Boarding school for an 8 year old or awful inner city school?

[tanzie]

Please discuss...

No alternative, such as local private school. It is all (ie boarding) or nothing (school that Oliver Letwin would rather beg than send his children to).

[CountessDracula]

Well my old school did both but is in Hampshire so not so good. Bet there are schools in London that do too.

[CountessDracula]

here is a site that can help you with your search.

[fairyprincess]

Some schools might offer option to board to day school pupils? Perhaps you could get funding that way?

[fairyprincess]

If you're happy were you are - perhaps working parent could commute weekly to London whilst other parent stays put with children. Would only work if one parent was 'stay at home'

[Slinky]

Wouldn't be happy with Boarding personally - DD1 is 8.5yo and in my eyes, she's still a baby. After school, she comes home, then tells me about her day/her worries/concerns/highlights etc - would hate to think of her having a crappy day, then having no-one to confide in.

Can't comment on London schools as I don't live there - but some "bad" schools can manage to turn themselves around in a space of 3 years. A school in a nearby village had an appalling record and was placed in Special Measures. After "borrowing" our Headteacher for a while, recruiting a new one and revamped - the school is now doing incredibly well and everyone wants a place.

[tigermoth]

Agree that in 3 years time, your nearby state primary schools might have improved, so don't give up hope. Visit them with an open mind.

Also, as others have said, have you really looked into private schools that allow day pupils and boarders, and then talked to the people who will be funding your dd's education? That seem the obviouos step to me. What sort of employer would expect you to send your 8 year old to boarding school if other optoins were available?

Sending an 8 year to a boarding school - very hard. I'd consider it only if my child
really wanted it and were a day pupil already so knew the school already. And then only as a temporary thing if we were away for six months, say. Not an arrangement for the rest of their school days, definitely.

Also what happens if you send your dd to boarding school and she tells you a month into it that she is desperately unhappy? Will you and your partner be able to live and work in another country knowing your dd is having big problems? How many 8 year olds really know themselves that well. Even if she is keen to try it, it's a big risk.

Sarf london is a huge area - do you have live in one part of it? can you move to be nearer better state schools?

[ScummyMummy]

Personally, I'd definitely go for awful inner city school over boarding school on a lesser of 2 evils basis. I think the love, learning and time your daughter gets from you at 8 will be even more important than her education in terms of her long-term success and happiness.

As others have said though, it almost certainly won't be as stark a choice as that- there are plenty of state schools in SE London and some are doing just fine. Go and have a look- you may be surprised.

(Just as an aside, I would be v hesitant to use Oliver Letwin's assessment as a sound basis for selecting my child's school, personally. Wtf does an avowed non-considerer of state schools know about it anyway? He's probably never even been inside a SE london state school. His comments were ill considered and clouded by utter ignorance, IMO, and I wouldn't waste time worrying about them.)

[Sonnet]

Hi Tanzie,
I'm sitting here racking my brains trying to think of a "boarding school" that dosn't take day pupils - I can think of many the other way around. My DD's school offers boarding from age 13. Even QE (mentioned earlier) has day pupils.
Unfortunatly I am not at all familiar with London.
Therefore would a compromise be to send them to school as a day pupil with the option to board if it became necessery?
I dohope you sort this out happily for you and your DD

[frogs]

Your debate (as with state v. private schools in general) seems quite polarised. In real life things are not that tidy.

Schools are seldom either 'wonderful' or 'terrible'. Presumably we would all have a cutoff point at which we would not send our child to a local school, but it might be helpful to explore what is driving those fears.

Personally, I would start to get a bit twitchy if my child had no like-minded kids to hang out with, and by 'like-minded' I don't mean white middle-class kids, but children who are compatible in terms of interests and personality. I would also be worried if the atmosphere at the school was so unruly as to be threatening and chaotic.

Apart from those extremes, the only way to make a decision is to invest time looking at different schools, what they have to offer and considering how they might suit your child's personality. You need to look at a lot of schools, as it is the differences that are revealing.

Most private schools have glitzy facilities; most urban schools will have groups of teenagers hanging around trying to look cool and threatening; most inner London primary schools will have lots of kids from tough estates and varied ethnic minority backgrounds, some of whom may not speak English. None of this in itself makes a good or bad school -- you need to look more deeply to make a good choice.

Personally, I'd have to be desperate to send my 8yo to boarding school. But you can't make this decision in principle for a 5 yo. You need to wait, find out about the child's personality and take a long hard look at the potentially available schools nearer the time.

[lydialemon]

Tanzie, by 'north' Lambeth I presume you mean Stockwell/Brixton? I don't have much experience with primary schools down that end, being in south lambeth but I can't believe that they are all that bad. I find that with the schools near us you have to really look behind the Ofsted reports. Low results doesn't mean the teachers/school is crap, we get a lot of kids for whom English is their 2nd (or 3rd!) language - bright intelligent children, but SATs aren't exactly going to be easy for them! Have you got anyone here who you can send to 'investigate' the local primarys?

Failing that, it might be a bit of a journey but there are loads of private preps up this end - Dulwich is packed with them, and you'd be travelling against the traffic! I went to a private girls school in Streatham which has a junior school, there must be others about. Contact The Girls Public Day School Trust, and they can tell you more.

Good Luck!

[marialuisa]

hi tanzie, as someone who is quiet, reserved and went to boarding school from age 8 I'd have to ay a big "don't do it", especially if your DD1 is as you describe. There were 8 year olds at my school who loved it but TBH they usually had older siblings there and "knew it was coming". The "diplobrat" contingent had parents in the really farflung postings and many only saw their parents for 8 weeks over the summer.

I admit that some kids can be happy at boarding school from a young age, i have friends who fit in with thgis BUT their parents could not be described as warm, loving or willing to compromise for their kids' sake. sorry if this offends! As others have said you cannot get the whole story from OFSTED stc. We have local primaries with excellent OFSTED and SAT results near to us, but they are horrible schools. The school Oliver letwin referred to was a secondary anyway...

[michellefromlakeland]

dont do it

I hated boarding
(aged 10)

Bullying rife and neglected by house miustresses

[serenequeen]

there are plenty of good state primaries in lambeth, tanzie, but you will have to pick where you live quite carefully, as you can imagine they are oversubscribed. there are also a number of well-regarded church schools - if that is any use to you religiously or politically.

[tanzie]

LL & ML, thanks. LL - more Lambeth North near the tube station. Have had a look at Ofsted reports. Catholic schools all seem to be out - 100% practising catholic families.

Nearest schools are Walnut Tree Walk, Archbishop Sumners and Charlotte Sharman. Any knowledge? Ofsted reports are all out of date and depressing reading.

[soyabean]

Tanzie I dont know about the other two but Charlotte Sharman certainly used to be very popular and oversubscribed, so it would really be worth going along if you get the chance, to see what you felt about it.

[Blu]

I know lots of people in that area who send kids to Pimlico 2ndry, which has a good rep, doesn't it? Also there are some Lambeth Girls 2ndries that are not too bad: Norwood, and St Martins in the Fields...Dunraven and Graveney are the best mixed, if you could move closer to Streatham...

Lambeth has a huge shortage of 2ndry places, so if you can find a school in a neighbouring borough, it could work.
But as a lambeth resident, i agree: I'd move before sending DS to one of the less successful schools - or, indeed, Boarding School.

[aloha]

If I really couldn't face sending my child to the local primaries I'd move. No way is my - rather quiet and gentle - son going to boarding school at eight.