Relocating to Guildford in April - sorry it is long

[MoshiMoshi]

After spending nearly two and a half years in California, we will be relocating back to the UK and living in Guildford. We previously lived in west London but the schools the children attended do not have any vacancies for them so we decided to look elsewhere.

While Surrey seems to have plenty of great schools it is not straightforward as we have 4 DCs: DS (10 nearly 11), DD1 (8 nearly 9), DD2 (7) and DD3 (4 nearly 5). If you can bear with me, I would be very grateful for advice.

For DS the tricky bit is finding a place for the summer term of year 6 that will then prepare him for entry to a secondary school at 13. He previously attended Colet Court at 7 but having been away for 2 years attending school in California, failed to qualify for re-entry at 11. Children start school much later here and the pace of learning is much slower. We didn't tutor him as he is a straight A pupil here which is probably where we fell down in not understanding the differences in the syllabuses. We are fairly sure a prep school would suit him perfectly and have contacted Aldro, Lanesborough and Cranmore. We have been told that assessments have taken place and are waiting to hear whether there might be an opening at Aldro for year 7 due to places not being taken up. Lanesborough told us to get in touch in April. Cranmore potentially have a space for him in year 6 to start in the summer term. None of this presents anything concrete apart from Cranmore which DH does not want him to attend as it is an RC school (we are CofE) and he has heard bad press about it.

For the DDs the tricky bit is finding a school for all of them. We have been in touch with St Catherine's, Tormead and GHS. Only GHS has openings for all three subject to assessment. They have been v accommodating and have booked us in for this the day before term starts but of course a quick read on here and I am now wondering whether an assessment is fair to the girls given their pace of learning in the US. The girls have dropped back a year to be in the same grade as their peers of similar age meaning things have been repeated and slow. In the case of DD3, she hasn't even started school yet here.

We also have the option of joining the waiting list for Pewley Down and Holy Trinity. I'm not sure whether we would ever move off the list however given how popular it appears to be. Obviously the cost saving is hugely persuasive but I'm not familiar with the schools and whether they would ultimately enable the children to enter a school in the private sector where we would end up sending them with a fighting chance.

1. Can anyone advise on the prep schools for boys? Any thoughts on best approach for a bright sporty boy returning to the UK system?
   
2. Can anyone advise on the best course of action for the girls? All are bright although have not been taught as much living in California. DD3 hasn't attended school yet although is very capable and can identify numbers 1-10 and count upwards of 20 and read some words. DD2 is a prolific reader and very conscientious. DD3 is very creative and strong visually (er, read not great at maths) and all are emotionally mature having been to 3 different schools here in the US as we have moved around.
   
3. Would the state option present advantages (other then the obvious financial one)?
   
4. WTF should I do as there is nothing concrete to go on?
   

If you have got this far, I cannot thank you enough. And if you have any words of wisdom, I promise to take you for a coffee when I am back in the UK!

[inthename]

Cranleigh has its own prep school which might give you a further option.
St Johns and Epsom require early registration and pre test in year 6 as they're getting really over subscribed.

[MoshiMoshi]

I'm fairly sure the teaching here is what has put him back. He tested at high school level but they wouldn't put him any higher a grade than 2 years above his age as they worried about the social aspects of being so much younger. The teaching has therefore been a bit static for him. I'm confident a two year stint in a prep will get him back on track but we will of course keep our options open other than focusing on RGS. Likewise with the girls we are going to apply to PDHT as back up and follow up with some of the very helpful leads from posters here. Thank you so much again everyone.

[MoshiMoshi]

Forgot to add you all sound so lovely I hope to meet some of you eventually when we do land in the UK and get settled in schools. Your advice has been constructive and useful and I'm grateful for every bit of it.

[reddidi]

You are aware that for 13+ entry to nearly all the schools mentioned, including RGS the main selection is by an assessment (test/headmasters report/interview) in Y6 (i.e. the year ending August 31 in which he has his 11th birthday), and that in most schools these tests have already happened for entry at 13+ in 2016 (RGS was on 11 January)?

Some schools (e.g. Eton) have scholarship assessments in the year of 13+ entry which do not require the initial Y6 pre-assessment, but these are very competitive and if you don't get a scholarship you don't get a place.

All this information is available on Senior School web sites, I suggest you start ringing round immediately as most schools' deadlines for acceptance is about now and they will be working their way through waiting lists.

[MoshiMoshi]

Thanks for the reminder, reddidi. Yes, I must get cracking on with contacting secondary schools about late applications.

Does anyone have any first hand experience of George Abbot? This may sound silly but an ex-BF of mine went there and I can't seem to disassociate him from it.

[RandomInternetStranger]

For the love of Elvis if you value family privacy and pastoral care at all DO NOT send the girls to GHS! Academically they are incredible, can't deny that, but in every other way - ie every IMPORTANT way they are abysmal.

Tormead have just as good results without the pressure and snobbery and interference. St Caths is good but always aware they churned out the Made In Chelsea town bike so that puts me off! Manor House is good? To be honest all the schools round here are good, the state ones included. Burpham, George Abbott etc.

I don't know much about the boys schools as I have no experience of them but I know the GHS mums choose Cranmore over Lainsborough and I've heard the latter isn't great.

[MoshiMoshi]

What gives you that impression, RIS? Have you had experience of them failing on the pastoral side of things? Abysmal is quite a strong word to use. Having had a read back of old threads for every view that says they are terrible, there is one that says they are fabulous. It is so hard to determine things from abroad it is clear I just need to visit and see what we think.

I have heard great things about Tormead but they only have one place for DD3 in September. I am wondering whether Cranmore should be looked at more closely as it has an opening for summer term year 6 which is just what DS is after...

[mummytime]

I have experience of George Abbot and think it is a very good school. Despite its size it cares about its pupils and does look after them.
I have been very impressed by how it has dealt with some low grade bullying (nasty name calling - dealt with straight after a phone call from me, swiftly and firmly, and deal with any consequences).
It also has some very impressive results for a school which is comprehensive (it does have children attending from the local council estates so is not just a "leafy" school).

If you are interested in RGS etc. then I would contact them direct and use your just returning from the US card. They have been known to be flexible/helpful in such situations.

[inanimate]

OP don't write off the RGS and do ignore sniffy comments concerning your son's ability. The Head and The Admissions lady are very approachable and encouraging and really stress it is potential they are looking for. Your ds would have two years and a term in a prep to get back up to speed. There is also a 12 plus exam, or used to be, for those who they felt needed an extra year of maturity, so worth asking what this would entail. I got the impression the school is keen to have boys from all different sorts of schools and backgrounds rather than only the traditional prep and state 'feeders'. Colet Court only takes a handful at 11 plus (or it did when we investigated a while back)and Westminster only 20- 28 and Kings Wimbledon only 15 or something) whilst City of London boys only has 50-60 places as they have already filled 40 at 10 plus, so your ds will have been up against hordes of kids locating and relocating from all over London and indeed Europe and beyond (see current threads on London girls' schools) Good Luck. Re the girls can their current teachers email some sort of reference for them highlighting their abilities?

[sixlive]

GHS does look at potential especially with those girls coming from state schools or abroad but the standards are very high. There are no in year admissions to my knowledge at GHS. Cranmore are taking girls into preprep from September. At GHS the boys school of choice is the Lanesborough due to connections with RGS, seen as more nurturing than Cranmore and most importantly proximity (guildford school traffic us dreadful). Lanesborough is selective at 4+ unlike Cranmore and is currently very popular so is tricky to get into. Recently not many Cranmore boys have got into RGS.

[MoshiMoshi]

Can anyone tell me more about St Hilary's please? They tell me they can take all three DDs. Thank you for the reassurances too. I'm trying to remain level headed (but realistic) about things and you are very kind to help out it all into perspective.

[MoshiMoshi]

Grr, keep it all in perspective that should have said.

[BeckAndCall]

Sorry, but I'm not letting randoms comments about GHS go unchallenged. Both of my girls go to/ went to GHS and I think their pastoral care is excellent - dont have time to give examples right now and I've no idea what you're talking about on privacy - this may be a specific instance of yours but its not something I recognise. oP don't go on this one comment from one poster.

[RandomInternetStranger]

BeckandCall I'm glad you had a good experience with them but I know a few families who have been seriously detrimentally affected by their interference and one family which was entirely ripped apart. If you are "different" in any way and don't fit their ideal mould they go on a mission to force you to confirm through threat and draconian intervention and can't accept any other viewpoints contradictory to their own. Plus they expect every aspect of a family's life to revolve around the school and they push the girls far too hard. I was told my 5 year old was behind because her reading age was ONLY 8.5, not 9.5. There's more to life than school and why on this god given earth does any 5 year old need a reading age of 10?? I'd have been happy if they'd said her reading age was 5. If your family is in any way unconventional or has any kind of wobbles or issues do not go to GHS. I know a number of families who have ended up in divorce courts because they cracked under the pressure of the girls being at that school. Life is hard enough. No one needs 15 A*s at GCSE.

[DalmationDots]

I had a girl go right through GHS from 4 to 18 and agree with Beck, Random's comments seem alien to me and so far from what I experienced.

My DD needed a LOT of pastoral care as we went through a horrific time during DD's time there. DD received so much support above and beyond what I'd ever expect. She was seen pretty much weekly by her year head just to check up on how she was and the school arranged additional support for her specific to her needs. They were incredibly approachable, caring and sensitive. I cannot fault them and my DD is very lucky to have been at GHS when she was going through her darkest days. One of the things GHS did do was encourage my DD to know there was no 'norm' and every girl was very much accepted for who they were, found like-minded friends and was celebrated by the rest of the year group - this attitude was very prevalent at my DDs U6 leaving do. I really cannot praise the pastoral side enough and often feel GHS don't sell this as much as they could.

I think it is important to avoid talking about a specific case and that in itself would be unfair on a family who you say have been through a lot already but one thing I think may be the issue here...
Perhaps random you aren't aware of child protection procedures and that it is the schools duty to report concerns to SS/Police, they absolutely must do something about it. It is often then relatively out of the schools hands and they are often guided by outside on how to deal with things. I think often people forget private schools are under the same duties as state schools because CP issues are not usually as prominent within them. I am sure a state school would do things in the same way.

Similarly, the reading age is nonsense to me, my DD was never pushed to that extreme and, more importantly, never felt pushed. It is an academic environment with very intelligent girls, but IMO no pressure comes from the school, pressure comes from being in a class with very bright girls all wanting to do well and work hard. DD was never top but I instilled in her that she was doing well and that what is important is that she does her personal best.

I agree that DD only suits the right type of girl, but for that girl it can be perfect and provide an incredible education. My DD and her friends all came out ambitious, quietly confident and able to learn and work, but more importantly they had very strong friendships and knew how to have fun. It is a balanced school

I also disagree with the Cranmore over Lanesborough comment - I know lots of girls with brothers at Lanesborough, and lots with brothers at Cranmore. The two are good in different ways and it depends what you want. For us, it was Lanesbrough and it was fantastic and just the right school for our (at the time) geeky, quiet but enthusiastic DS. He went onto RGS and had a wonderful time.

[DalmationDots]

Sorry pressed send too early...

I think it is very unfair and ridiculous to attribute divorces to GHS!!!
And all girls in my DDs year did the standard 9 or 10 GCSEs, the school actually discouraged any more and they had to go to a meeting if they wanted to do 10 to talk through how they would balance that with other things including generally having a break and time to relax.

[hatchypom]

Notre dame in cobham? On the a3 so doable from Guildford. Catholic though

[RandomInternetStranger]

Again DalmatianDots if you had a good experience with them I'm glad for you but that's not the experience I and many others have had. When I speak to anyone not in the school community and mention my DD goes there they all unanimously get this same look on their face and I can see why now. Sending DD will always be the biggest regret of my life. And it's not me blaming the school for divorce, my divorce was before DD started there, it's other couples who have divorced since. I'm not going to comment on Child Protection issues but all I will say is it is amazing the power a good reputation and name can give you when you want it to work to your advantage, I mean you could say anything without any evidence and get away with it when you have a record like theirs. They have this attitude and the parents seem to buy into it that families should be grateful for them taking on their poor unfortunate little girls who clearly would never go anywhere in life without them, like the families owe them somehow and they are the ultimate authority in all areas. I've seen parents upset about something the school has done but refusing to address it out of fear of what the school could do, actually heard a mother say she was "scared they would ostracise her and exclude her daughter" if she complained or stood up to them! That's not how a parent should feel and they seem to forget these parents pay the school staff's wages, they are paying for a service, not a privilege. Look, if I and the others I know are a minority and you are happy with them, great, but I don't think anyone should be under any disillusion that there aren't major failings there sometimes. If the OP feels GHS is for her then that's her decision, I'd just ask her to err on the side of caution and never tell them anything about home life or any problems.

[DalmationDots]

I am just questioning your experiences because compared to my own experiences, and based on others I know with DDs there currently or when DD was there, your comments are incredibly out of character compared to what I've heard and experienced. I would certainly be telling the school of home life issues because our own experience, and others, was that the school was unfailingly supportive. I never felt unable to raise concerns e.g. about teaching if something wasn't going well and I never had anything other than a concerned, thankful reply and the issues were followed up, dealt with and checked up on afterwards.
I understand we all have different experiences and I am glad the OP is seeing that there are many sides to GHS (and all schools). No school is perfect and of course there is the odd thing about GHS which isn't amazing, but your experiences seem very much in the minority and strike me as extreme. Perhaps it is a year group issue where a few things haven't been dealt with well or angst among parents has led to a different atmosphere.
I hope you have brought up your concerns with the school and move your DD if your experiences are as you say they are, they genuinely would welcome and be concerned about such comments and want to change things.

[BeckAndCall]

Now that you've given more information, random I can again say I do not recognise from my experience, or any of my DDs friends, the issues you are talking about.

I'm sorry it wasn't the right place for your DDs - but there are very few girls who leave in any year so there is a good indication that girls are happy there.

And as for major failings, they are inspected on a regular basis just like any other school and none were found last time.

Again, I don't want to get into specifics about my DDs or their friends, but to suggest there are lots of unhappy parents, and serious failings, is majorly exaggerating or extrapolating from your own poor experience.

Visit yourself OP ( whenyou come over) and make up your own mind. Its not for everyone but it is the right place for lots of happy high achieving girls.

[DalmationDots]

I think Beck is coming from the same stance as me and replying for the same reasons. What you report of your experience is VERY out of character and not in any way in line with the normal experience. It does not fit for us with the positive, down-to-earth and caring atmosphere of GHS, hence we are shocked and feel an urge to point out this is not the norm!

It just doesn't sit right with me that this is a realistic or fair promotion of what GHS is like, as Beck says 'to suggest there are lots of unhappy parents, and serious failings, is majorly exaggerating or extrapolating from your own poor experience'

When OP comes over she can make her own mind up, as both Beck and I have said 'for the right child' it is a great school.

OP- I have heard great things about St Hilarys especially with regards to getting them into the right senior school for them. It is a traditional girls prep, very cosy and positive but also innovative and not stuck in old fashioned ways.

[RandomInternetStranger]

Maybe it is just a year thing, I hope so or I am very worried for the hundreds of girls passing through their gates, but when parents actually atribute divorce to the school and say they are too scared to complain to the school and have given the headmistresses unflattering nicknames then that to me says there is a major issue. I've seen other websites with bad reviews of them too. DD will be out of there the second that she says she's not happy, as it is she loves her friends and doesn't want to leave them, but she's never said she likes the school or teachers or work. However the position the school have put us in at the moment it would be unwise to go against them again for a while so unfortunately I have to keep paying for a foul "service" from them. OP by all means check it out for yourself. Just don't get sucked in by the overly saccharine & exaggerated false "Oh my goodness girls, that was just marvelous, amazing, wonderful, fabulous, aren't we just the best again, parents another round of applause for our very hard working staff and girls for that marvelous performance, just wonderful" in a pitch usually only dogs can hear, after every single speech, performance, exhibition and award - more fake than their oh so warm smiles and handshakes. Thank goodness there are no performances this week, I don't think my morning sickness would be able to hide my feelings about that predictable song and dance after every show at the moment.

[RandomInternetStranger]

www.information-britain.co.uk/reviews.php?place=24182

Just another review on them. As everyone has said, they're not for everyone and if this one is a girl she's going to Tormead!

[mummytime]

There is no such thing as a perfect school!
I have heard horror stories about Tormead too. I know happy well balanced girls at most local schools, sorry OP I actually don't know anyone at or has been to St Hilary's, so I can't comment really.

[MoshiMoshi]

Thank you all and I hope I haven't opened up a can of worms. I'm very grateful for your thoughts and also I forgot to say thank you for the comment about George Abbot. So much to digest!