Owning a home v paying for private education .. Wwyd?

[Rachelly123]

I've spent the last 2 years getting my life back on track after becoming a single mum to 3 year old dd. My career is going well and we rent a small modest terraced in a nice area.

Dd attends pre school in a local independent school - the cost is the same as other local nurseries so it was a no brainier to send her there.

She is due to start reception in just under 2 years and I am starting to consider primary schools. She has the opportunity to go to another local independent on a 50% bursary- which would mean me paying around £500 per month for the first couple of years (obviously the annual fees increase year on year)

My dilemma is, if I send her to the independent school I will never be in a. Position to save for a mortgage in the future. Meaning we will rent for the foreseeable.
Wwyd? Would you put your child's education first or focus on securing a mortgage?

[Autumnsky]

Finance security first. Provide a stabel and secure life is far more important for both you and your DD. Also, I agree for primary school, you can easily to provide some out of school acitivities to strech your DD. Just think about the fun you can have with DD if you have money, it all need money for theatre trip, museum trip, holiday, eating out etc.

[troutsprout]

And yes.. if she's bright.. she will do well in a state school

[troutsprout]

If she's safe and secure in your own home, you will be putting her first

[noramum]

After i have seen the insecurity of the rental market I would always put money in a house.

Friend rent, they hoped to buy but then he lost his job with two children in childcare causing all savings to be spend, got back on track when suddenly baby no. 3 came along unplanned and now they have to wait another 2-3 years before being able to hope for a mortgage. In the time we know them (8 years now) they are now on house no. 4. The last house they went through incredible stress with annual rent increases an then being told to move out because the owner wanted it for themselves just to sell it 3 months later.

[GinIsIn]

We are in a similar position - we've just bought a house, and have no spare money for private education.

We hope to get our DC into a good primary, will tutor on the side, and try for scholarship at secondary.

[Riversiderunner]

Home ownership, no question. There are brilliant state schools out there - get googling!

[atticusclaw2]

A house is far more important in this scenario. And I speak as one with two DC in independent school. It really isn't worth it at primary level unless you have everything else covered and its really unfair to start in the independent system knowing you're likely to have to move her. Senior school fees will be circa £15k from your taxed income plus uniforms trips etc.

A home is far more important for your child.

[EatonGate]

I'm going to be very controversial and say school fees. We're obsessed with home ownership in this country (compared to the rest of Europe) but the idea that home ownership is completely stable whereas renting is fraught with uncertainty is not quite accurate - if interest rates end up going up to more normal levels with property prices relative to incomes what they are at present you might be glad you stayed renting!

If you do end up moving house a few more times than you would have done otherwise it's not the end of the world - I'd lived in 15 different houses (13/15 rented) by the time I left school but been almost entirely privately educated, and the amazingly supportive and inspiring teachers and learning environment free from any disruptive behaviour (in contrast to my brief experience being at a state school) outweighed any disadvantages of having the removal men in so frequently.

That said, I was geeky and bookish and probably a bit of a teacher's pet - I don't know if the balance would be different for a more well-rounded child!

[Rachelly123]

Thank you for the many replies. It has certainly changed my thoughts and I have done some thorough research in to local primary schools and catchment areas today. Seems the good ones you have to liven within a stones throw and even then there are minimal places available once they have been allocated to siblings etc.

If I am honest my reason for giving serious consideration to independent for primary education was down to the fact that I wanted to carry on what I had started... Dd is very bright and advanced for her age which I had put down mainly to her pre school. However as many have suggested I could send her to a good primary yet spend the money on clubs, and if required tutors in the future, also it would mean I wouldn't need to work so many hours to keep up with the fees giving me to the time invest in her.

[SleepFreeZone]

Also can you imagine the pressure you would be inadvertently heaping on your daughter to go and become a successful adult after her top class education. Life doesn't always irk out as expected even if you get every opportunity. I was doing fine until I was floored by a health condition in my late teens and hat has impacted on my earning potential hugely as an adult. If my parents had sacrificed everything for me only for me to basically fail, my god I can't imagine how terrible id feel right now.

[Chrisinthemorning]

I would go for state school and a house. I say that as someone with a DS at independent school. It's a good school but I wouldn't sacrifice a house for it.

[portico]

portico Sun 16-Oct-16 13:24:44 Have you enough time to move and apply to grammar schools.

I would imagine OP has plenty of time for that as her DD is 3.


It's a fucking non-brainier then.

[AgainPlease]

I'd use the money for school fees. I don't think I'd be who I am today without having gone to boarding school

[RalphSteadmansEye]

House for sure.

My ds is at a private secondary school. I wouldn't pay for private primary as I think it's a waste of money.

And I wouldn't pay for private secondary if it meant not owning my own house.

For us, the choice was okay house in nice area plus private secondary over great house in great area and state secondary. I chose the first.

His school is fabulous. I wouldn't choose to sacrifice owning a house for it. That's his financial future as well as ours.

[MumTryingHerBest]

portico Sun 16-Oct-16 13:24:44 Have you enough time to move and apply to grammar schools.

I would imagine OP has plenty of time for that as her DD is 3.

[portico]

Owning a home is paramount. Make sure it is close. Private fees are crippling. Have you enough time to move and apply to grammar schools. Sorry not checked threads in this post.

[yellowflags]

Buy a house.

1. Ratings are an indication of a school but don't tell you everything. Investigate your local schools now (you can go to the open days being held this autumn for prospective 2017 reception students - many parents look round a year early) and see if any fit your daughter. You still have a year to move if so.
   
2. As pps have said, private schools aren't necessarily better. Be careful about assuming they are - they are under less rigorous observation/ examination than state schools, and often have a less challenging cohort which means teaching standards can be variable.
   
3. Don't underestimate the importance of home environment and financial stability. While your dd is at primary, the things you do at home will be at least as important as what she learns at school.
   
4. Don't mistake the social selection of private school for social mobility. My parents scrimped and saved for my school fees. I'm very grateful but the sad truth is that most of my school friends inherited money in their twenties which has had a bigger impact on our later lives than our school achievements. I plan to save money for dd to spend on a home, or travelling, or more and more education choices later in life. Imo this is more important than private school.

[smellyboot]

House every single time. The biggest factor in achievement is a secure home and supportive parents. What a mess you could be in if you can no longer afford fees and get evicted for any reason and can't find a nice alternative home. You'd then have nothing. State schools on the whole are good and you can help your child to achieve more in any or all arenas if you want. Think about all the clubs she may want to join / sports she may want to take up etc Use your money to buy a decent house/flat in a decent area and enjoy life with your DD

[JoJoSM2]

Often rating is a lot about paperwork and not always the best way to pick a school. Visit local primaries to get a feel for what they are like. Also, you could prioritise getting a house and if you still feel mega desparate for your daughter to go private, you can do it for secondary.

[PikachuSayBoo]

Average doesn't equal bad.

The school my dd goes to is bad. Only 37% of kids get 5x GCSes inc maths and English. I have enough money in the bank to pay for her to go to private school but that's my life savings and im not spending it on private education for her. And I have a house already.

Private education doesn't mean better exam results or a better job.

[PettsWoodParadise]

Not all private schools are great either. A primary offering a major discount sounds like it is desperate to me, but theat could just be my cynical nature. Most schools don't offer bursaries or scholarships until Y3 at earliest, usually Y7. DD started off at an independent pre-reception and thrived and it was an easy route for her to just continue there. It turned out to be a waste of money and it is hard to get a place at a good state school out of the usual round. We did move her in Y3 to a selective independent and she was happier but some of the teaching still mediocre. She is now in a state secondary and I cannot fault the school. Having a stable home has been far more important to us than the school. We even home educated for a while.

[Dragongirl10]

House is far more important, security first.

If l were you l would get on the housing ladder at the first opportunity, (not being too fussy) with a spare bedroom then get a lodger who can pay up to £7,500 tax free, you can share with D/D if neccesary.
That is your easiest start to stability. Most of the lodgers l have had over the years have been lovely, choose carefully though. l only took women lodgers.

My Dcs are in private schools but to be honest l would always have prioritised a house first.
Also in the early years, you can bridge the attainment gap with doing a lot of extra at home, all the neccesary books are found in WHS smith and there are some fab websites that can give you guidance and worksheets.

Good Luck