I come from a grammar school town; there were 2 grammar schools (single sex) and a handfull of failing comps. It was very much pass your 11 plus or dont even bother with education anymore. So much emphasis had been put on these amazing grammar schools that it was generally accepted within the community that bright kids went to the grammar, wasters didnt. Nothing in between and if you really couldnt get your kid into the grammar there was a private school.
Looking back it was odd but until I went to uni I didnt realise that it was okay not to go to a grammar or private school. I thought I was a complete failure. I still have a friend who refers to my not going to grammar all the time. She's mildly impressed by my career (which isnt a stealth boast, long hours/low pay) but she genuinely says "And to think you didn't go to grammar school"
I sailed through the English and failed the maths in 11 plus and still remember where I was when I was told. My parents were devastated. All of my friends went to the grammar. My comp was on David Blunketts list of schools to be shut down as it was failing. It only offered foundation paper maths and science gcses and had no 6th form. After one term the school suggested that I be transferred to grammar at 13.
When I finally went to the grammar school it was awful, me and another girl had been transferred at the same time. We were both new and shy and some of the teachers were openly disparaging about our old school and the lack of standards, which isn't something a child knows how to respond to or understand. I just felt embarassed and ashamed. Looking back one particular teacher was a complete snob and really unprofessional. I didn't stay but the other girl did.
I'm certain that there are much better situations and that not every town with grammars is like mine was, but in my town back then it really created this system of secondary school education at the grammars and well we better open something to keep all the riff raff off the streets until 3.15 for the rest. Our teachers said that we couldnt afford books because the budget was 50p per student per year for everything. We had no funding, no respect, no expectations. It was just a building to scoop up 11 plus rejects.