No contact with the kids

[Newbegg]

Would anyone have experience in navigating this..... Basically I have separated from DH. This has been on the cards for a while, without going into it, so I asked him to leave. In this time, almost two months he has seen his teen/tween twice. No texts, phonecalls, nothing now from him. I have tried texting on various occasions about the kids or meeting up to talk over our situation, I have been ignored every time. I don't get how you can be so distant with your kids, my tween is up and down with the whole situation and won't text him as says it now feels awkward. I texted DH the first time he went silent to express how it will have a lasting affect on them both and I don't feel I should have to encourage him, this time, to make contact with them. Surely this should be a natural reaction from a dad to want to see his kids. I'm telling them your dad loves you and he just has stuff to sort out but his actions are starting to make me think, he doesn't care that much. Might I add I have been told from family, he is working during the week, then drinking and being very sociable on the weekends. I have felt sadness, fear, immense guilt, relief and grief from the breakup but now I'm just feeling anger towards his selfishness. Any advice, always appreciated.

[FlowersInAFlowerBed]

Why do you keep begging him? He obviously doesn't want to see them or he would have. Time to move on sadly, my ex hasn't seen our children in a year...

[Newbegg]

@FlowersInAFlowerBed Only for their sake and to lessen the hurt of feeling your dad doesn't actually care about you. A year, wow. Can I ask, how are they with that? Did you get involved or just let him show his true colours.

[BoohooWoohoo]

Are his family close to your child ? Perhaps they would like to see your child?

Unfortunately there is nothing that you can do. Some men will get a kick out of a begging text and doing the complete opposite. It may be time to accept his decision that he can’t centre his child’s feelings over his own.

[Starlightstarbright3]

It’s quite shocking how many men and sometimes women do this .

[FlowersInAFlowerBed]

Unfortunately my kids are use to it as he sees them once a year anyway so they are use to it now. I think if you keep contacting him and he keeps ignoring you that's highlighting it more to the children that he isn't interested rather than letting them move on and forget about it? Who knows if you stop contacting him he may reach out but I wouldn't hold my breath.

[Newbegg]

@BoohooWoohoo yeah it seems that the kids have taken a back, was never that involved when he lived here so I shouldn't really be that surprised. It's painful to watch your kid getting upset over it and being helpless. Regarding family on his side, grandparents are no longer with us and they have seen their aunt's a couple of times.