Child Maintenance - online calculator v CMS calculator

[littleacceb]

Hi, all. I'm wondering if anyone has any experience with the .gov.uk child maintenance calculator differing significantly from the actual amount dictated by the CMS, and the factors that might cause this.

My ex-husband is refusing to pay the maintenance amount given out by the calculator. I get that it's because it's rather a lot and he'd rather have the money for himself, but he seems fixated on an amount £200 less each month, which he believes is correct because of "travel time", as he moved 40 minutes away from the family home and the children's school.

He is also applying through court for 50/50 time during the holidays, but as this will keep the average over the course of the year firmly in the 2-3 days a week range, that shouldn't come under the definition of "shared care" and therefore stop payments, should it?

I suppose I just want to be prepared for the worst case scenario.

Thanks in anticipation. x

[Oswin]

Or infragils a large amount of the fathers included in that don't want 50/50 and some that do are refused because they aren't actually interested in the children.

So men should exploit women and rent there womb to avoid maintenence. Fucking hell. How about from the moment your child is born you parent them. You get up in the night. You get a job that is 9-3, you take the career hit. You do the school runs. Time and time again I see men wanting to become a parent once they have to pay maintenance.

So you want maintenance linked with contact. So if the nrp loses his job obviously he can no longer see his children. That's how your idea works.

[MissedTheBoatAgain]

Child Maintenance is payable regardless of whether NRP has contact with child or not. If RP denies access then NRP will have to apply to the courts for a contact order, but must still pay maintenance whilst it is being resolved.

[ClaireAngelaReid]

I don’t know where you got 99.7% from, 99.7% of what exactly?
As for moving localities to avoid contact, what about ex’s who move themselves 400 miles away then try and deduct their costs from child support? Their choice to move.
As I said previously the biggest looser here are the children. As for surrogates on the rise, can’t see it becoming popular in all of the cases I know of divorce the men would quite like the kids to vanish post divorce

[MissedTheBoatAgain]

NRP has to pay Child Maintenance whether the see child or not. If RP tries to restrict access then NRP will have to involve the Courts for contact order. However, enforcement of such orders seems to be an issue.

[Goldilocks3Bears]

Hello - can I throw a question into the mix as curious and we have a few dad’s in here so good to have your opinion.
I’m RP, NRP has every second weekend and half of hols. He lives with his new partner no kids. Income wise we are fairly even. He pays £450 per month for two kids.

My question is this. He blank out refuses to pay for anything else or split any big ticket things like clubs and school trips. Is this right?! I thought CM was to help me house, feed and clothe the kids but he seems to think as I earn the same as him, it’s fun money (it’s not, the CM just about covers the childcare so I can work FT and school dinners for one child)

[ClaireAngelaReid]

Yes apparently mines £600 a month covers the mortgage, bills, all the holidays I go on, my fags, gin, fancy men and the children’s clothes, mobile top ups, shoes etc ... it’s water into wine I’m performing too.... but that’s the CMS’s calculation and he will not pay a penny more

[xzcvbnm]

GL3bears - it's meant to work so that you pay for the time you spend with the children, and he pays for the time he spends with the children.

Believe me by the way, it isn't fun to be denied access to your children for no good reason whatsoever other than spite and then face an increased CMS amount as a kicker.

[Goldilocks3Bears]

You didn’t answer the question which is splitting nonstandard items like school trips and clubs. But what do you mean “time” - your not renting them. CM is supposed to help towards their basic upkeep. If they live with me the bulk of the year and he has them 90 days, surely the 5k he pays a year to me is to help with basic things, not expected to also cover £300 school trips? That’s nearly a month or CM.

[Goldilocks3Bears]

PS - re access, I’ve at no point denied access to the kids but the sad reality is he doesn’t want more time and when he’s had them in the summer veryone is stressed out because he’d rather be a Disney-dad than deal with all the washing, cooking, them bickering, etc.

[xzcvbnm]

You strike me as a very argumentative person.

You are the resident parent, so you are meant to pay for these things.

[Goldilocks3Bears]

Thanks.

I’m “argumentative” because the children cost more than £900 per month, if you go on the assumption he is paying ‘half’.
So with the same earnings as before we split, we now have two homes. I pay the whole mortgage to house the kids. He pays half a mortgage, just like he did before. His disposable income has gone up since the divorce, even after paying CM. My disposable income is severely impacted, even with receiving CM.

As a result, if he does not pitch in for “luxury” items like trips costing several hundred pounds, the net result is that they don’t get to do these things.

Argumentative bitch that I am, trying to make sure my kids don’t miss on out stuff 🙄

[xzcvbnm]

CMS is calculated by a formula on your exe's gross income after pension contributions. I give my ex wife just under £140 a week for the pleasure of being denied access to our only child, so I can only assume your ex doesnt have a large income.

The money doesn't matter to me much - the kid's happiness does 100%, and its unfortunate that some women are motivated financially to stop the child having a relationship with the father, just as some men go for 50:50 shared care without really wanting it to minimise payments rather than in the child's best interests.

If you pay your mortgage in its entirety and your ex only pays 50% of his, perhaps I might suggest that you need to move on wuth your life in the same way as I'm assuming he has.

[ClaireAngelaReid]

Goldilocks3Bears - you are wasting your breath and this why I tell everyone I know make sure you get as much as possible out of the assets because basically that is it, you’re lucky if you even get CMS and they resent every penny but decline kind offers to have them full time and let you be the Disney parent in my experience.
Most women these days even with a gap for maternity leave etc would earn the same as their ex if not more without children to care for.
You are on your own now, you’ll get no thanks and the kids suffer. That’s the bottom line.

[Goldilocks3Bears]

Xzcv - your advice is interesting. It suggests I’ve not moved on. I have but that doesn’t necessarily mean setting up ship with someone to pay half my mortgage. Or are you suggesting I seek a relationship for financial reasons because that’s sounds a little sinister...

Sorry you don’t have any access. I’m always curious about these cases of dad’s having zero access as a) I can’t see why that would be in the child’s interest, b) it often, and I’m not saying you specifically, sounds like the dads somehow give up. However, the money is for the child and not her.

[MissedTheBoatAgain]

and its unfortunate that some women are motivated financially to stop the child having a relationship with the father

That sums up my situation very well. Ex did not get her own way in the Courts (she wanted 3,500/month Joint Lives Spousal Maintenance and 4 properties, 3 that were owned by family and my parents house). Only time GP's see child is when his mother leaves UK to go on holiday.

I work overseas which limits my contact time. Suggested that GP's or his half sister bring him to where I work during the School Holidays. Did not happen as Ex would not provide letter of consent and passport. So need to wait till he is 16 when child no longer needs parents permission to leave UK

[MissedTheBoatAgain]

To Goldilocks3Bears

CM is meant to contribute towards day to day living costs such as; housing, food , clothes, school uniform, school meals and transport to school. Outside school activities are not considered essential day to day costs.

I used to give my Ex about double the CMS figure so that child could continue with his hobbies. Never happened as Ex pocketed the extra money. So I now pay the CMS figure.

I am happy to pay for hobbies directly, but child still misses out as his mother says she not have the time (she works 16 hours per week) and petrol is too expensive to take him anywhere. GP's offered to provide transport, but Ex ignored.

Bottom line is that CM is meant for the child. It is not meant to be additional spending money for RP's.

[ClaireAngelaReid]

MissedTheBoatAgain - sounds like the bottom line is you choose to work away from your child to no financial benefit to that child and resent your ex wanting a life of her own too .... if you’re happy to pay for hobbies directly then do it. Pay for them, tell the child you’ve paid for them
And tell the grandparents what time to pick child up. You seem very passive expect when it comes to fighting to keep your money.

[MissedTheBoatAgain]

Hobbies were paid direct, but ex moved house so that GP’s could not collect child.

[Goldilocks3Bears]

Missedtheboatagain - you sound like a good egg. Thank you. My own ex and a bunch of other local dads refuse to contribute to any extracurricular and this often seems to be attached to some bitterness around the mother doing ANYTHING at all for herself. One self employed dad somehow gets away with thirty pounds per month for two kids and because she left him (he was/is a gambler) he seems hellbent on revenge and tops up the financial neglect with no shows and various emotional harassment when he can :(
We shouldn’t assume that all mums are good mums and I’m sure that some are taking the p and spending up like mad with CM. But those that are not, where the kids carry on as before with their clubs etc, don’t miss out on school trips, and they are looked after, then it is in the kids interest that their mum has some downtime too once in awhile to recharge.
I’ve heard many dads say “oh she didn’t let me see the kids, she turned the kids against me, etc etc” The truth of the matter is the kids grow up, they talk to their mates, and they’re not stupid. If dad refuses to ever contribute and they live with mum and see the struggle she has to make ends meet while he goes on expensive holidays and tools around on a 1k bicycle and always has a new car, they will at some point put it all together. My oldest child is going through this process at the moment and I try hard to not be negative about the dad butnimmaso not going to cover for him. Nope.

[ClaireAngelaReid]

I send Uber’s to pick my girl up to do tennis lessons .... where there is a will ... or hate to say it but come home and get stuck into your kids life

[Goldilocks3Bears]

Yes I’m reliant on other parents and taxis too. I don’t think someone working 16 hours a week will have the money for taxis though

[MissedTheBoatAgain]

One self employed dad somehow gets away with thirty pounds per month for two kids

Self employed seems to be a problem for CMS as hard to establish what those who work cash in hand actually earn in total.

[Goldilocks3Bears]

It’s shouldn’t be hard. If they are self employed, and pretend they have low earnings, they could be made to pay a statutory amount and have this taken off their personal tax allowance.

[infragilis]

I pay for all my kids clubs and when there's a trip I pay at least half the cost and often more (mum earns more than me). But I always make sure that I pay direct and next to their mum. Everyone's situation is completely different and I don't know the full details of anyone's position but my own. If a dad thinks (and in some cases they are correct) that the maintenance payments are generous then I can see why they would want the mum to use the extra an extra curricular stuff.

ClareAngelReid I can see why he left!

[Goldilocks3Bears]

@infragilis the reality of modern life is that only high earnings equal a sufficient CM payment to cover all costs. It’s irrelevant that she earns more than you as you are paying a share of YOUR earnings towards your own kids. If I earn more than him at some point, it doesn’t mean that he has less of a responsibility to fund our joint kids lives. If we were still together then yes I would be putting more into the family household but we’re not so as far as I’m concerned he should pay half. If I had more disposable income than him, then that’s for me for holidays with the kids, my pension and mortgage etc and has f all to do with him. Unfortunately that’s the crux of the matter in many cases - the dads (like mr thirty quid above) hate the mums being able to afford anything nice and would rather see her living on the breadline after paying for the kids stuff.