Is private education really worth the cost?

[peanutbuttersarnies]

This is a genuine question. Sorry it's such a open question but I have no experience of private schools. And i just dont know. But I've started to wonder if we should send our two ds.

We can easily afford the costs per month based on our current salaries.

I've worked out that private education for both would be about £300k. With this money we could save and give them a deposit for a house. Or buy a property when they go to uni for them to share as their first property. So private education would need to be pretty amazing.

Dh and I were both state educated and nobody we know was privately educated. Our schools were I would say good at primary and average at secondary.
Dh thinks our dc will be state educated, it's just never occurred to us to use private education. I mentioned the possibilty the other day in front of my pil's and they seemed shocked that we'd consider
The local schools to where we are now are similar to the ones I attended myself, perhaps slightly less good.
One thing that is making me wonder about private education is that I wasnt all that happy at my secondary. I was sporty, but sport wasn't encouraged or cool. And I think private schools might be nicer places to be?

[Bonsoir]

Why would parents shell out £££ for private school if it didn't offer more than a free state school? Parents are stupid...

[lottieandmia]

Bonsoir, yes in a private school you tend to get more subjects and activities - but some children might have done as well academically and emotionally in state school, by which I mean GCSE results etc. I know quite a few people who did very well at state school and went on to Oxbridge or had a great career.

[lottieandmia]

As I said, the main advantage is smaller class sizes. That's what you pay for imo.

[losingtrust]

It sounds silly but some parents just like the posh uniform!

[lottieandmia]

It's not just about what you learn academically though, it's the school ethos that shapes what you are going to do when you leave and how you feel about yourself.

[losingtrust]

Lottie. That is why I choose the state school as the private ones I looked at were just GS training academies with a bit of swimming thrown in and the emphasis on academia seemed far more the prime objective at the private school which was not for me but each to their own.

[MomOfTomStubby]

'posh uniform'?

Blue shirt and grey trousers from Tesco. Badged jacket from school shop £80.

We don't all wear boaters and tails :)

[losingtrust]

Sign of a good school that they don't worry too much. I refused to put my ds in a blazer at 4 like the schools near us. Oh and they all have boaters even though it is 2013.

[lottieandmia]

My dd has to wear a boater - I really resent having to pay out for a silly impractical hat that gets bend out of shape easily and serves no purpose. The new head of the school wanted to do away with boaters but the parents complained about it

[exoticfruits]

I think it is such a shame that small DCs have to wear all the gear that they can't get away with on older DCs these days because they 'look cute'.
They could have a dressing up box-take a photo on the first day and then get down to wearing something practical, easily washable and easy to manage.

[Whatalotofpiffle]

I loved it I was super geeky so found I fitted right in and was supported

[Zigster]

Bonsoir: "Why would parents shell out £££ for private school if it didn't offer more than a free state school? Parents are stupid..."

Surely the question being asked here is not whether it offers more but whether the extra is worth the enormous financial outlay?

For very wealthy who wouldn't notice a few thousand a month, it probably is worth it - what do they have to lose? The lower the level of income, the greater sacrifices which have to be made and then the question does become whether the approx £250k cost per child of private education could be better/more enjoyably spent elsewhere.

I'm happy to accept that private schools offer more than State schools (although I know this isn't a truth universally accepted) but I would have to (and currently do) economise on holidays to afford it and defer some non-essential renovations around the house. I'll probably also have to defer retirement for a few years.

In addition, I'm stressed about being able to continue to afford private education - it would be difficult for all the family to be forced to move the kids in, say, 5 years time if I lost my job and had to take one with reduced salary. Or if the current trend in my industry continues of fixed base pay and reducing bonuses (coupled with forever increasing school fees). Would my children benefit from less stressed parents?

But that's just me - others might be more or less concerned about these points.

[greenformica]

Move to an area with really lovely state schools?

[teacherwith2kids]

I'm with Zigster, in that the answer to the question seems to me to depend on the family, the schools involved (both private and state alternatives), thc child, and to some extent the local community.

If a family has a sufficiently high income that the cost of private school does not entail significant sacrifices (e.g. simply that holidays are scaled back or cars not updated as often), then the additional benfit of the private school dores not have to be very large to be 'worth it'. However, if the sacrifices are very large (e.g. risking losing a house, not leaving enough money for food), then there is almost no degree of additional benefit that makes that sacrifice 'worth it'.

Equally, there are schools where the difference between the state and private options is vast, and therefore the private option more 'worth it'. Faced with the choice between the worst school in my neighbouring town vs Winchester, then the private option is worth it. Faced with the choice between my local private secondary and the local comprehensive (which gets the better results of the two), then the private option is not.

Equally, if a private school is the only way of getting your child something that they need - a minority sport, say, or a particular subject, or simply the chance to be away from a specific peer group - then that might be worth more to you than if the child would in reality take advantage of exactly the same options in both schools (I mean, the private school may have a fantastic drama hall ... but if your child has no interest in or aptitude for drama, and is in fact a keen footballer while the private school does rugby, then the advantage of the private schools' additional facilities TO YOUR CHILD is nil).

Finally, the local environment plays a part. My town has, for example, outsatiding community facilities for many sports, for drama and also for dance - e.g. for the latter, gifted childrendo not use 'in school' facilities but take classes in the community dance schools. In other areas of the country - for example where we used to live - such facilities are ONLY available within private schools.

[MrsFrederickWentworth]

I'm with zig and teacher too, and we were/are in one of those quandaries. Ds is dyslexic but articulate and,was branded stupid or idle because his primary did not bother to dx him despite me asking (pushy mc mum syndrome). Local school dire, and I mean that, failing school for 20 years. All the rest over subscribed and he wouldn't get in.

Therefore private. Decided against Winchester, who were prepared to take a risk on him, because he didn't want to board and was seriously ill, so local private.

I do regret the winchester decision on one level, but our car is already only fit for scrap atm and the financial pressure would have been considerable.

Current school has done wonders dxing that there was an issue within 2 days of arrival and being really supportive. So a compromise really worth doing. But if he had got into one of the really good local schools, which would have meant is moving, he might have done as well.

[BoffinMum]

I've used both sectors for my kids, taught in both sectors and attended both sectors.

I would say that in a lot of cases it's not really worth the kind of money schools are charging these days, unless there's a particular reason, such as the only other state option being completely unsuitable, needing extras such as boarding or extended days that you can't get locally, or a child being very musical or needing ballet training, and needing copious timetabled opportunities for practice.

Otherwise I actually think the state sector currently has the edge for a lot of children.

[musu]

lottie I'm not surprised that parents didn't want to get rid of the boater. I see a child every day I do the school run. She wears a straw boater. I have no idea which school she goes to but I know from her hat that it is private. Just like stripey blazers. To some parents it matters that others know which school their dcs go to.

[happygardening]

Years ago DS1 spent a short period at a horrible pushy little prep the head proposed a complete uniform change. Two parents rather than complaining that they'd just shelled out a considerable sum for the current uniform and were being expected to do it again 4 months later were mainly concerned that when they took their DC's to Sainburys after school that other parents would be able to instantly recognise that their children were privately educated.

[namelessposter]

Depends on the area and the quality of local schooling. We're in central London and the answer for us is yes. If many rural areas, quite possibly the local primary is great and you can save your pennies.

[HabbaDabba]

at all the snobby parents/snobby uniforms comments.

Ladies. If the parents can afford £30k plus pa fees then I suspect that impressing their fellow Sainsbury shoppers is not top of the list of things that they obsess over.

Also, MN is full of rants about the school imposing a uniform policy that is unpopular with parents. So I'm a bit about the post where the parents overruled the HT decision to get rid of boaters.

[lottieandmia]

'To some parents it matters that others know which school their dcs go to.'

Really?? How odd

[lottieandmia]

HabbaDabba - what I said is true, I don't have any reason to lie

[HabbaDabba]

Sorry Lottie. I didn't mean to call you a liar. The smiley was probably more appropriate.

[lottieandmia]

It's ok - what happened at our school was that the head was new and she proposed a complete uniform change but she agreed to consult with parents about it throughout and listen to their views. So I think she just asked if we could do away with the boater and most people said no.

The new head came at a time when a lot of people were leaving the school and since the uniform change lots of new people are enrolling their child (the old uniform was very old fashioned). I have spoken to people who actually said the old uniform put them off.

[Zigster]

I confess I've come to the same conclusion as BoffinMum - i.e. the extra cost of private education isn't worth it. I look at our local State primary and about the only differences I can see are smaller class sizes (which can actually be a double-edged sword) and more emphasis on sports (which is easily fixed outside the private sector by using lots of after-school clubs).

But I am currently feeling quite negative towards the pre-prep my DSs attend so it's likely that my view is at least partially clouded by that negativity.