Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

1 2 3 4

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Education

Please suggest a school in/around london for a quirky, inelligent bullied 10 year old I need to move him NOW!

78 replies

thecamelsback · 31/01/2011 22:16

I won't bore you with the full details BULLYING has wrecked his life for the past 2 1/2 years at a very academic selective prep in West London.

My poor DS now believes everyone hates him and he is suicidal. I have to move him ASAP.

Please can I have your suggestions - he is very bright, particularly in maths and science - but having had the experience he has I am not particularly seeking an academic school, just one that teaches to the individual level as I don't want him to be bored or compare a new school unfvourably with the old and feel he has failed IYKWIM.

Pastoral care is our absolute highest priority, as he needs to be nurtured and with over 2 years of exclusion under his belt he needs help with socialising. Small class sizes, boys or co-ed. We are in central/west london and are willing to travel or will consider schools outside of London which provide a bus service.

Basically we will consider anything to get our happy little boy back.

I'm not sure where this will get the most answers, should I post under another topic?

OP posts:

Report

thecamelsback · 07/02/2011 20:43

snap i have replied to your message - thank you!

OP posts:

DaftApeth · 08/02/2011 17:12

Ds had a rugby match against Notting Hill Prep today.

They all seemed a nice bunch of boys and the parents were very friendly (including the famous dad who was there )

I know that doesn't help an awful lot, Camel, but can't hurt to hear anecdotes like this!

Hope your search is being fruitful.

thecamelsback · 08/02/2011 18:54

thanks daft you are right any anecdotes/info give an insight......NHP has many famous parents, so i hear!
I have appointments to see 3 schools over the next couple of weeks, I am very hopeful as all have places though not all of them immediately. I will keep you informed and thanks again for all the help, info and support on here

OP posts:

ted1 · 10/02/2011 21:47

Not able to advise on schools in your area. However, would like to offer some support. 2 years ago we were in exactly the same position as you and the bullying was having a terrible effect on DS and our family life. Made the decision to move him and have never looked back. He is now happy and confident with a good group of friends. My only regret is we did not do it sooner. I would recommend going for as many differnet after school activities as you can possibly fit in to boost his interests, self esteem and have a wide circle of friends. Now DS is away from the bullies, when we look back I can say that the bullying has helped DS to be more caring and empathetic towards people but he has also learnt to stand up for himself aswell. I really wish you luck.

thecamelsback · 10/02/2011 22:29

ted1 thank you so much, it is so good to hear success stories. Its great to hear how well the move worked out for your DS. I do worry that we will move him and it will be the same or worse - I don't know if you had the same concerns?

As you say bullying has a terrible effect not just on the victim but family life and as we go round and round trying to work out what went wrong and how to avoid it next time I think I have lost confidence in his ability to fit in and my ability to help him. I must remind myself to think positive
Any advice about helping with rebuilding confidence is great. I do hope to be able to join you and say we have never looked back once this is over.......

OP posts:

onimolap · 10/02/2011 22:35

Camel: hope your appointments go well, and that at least one of fhe schools is the place you want him to be.

thecamelsback · 10/02/2011 22:40

thanks onimolap, 1st appointment is tomorrow, I am telling myself to be objective but I have set my heart on it!

OP posts:

ted1 · 11/02/2011 17:08

Camel: we too worried that the bullying was somehow our DSs or our fault. We were always anxious and over analysing his behaviour and personality. I was terrified it would happen again or be worse at a new school, which is why it was such a hard decision and of course there are no guarantees. However, I now believe the outcome could only have been better and that once a group sees a person as a victim or in a certain way it is very hard to change that perception and behaviour. When we moved I told him it was to get away from those kids who were horrible to a new school where they were much nicer. He accepted that and sees the blame as being where it should be - on those who bullied him and was keen to make new friends. I would say be positive and it will soon be a thing of the past and take every opportunity for him to mix in lots of activities outside of school to help him.

Millers4 · 12/02/2011 10:18

Rosemead Prep School Dulwich!

DaftApeth · 12/02/2011 12:05

I was just talking to a friend of mine this week whose son is in year 5 at Falcons Richmond.

She says that quite a few of the boys in the year are staying until 13, including her own.

Hope that your first appointment went well yesterday.

Betelguese · 12/02/2011 12:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Betelguese · 12/02/2011 12:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ann4345 · 12/02/2011 17:04

King Alfreds, is a quirky mixed school set around a playing field. I think you will either love it or hate it!

DaftApeth · 16/02/2011 08:52

How is it all going Camel?

thecamelsback · 28/02/2011 11:00

Hi all,

Sorry for the long absence have been on holiday.

Everything has fallen into place in a way we hadn't really expected. I didn't mention on here that DS sat the 10+ exam for an academic boys school which he really liked. We squeezed in his application a few weeks before the exam in January, so he was totally unprepared and as things were so bad at school he was far too emotional to do any exam prep at home over xmas, so we didn't have high hopes at all. I didn't mention it on here because he came out having really enjoyed day but he said that he had only covered about half of the maths at school (maths being by far his best subject) and he was absolutely convinced he wouldn't pass. In fact all the schools we subsequently looked at were to prepare him for 13+ at this school, as we had all completely written off any chance of 10+ entry.

......anyway, to our utter disbelief he got an interview and a few days later was offered a place He starts in September this year. He (and we) are over the moon!

It has given DS a much needed confidence boost as he really seemed to get on with the boys and fit in generally, the school is extremely well rated and he feels very proud to have been offered a place. He also seems much less stressed about his present school, even though he has another term and a half to go, the fact that he is leaving must be helping him deal with/ignore some of the unpleasantness, I hope it lasts until July!

I haven't told the school yet, obviously the head is aware of the possibility as I told him the new school would be requesting a reference. DS wants absolute secrecy - which is the reason I have not given the name of the school on here, just in case anyone knows me. He want a fresh start completely

I have been overwhelmed by the advice and school suggestions I have been given on here, I looked at every single school suggested online and considered them all carefully. I visited a few and just in case anyone else was watching this thread and looking for a new school for their DC if my DS had not received this offer we would have chosen the Academy in Hampstead but would have been equally happy with Newton Prep.

Thanks to you all, onwards and upwards.......

OP posts:

DaftApeth · 28/02/2011 11:28

Fantastic news Camel. So happy for you and your ds.

What a boost for him to get an offer and he had not even prepared.

Wishing him lots of luck and happiness. Hope the next term and a half go swiftly for him.

X

horsemadmom · 28/02/2011 11:59

Congratulations!!!!
Not many schools do 10+, so most of us can guess. Fantastic news! We turned the Academy down for similar reasons. It's a shame because it is a really nice school.
I'm sure your son will do really well next year and put all the ugly rubbish behind him.
Pat yourself on the back, too. Your son has a super mum!

MadameDefarge · 28/02/2011 14:49

You might also consider Dallington, which is in Clerkenwell. A bit of schlep, but has worked wonders for my ds.

Blenky · 24/04/2015 17:30

Anyone out there got any advise. My 11 year old son is in year 7 at Fairley House. He struggled with moderate dyslexia before going to FH but has made enormous progress and is about ready to move back into mainstream. Our problem is finding right school which has places in the next year 8 and a good SEN dept (North Bridge House and King Alfreds fully subscribed for Sept). DS has IQ 125 but struggles with spellings and Maths. He's bright and v creative. We live in North London and would rather he didn't have to travel too far. We've looked at Portland Place, who do have places but not sure about facilities and St Christophers in Letchworth is great but quite far away. Any ideas???

Itscoldouthere · 28/04/2015 17:27

Benky - you should start a new thread as its never good to resurrect a Zombie.
I know your problems so will try and send you a private message.

Enaena00 · 08/10/2021 18:41

Does any mum know about Portland place online school . How it is for GCSES.

EyeBallisticSquid · 11/10/2021 18:33

The Academy (NW3). Do it now!
Oh, and please take him out and Home Ed him for a stint while you sort a new school. (We did this with my mega boffin, quirky, STEM-loving kid, aged 10, who'd been left feeling really low by some shitty peers. Home Ed isn't as hairy as we thought it'd be, at all, esp if temporary. Have been using Net School as a filler and they rock).
We also got her tested for autism as an afterthought, and it turns out she's HF ASD. Which does explain some stuff.
GOOD LUCK.
Frankly, it doesn't matter if he watches daytime telly for a month. The main thing is to get him the hell outta there. xx

EyeBallisticSquid · 11/10/2021 18:50

Ignore. Zombie thread. Clearly need some wine.

Ziegfeld · 15/10/2021 19:49

@thecamelsback

There are two Wetherbys in W1. One of them is a boys prep which goes up to 13, and one is a boys senior school for 13-18. In theory your son could move to the prep but it didn’t strike me as a particularly nurturing school…

I second the suggestion of Hill House though - it is family owned and a little bit eccentric - it strikes me as the sort of place a boy who is clever and a bit different would fit in. (I don’t know if this helps but Jacob Rees-Mogg sends all his kids there…and if they can survive there, anybody can…)

XelaM · 18/10/2021 22:39

We are in North London, so unfortunately too far from you, but my daughter's all-through private school truly has a ZERO bullying policy. It is incredibly strict on this and expels for any sort of bullying (in or out of school). The children are all very careful to be very inclusive and nice to each other. It was the main factor that attracted my daughter to the school. It's also very academic. They have a school bus service that goes far, but I don't know if it would be as far as West London

Flip

1 2 3 4

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.