Child maintenance if share custody 50/50

[ScandiCinnamon]

Hello all.

Just a bit of background; I am midst what is turning out to be a nasty separation from an emotionally abusive and controlling person. It has taken me years to build up the strength to call time on this relationship.

We are not married. Have two DDs in primary school.

We jointly own the property we are in but are otherwise in polar opposites financially. We always had separate finances. I worked PT in low paid job whilst looking after DD’s for 5.5 years. = no savings.
For years OH was absent in evenings and weekends in meetings and doing his own hobby etc etc. I cried and argued over this but no, he was happy with the amount of time he spent with us. We weren’t.

However, now he is turning out to be father of the year and want to have the DD’s 50/50 and as he pointed out repeatedly yesterday, will therefore not pay any child maintenance.

I for the record to not want to do 50/50 but as he is their father there is nothing I can do to prevent this (?)

Now, I have heard this before; If the overnight time is split 50/50 between the parents no child maintenance needs to be paid……..

However, when I just logged on to the UK Government Child Maintenance Calculator and I put in that the children will ‘On average stay with him more than 3 nights a week (it would be every second week 3 every second week 4 so 3.5 nights a week) the result still show as he needs to pay maintenance………. I am very confused.
I know I need to find a good solicitor but due to finances I would like to have my ducks in as neat a row as prior to heading there. He can afford to hire a fancy lawyer and go to court. I can’t.

Does anyone have any experience to share?

Much appreciated

[jocktamsonsbairn]

That is very true and I apologise if I have offended anyone e! But her ex sounds very like mine - he insisted on 50:50 too (despite never seeing them growing up due to work/affair)!but has in reality not actually seen his dc for 9 years - his choice not to see them, I have gone above and beyond to facilitate meetings for my DCs sake. But yes, every case is different. The op's situation sounds very like mine and I stand by my advice to get herself in a strong position if she is facing a controlling ex who wants to wriggle our if paying maintenance with access to money to chuck at courts/solicitors while she has none.

[Ss770640]

@jocktamsonsbairn

Every case is based on its own merits.

You can't apply one case as a rule to them all.

Plenty dad's out there who have done nothing wrong yet expected to pay for the lifestyle of another using a child as an excuse.

[jocktamsonsbairn]

I haven't read the whole thread but quite s bit of it do apologies if I repeat people!!
Firstly go toy various family solicitors till you find a ball breaker. You will get 30mins free and use that to build up advice. Keep a notebook to make notes each time.
Keep another notebook as a diary and note down times, dates and conversations. Screenshot and keep texts, emails etc. They can be used in court. Take any important paperwork out of the house now and keep it somewhere safe - kids birth certificates, passports, house deeds etc. Photograph/photocopy any financial paperwork like pension, wage and savings information, bank statements etc. If you can get hold of things going back the5 years for both of you then take that to prove how you enabled him to continue and progress in his career while you gave up your opportunities to care for your dc.
Call him out on the50:50, my ex did this but would never ever have coped with that as he was too selfish and wasn't used to looking after them. Sounds like your ex. He knows it's your worst nightmare so he's hitting you where it hursts.
It may just take a couple of legal letters to get what you need but he may be an arse and drag it out, a judge may go against him for that as it affects the DC.
Fight for yourself and your dc. He cannot expect you to live in fresh air and bring up your dc on nothing. My ex did and got a big f'ing shock when he was forced to pay maintenance!
Good luck but find a solicitor.

[Ss770640]

@NoMoreLimbo

Would be interesting to see how a court defines care...

[NoMoreLimbo]

@wobytide that is really interesting and I read something somewhere where a recent court case based the definition of care not just on amount of split nights but on the actual care provided.

[MissedTheBoatAgain]

Needs can be generously interpreted if there is lots of assets and cash available.

Google Jocelyn Wildenstein. Her divorce settlement was US$2.5 Billion and a further US$100 million for 13 years.

Nobody on the planet needs that amount to live on, but as it was available and affordable by ex husband and he too would still be well off it was awarded.

She filed for bankruptcy 19 years after the divorce!

[Ss770640]

If marriage is less than 5 years spousal payments are not made and only are if person truly needs the cash

[MissedTheBoatAgain]

If the Resident Parent earns massively more than the Non Resident parent possible that the Non Resident parent could apply for Spousal Maintenance which may offset any child maintenance they pay?

[2boysDad]

That is true.

[Ss770640]

@2boysDad

The higher earner also pays higher tax and receives less benefits.

[Ss770640]

In my opinion, CSA should be administered on a receipt and invoice basis to prevent lower earners from abusing the system effectively getting a wage top up of which none goes to the child.

[2boysDad]

I've thought for a long time that (in addition to CM based around nights per week) it would be a good idea to have both parents pay into a joint "pot" on the basis of their incomes. So someone on £20k would put in half what the parent who's on £40k does.

Seems unfair that you can have one parent who looks after their child for 3 days out of 7 and earns £20k have to pay the other parent who looks after the child 4 days out of 7 but earns £100k.

[MissedTheBoatAgain]

For me it would only be fair for no maintenance to be payable in the event of 50:50 shared care if both parents were on similar earnings. If one partner earned a lot more than the other it seems unfair on the lower earner to have to contribute the same towards cost of raising children.

[wobytide]

Technically you can have the children more than half the nights but still not be a primary carer if someone did the majority of care during the day(exceptionally unlikely but it's the big distinction that where they sleep isn't the only factor for maintenance)

[2boysDad]

The online calculator only applies in a situation where maintainence is payable in the 1st place - which as p29 explains isn't when care is 50:50.

I agree it is VERY confusing. The CMS as many people on here will attest to, is not the most competent of organisations.

[MissedTheBoatAgain]

Correct quote from page 29. However, if you use the online calculator it does not produce a zero figure if paying partner has child more than 3 nights per week?

[wobytide]

I can't see where in the guidelines it states that if care is 50:50 then there is no Child Maintenance payable?

Page 29

Q: What happens if the day-to-day care of a child is equal between a
paying parent and a receiving parent?
A: In this situation, the paying parent does not have to pay any child
maintenance for that child.

[Ss770640]

Based on split, your probab looking at £300/month.

[NoMoreLimbo]

Thanks @MissedtheBoatagain

[MissedTheBoatAgain]

To OP suggest you read the following link:

www.gov.uk/government/publications/how-we-work-out-child-maintenance

More than 175 nights ½ (50%) plus an extra £7 a week
reduction for each child in this band.

I can't see where in the guidelines it states that if care is 50:50 then there is no Child Maintenance payable?

[Ss770640]

Based on my research 50/50 means no CMS due.

If it's 60/40 then pro rata system is used.

[MissedTheBoatAgain]

I don't claim maintenance

If split is 60/40 then I would say you are the Main Parent with Care and Child Maintenance is payable by children's father.

Entirely your choice, but sounds like you are short changing yourself?

[Tingatingatale]

I have 60/40 custody with my ex. He insisted on this and also dictated the days. I regret this now as now it has started it is very hard to change. My eldest finds it hard but we can't find a way to make it more suitable (me and the kids) and exh refuses to consider a change. Be careful what you agree to

I don't claim maintenance but did keep the child benefit (which does get bought up regularly). Out of this I buy coats, shoes, school trips etc. The boys have clothes at his house and mine. Same with trainers, toys etc. Nothing from his house is allowed to come to mine and up until a few months ago they were sent home to me in slippers


He was controlling and still is but you learn to rise above it. It causes him harm and frustration not me. Glad you're getting out and it will get better

[NoMoreLimbo]

@Drawtheline14 that is a really good suggestion.

As it is we have not got anywhere! Just last week he went out on what was meant to be his night and came back at 22 when the DCs were in bed. Also stayed out overnight when he was meant to be home with the DC's that evening..........!

[Drawtheline14]

I’m not sure if you got it all sorted. But I’d go to mediation, so he can have them every other weekend Friday to Sunday night and then one day in the week the weekend he doesn’t have them. Then say if he sticks to this then going forward you’ll discuss slow increase this but he has to show commitment in keeping to this arrangement. This shows that you haven’t fully ruled out 50/50 and you are allowing him access. I’d be willing to bet that if he got into a relationship he wouldn’t want 50/50 at all and every other weekend would be too much.