boarding

[sloppyjoe]

So. We are about to sign up for full boarding (2015 entry).
I have 18months to get used to it, but what would your top tips be?
DS will be going at age 13, having never boarded before!!!

[Kenlee]

ha ha I know what you mean about the latest stuff ....airbook pro...in my daughter school seem the must ...they all have the iphone 5 in its different guises ...

[JenniferClarissa]

The only problem with the HM option for money was that DS's HM would just dish it out whenever DS wanted cash, so he'd run out a few weeks into term. Although it was a useful lesson (we didn't usually top-up, unless DS was seriously missing out), we've found the weekly bank transfer more helpful to DS's budgeting skills.

Be prepared for some of the other boys in the house to have the latest, most expensive, phone/laptop/ipad/ipod/speakers you name it, they have it. DS went through a bit of an phase, along with at his stuff/our means (which do not allow us to buy all that stuff for him), but got over it.

[happygardening]

Most schools don't like children to have very much money on them, try to find out if they expect your DC to have a bank account or in the early years give money to your HM who they then go too to get money from. The former is obviously the best because you can easily transfer money into it on the internet, do make sure your DS can use a cash point machine and his debit card in a shop.
Don't send nice and often expensive jumpers etc unless your DC is careful and knows not to send them to the main laundry.
If your DC is expected to wear a suit for chapel etc M and S is the best place to get children's suits especially in the sale!

[JenniferClarissa]

I read on here once so it must be true that labels have to be sew-on rather than iron-on because if they peel off clothes they can get stuck in the filters and break the school's industrial washers/dryers. The poster said that it had happened to a friend of theirs who had been charged vast amounts of money for washing machine repairs by the school.

Disclaimer - believe what you will on Mumsnet - it's a good story anyway .

[MABS]

No not for clothes, they must be sew on. Dd used lots of ticker ones on her belongings- pencil cases, tuck box etc :)

[Kenlee]

I second the sew on labels.....Dont use the iron on ones they are starting to fall off. O and try to get the labels made of soft silk or cotton...Then wont irriate the skin.

If you live close by then there is no need to bring to much clutter to the school. leave it at home. My daughter has a full room off stuff at her Grans..

Trainers I would buy one set for gym indoor (non markinh) and one outdoor and football boots... I bought hockey boots and now she has joined the school football team have to buy footy boots.

Bedsheets try to buy quality they last longer and are more comfortable for her to sleep on. (btw quality does not mean expensive.... look around for bargins)

We found buying from the official uniform provider easier than walking around the street for something similar. We are Chinese so we prefer to conform to the school kit list. Although I have now heard from other parents that the Second hand shop is very good.

[happygardening]

DS's school states no stick on labels only sew on [groan smiley] so do check before you order a couple of thousand! You usually have to order enough to give a handful to the natron as well
Don't rush out and buy too much kit in the beginning most big boarding schools have shops on site or up the road and your DS usually has some sort of account so let him see what's required then buy it as he needs it. Also most schools have good second hand shops. At the end of the first yr we had three virtually pristine zephyrs, and a school hoodie hardly ever worn, a waste of money.

[MABS]

stick on labels with his name on, lots of! we always buy champagne for Christmas gifts.

[derektheladyhamster]

I would actually suggest taking the minimum to begin with - It's much easier to keep your room tidy if you don't have too much stuff. It'll keep you on the right side of Matron!

[grovel]

Nobody gave Christmas presents to my DS's housemaster etc at Eton. The school bill had "Staff tips" as an extra for the house cleaners, kitchen staff etc.

Mind you, the leaving present was fairly lavish.

[happygardening]

We do a reasonably priced bottle of wine for the HM, flowers for his wife and chocolate for the matron who manages to stay remarkably thin! In total no more than about £25. I personally don't bother with tutors etc because they are not key figures in my DS's school life, nice as I'm sure they are, but in other schools tutors in particular might be important and thus you might feel a present for them is also a nice gesture.

[JenniferClarissa]

Not much to add but would second the idea of labelling EVERYTHING which goes to school as that increases the chances of it coming home again, especially if your DS is as disorganised as mine.

Also, we were encouraged to leave a term's worth of pocket money with the HM, for DS to take as he needed it. We've found it less tempting for DS to set him up with a bank account/debit card and transfer a set amount each week instead of being able to blow the lot at once. Also, if your DS can sign for things (e.g. snacks at break time) to go on the school bill at the end of term, agree a weekly limit with him and the school.

Even though DS had boarded at prep, it was a big step up to go to senior school - they have to be organised, get themselves to the right place at the right time with the right stuff, find their way around and work out their place in the pecking order socially, in sport and in lessons. To start with DS and his fellow house mates seemed to spend a fair bit of their free time sitting in their studies, while we mothers were wondering why they weren't knocking on each others' doors and being more sociable with each other . By the end of the first half term they were all settled and sorted, and have made great friendships.

[ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy]

Hah! I darkly suspect some parents of proffering First Growths and private island vacations....

[Kenlee]

We bought chocolate.....

[Berkeley2000]

Happy Gardening
What is considered appropriate spend on Xmas present for boarding House staff 9SM, Matron, resident tutor?
Thanks

[summerends]

Icancount the school will be well used to getting teenage boys up so that should n't be a concern for your DS . Keeping track of belongings, what needs to be washed and organised packing are useful skills though.
TBH it is such a long time away, the DC at the end of year 8 are very different from the start of year 7 (stating the obvious now]. If he is excited now, he will be more than ready at 13 even if he initially feels homesick.

I agree with Sthing about him consolidating his local friendships. It is a bonus to have strong local friends during the holidays and will help ensure more longterm that his friendships and social horizons are n't limited to his boarding school

[Mutteroo]

Try & embrace it fully & not see it as a bad thing but an experience which WILL give your child so many life skills & a certain amount of independence from you. You may not like some of the changes you see in your child, but I could say that about both my DC. (DD was a day pupil, DS boarded).

It might be handy to have another parent of an older pupil to link up with & some schools operate a parental buddy system. It's worth asking about this & also encourage DS to talk with others in his school who will be attending the same boarding school. DS said it was good to have moral support from others & even though these were not the greatest of friends, it helped to know others understood his worries as they had them too. I would also suggest you get to know your DS's housemaster & talk to him about any concerns or questions you may have. Ditto the labelling everything rule. I also used yellow cotton & stitched a dot in DS's clothes after being told that sometimes the labels are removed by others. You'll always know if you've got a secret ID system built in. Didn't do this with socks though as life is too short to worry about them!

Best of luck to your DS & you OP.

[MillyMollyMama]

My DD boarded from age 11 at her senior school and she was the only one from a state primary. If a child really wants to board, they will make the most of it. We were not allowed to be in touch every day! Settling in period equalled no phones, but each school is different. They will, however, want to try and avoid chronic homesickness! It is a whole new world and it will be great.

Label every belonging, be on time, go to events at school as much as you can, take plenty of clothes, (more than they suggest), do a residential holiday scheme next summer if he has never boarded.

[Icancount]

Thanks Berkeley - that's really good to know.
I am a bit nervous socially, but it's great to hear your ds is doing well.
I am sure my ds will want to join in with as much as he can fit in! He is still so excited, and has started setting his alarm clock in the morning rather than rely on me waking him up in preparation!!!

[Berkeley2000]

SloppyJoe.
my son started at R this year, never boarded before and came from a state school. he has taken to it like a duck to water, embraced everything the school has to offer and made good friends. Your son will be ready too. Well done to him and good luck to you both, ignore all the comments, you know best what is right for your son, no one else.

[derektheladyhamster]

Make sure he can change his own bedding!

[summerends]

with candles for him. Fantastic!

[happygardening]

You will quickly judge how key your HM is. At my DS's school he is the most significant person but at other schools there are tutors etc who are equally important. But in the event of a personal problems at home e.g. divorce etc you must tell him at the very least he can diffuse the information to other relevant staff.

[sloppyjoe]

I am so proud of him. And pleased for him too. He has actually achieved more than 'just' a Wardens Place, but that is not for a public forum!!!!!

[summerends]

Sloppy, if I am guessing right many congratulations to your DS for the Warden list place. He obviously feels it is the right place for him and therefore will positively embrace all the opportunities there which boarding allows.