Not sure the school are listening to me but ds is being bullied.....

[karen288]

Ds is a friendly little boy and apart from the odd falling out incident has never had any real trouble at school. However, recently some new pupils have joined his class (he is 9 btw), from another school in the area. Now suddenly he's coming home upset. Ds has dyspraxia (we think, its not been diagnosed "officially" as such but he has seen occupational therapists and special needs teachers for years who are convinced of this). He does exhibit some behaviour at times that other children may see as unusual, nothing major but a tendency to be in his own little world, forgetfulness etc. It seems that the way he is, although accepted by the other children he's known since reception has made him a target for these new kids. There is no violence as yet, but threats of violence and hurtful name calling. I telephoned his teacher and explained the situation yet felt as though i wasn't "believed". His teacher remarked that he seemed "cheerful enough" and that he hadn't "noticed" anything but assured me that he would make enquiries. Today ds came back from school and told me that his teacher hadn't had a word with him, or the other kids and that the name calling had continued as normal.

Perhaps i'm overreacting but i attended the same school and was bullied also. I told my teacher at the time what was happening but she didn't listen to a word i said, i can only assume this was as the two girls who were bullying me were the best students they had, came from well off families etc etc and didn't seem to fit the image of a bully. The kids who are picking on ds wait until he retaliates (just telling them to "shut up" i think) and then they tell the teacher he is disrupting them and ds gets told off.

It's early days but this has been going on for a while ds tells me, and the new children seem to have "recruited" some of his classmates and former friends into their little gang, at present there are about 7 kids picking on him. He's a very sensitive little boy and i'm sure that insults such as telling him he's "thick" and a "weirdo" (amongst many others) are going to further affect his work (which he struggles with anyway). Possibly, these are the worst insults they could throw at him considering the difficulties he has.

I'm starting to fume about this. Ds is scared of his own shadow and doesnt tell lies, he's never been in any trouble at school and reports always mention how polite and well behaved he is. So why is his teacher believing these other children over him? especially when I'M the parent ringing up complaining.

So if it turns out they arent taking me seriously what should i do next?

[Pottok]

I agree with Katymac and Berries - aim for an early meeting with the head. There are some decent sources of advice on the web, but you'll have to have tried the head first before they'll do much for you.

Also, get DS to an educational psychologist for an assessment (ask one of the Duslexia/Dyspraxia charities for a name if the school does not offer one). This will help in dealing with the school, will help his teacher understand how best to bring him on, and should greatly cheer DS (I'm not thick, I'm dyspraxic).

[Berries]

Put it in writing, copy to the teacher and a copy to the head. Ask to see the anti-bullying policy and ask whether they are following it. Ask for a meeting to discuss it and a follow up appointment after that (say in a week) to see whether the measures are working.
IME schools do very little to stop bullying until it gets physical.
Good luck

[Katymac]

Put it in writing

either to the teacher or the head or the chair of gov.

I only had action taken when I put it in writing

Write nicely not threatening or demanding
They will have to do something

[pretendmum]

Please get in touch with the school and nip this in the bud now. Keep pushing and pushing to get it sorted, find out the anti bullying procedure and expect the school to follow it. If teachers don't give you the required solution go to the governers. You may feel you are making a fuss but it is so much easier to sort out bullying when they are younger and it will make your sons life so much better.
I say this from being bullied and never having dont anything about it, if you have picked up on the fact he is being bullied please please act upon it.

[saadia]

Also ask for a copy of the school's anti-bullying policy.

Very sad to hear of this, can't bear to think of children suffering like this.

[Glassofwine]

Contact the teacher again next week and ask her for an update on how she has dealt with the situation.

[spudmasher]

It's a jungle out there. Some teachers are so under pressure to achieve results that they completely forget about the emotional wellbeing of the children in their class. I see some horrible things as a teacher and it breaks my heart. Some are great at dealing with these things and some cannot see the bleedin obvious.

My advice would be to equip your child with the skills he needs to survive, coupled with keeping on at the school about what is going on. Kids can be so devious and underhand.I am always grateful when a parent brings something to my attention .

Do everything you can to bolster his self esteem in terms of extra activities and praise him all the time.Do some role play to help him think of things to say to the bullies.You are not over reacting. It is every childs right to be educated in a safe and happy environment. I could go on!!!!

[OrmIrian]

Speak to the head? Is he/she more approachable. If you've tried the teacher and she does nothing, you have to go higher.