Leaving the house?

[runningaway90]

I have another thread going in relationships about my partner but I just wanted some advice on what I should do in terms of the house we jointly own. I think my partner will try to buy me out but I figure this will take a few months to sort and in that time I would still be liable to pay my share of the mortgage I assume. Until its sorted, should I stay in the spare room while paying my split, or move out to family while paying? My worry is that he will drag his feet if I do leave as he has no incentive when he has the house to himself and paying less and I couldn't afford somewhere else while I'm paying this mortgage. But equally don't really want to live in a terrible environment for months so not sure what to do? He has been emotionally abusive in the relationship but not physical if that makes any difference.

[millymollymoomoo]

Stay put
move into spare room
grit your teeth

[coodawoodashooda]

Do you have kids?

[TeenLifeMum]

I’d do all I could to stay put so long as it’s safe. Like you say, otherwise there’s no incentive.

[runningaway90]

@coodawoodashooda

Do you have kids?

No kids no

[runningaway90]

Appreciate the advice I'm gravitating to staying in the spare room but so many people say you have to leave when it's abusive.

[JKM66]

If you have no kids, stay and get on with your life making him insignificant. Not easy but it can be done.

[runningaway90]

@Trixiechelle sorry I think you meant to start your own thread?

[Dartwarbler]

If it’s abusive go to women’s aid for advice. But rather than you leave, you could try going to police and using that to get some sort of order banning him from the home until it’s sold/you move out.

Pre the law change to divorce in 2022, you could have divorced “quickie” under unreasonable behaviour for abusive situation. As I did. It took just 4 months for the whole process form petition to decree absolute. Ok, he did agree to the citation 8n divorce and we did do amicable consent order which made it fast. BUT, now they’ve changed the law and ALL divorces are no fault and take a minimum of 26 weeks. I was really unhappy about this, as it leaves women like you in abusive situations having to stay in homes shared with abusers for an absolute 26 weeks. When I looked at the debate in commons and lords around this, they had debated it and decided that the protection through courts around protection orders etc and going to police were sufficient to protect women in this situation. There you are. According to the powerful men in this country, you have powers to get your abusive husband to leave the House if you go down police route.

In practice, we all know it’s not that simple..but I suggest if you are being abused still, and feel there is even a small possibility of being at risk, you follow up with women’s aid or a specialist support service who can advice you on how to protect yourself

it is however never a good idea to leave a joint property during divorce process, and your husband will also be told that. So, if you aren’t at risk now, then yep, draw up the rules of how you’ll share the home and buckle down to get through it. You can put a bolt/lock on the bedroom door you’ll be using, or a food storage type cupboard etc, but not elsewhere . Remember to follow the guidance in government web site on divorce about what constitutes living seperately for this period - so no sharing wishing, shopping etc