both schools were once failing and crap, School 1 got its new head 8 years ago who has turned it around, School 2 got its new head 5 years ago and is turning it around

I agree about academic hothousing at Primary level, it was another thing that put me off private at this stage apart from King Alfreds which was way out of our price range sadly

[Twiglett]

from what you've said I'd opt for school 2 too

I wouldn't worry too much about one year's secondary schools - london schools change year on year

I like the concept of healthy happy children and their 'involvement' in lessons

I wouldn't minimise the hassle of facing london traffic for the school run every day nor the convenience of having your mother living close by

[elibelly]

wangle - you've caught me, drat!!! Cornwall not currently an option, but I've heard it's good for holidays

twiglett - I prefer outings with dd to reading/writing to be honest but am happy to do both

frogs - don't know, might move her if the school she was in wasn't working out, otherwise I'd leave her where she was, what did you do?

I'm in North London near Muswell Hill