Girlfriend's History

[cwallan87]

I was married with a young son. I divorced and got together with another woman who had three kids and was in the process of divorcing. We got engaged and had a son of our own. 2.5 years into the relationship I found out she had in fact been married twice and her kids had different fathers. The first marriage/father was a guy who I thought was an 'uncle' type figure to her kids. She hadn't told me through shame, but kept putting off our marriage to avoid me finding out. There was quite an elaborate web of mistruths to cover up. I'm struggling to figure out if I'm overreacting or legitimate in being hurt and struggling with trust issues. It wouldn't have bothered me had I known from the beginning, but find the lies very hurtful. She is very sorry, but I'm struggling.

[Aquamarine1029]

You can never trust a habitual, compulsive liar. They will lie about anything to serve their own best interests. Run for your life.

[PixieDustt]

Why did she feel she couldn't tell you though?
Do you think maybe she thought you would judge her?
For me, that would be hard to move past as they were not open and honest at the beginning of the relationship.

[Pixxie7]

Trust in any relationship is essential, however she may well have felt ashamed. The question is can you get over it?