Who to tell

[Newscastle]

DH and me are almost through the divorce process. Just had cond order granted. We remain great friends and our DOs are great friends. Kids are teenagers. We have not done a financial consent form and I have no reason not to trust him in future. That's not what this thread is about so pls don't try and persuade me otherwise.

We have agreed between us to split equity of our house 60/40 to me. Just accepted an offer today. We will both use our share to buy our own houses.

He doesn't want to touch my work pension (he has no pension) and I don't want the money left to him by his gran 5 years ago. We split the joint account 50/50 and keep our own personal accounts.

We've told the mortgage company our divorce plan. Who else do we need to tell? HMRC, bank, insurance companies, pension provider... is there anything obvious I've missed?

[unsync]

You do need to get a financial order in place, you have no way of telling what might happen in the future.

You need to revise the beneficiary of your pension and re-do your will as divorce invalidates it.

I also contacted the credit agencies to make sure that I was fully financially severed from my ex once the house was sold and mortgage settled. He had been applying for credit in my name, the searches showed up on my records.

[Dartwarbler]

You need to change your will, and notify Office of guardianship you’ve divorced for your LPOA. if you don’t have a LPOA you need to get one, as without a spouse as next of kin you need to decide who will act for you.

you also need to close any joint debts immediately. If you haven’t already. Any joint accounts, investments. You need proof from any loan companies that these debts are cleared and closed. Cancel all credit cards once paid in full

you need to remove him as beneficiary/expression of wishes form all life insurance, pensions or other trust policies

remove all family memberships for things like music streaming, Amazon prime etc. even remove his personal settings form all shared devices like tvs boxes etc

You need to notify all bills. If one of you is staying longer in home, you’ll need to clear and close all existing accounts and set up new accounts, pain as it is. As we were amicable and house was sold subject to contract, my ex did agree to continue to pay bills in accounts that were in his name as main account holder to save me switching until house completion happened and I moved out . I did a one off payment up front to him to say I’d paid him the money for the bills, and we both signed and dated an agreement to say this so he couldn’t have ever claimed I’d not paid him.

I hear what you say about not persuading you to do a financial agreement, but to be blunt, you’re an idiot. Sorry, but you are. And very naive

my divorce was very amicable. I came off phone after 2 hour chat with my ex of 3 years last week- kids are grown up so not about them. We were just chatting and chatting up. But we still did one- we know financial circumstances can chang3 and if one person is suddenly impoverished they could go to court at that stage and get an award to support them. That could include pension sharing orders years and years down the line. If you’re amicable the consent order can be drawn up by you in a matter of an hour, and a D81 financial declaration can take no more than 2 hours. you can take it to solicitor and say ALL you want them to do is to put it into legal speak for the legal draft, and submit to court for your fiscal order to be sealed at same time. One of you can appoint a solicitor just to do that bit. The other then needs to pay 1 hour of another solicitors time for “advice” on what they’ll be signing. That way court will see you’ve both had legal advice. Provided it meets “fair settlement “ in not leaving one of you significantly worse off or dependant on benefits, it’ll be sealed. Go to link at header to ADVICE NOW and read up on diy guides- it really isn’t difficult, or time consuming or even that costly.

people who say they don’t want consent orders, is usually more about not wanting to do a D81 legal financial declaration. Is that the case here? Or is it a fear the court may over rule your own wishes?

ok, it will cost you a bit more for solicitors bit and extra court work- but our ENTIRE joint legal and court costs were less than £1400 so it’s not significant vs what it could cost you in long run.

[Dartwarbler]

Oh, and change ALL your passwords.

that’s not that you don’t trust him, it’s more that password sharing will nullify any defence against scamming.

good idea to also change user name and email address as well for all financial institutes and government/legal stuff.