When our ds was born his dad had lots of leave and was around, helping, for most of the first 6 weeks. Since then he's gone back to work full-time but he still gives ds his bath, changes nappies, carries ds in the sling when we go out. They also usually get a little bit of a play together in the evenings and a fair bit on weekends.
The problem is that ds won't settle (from crying, or for sleep) with his dad - in fact he'll often start crying if I hand him over and rarely stops til I take him back. I don't rush in but it isn't doing either of them any good to have so much crying in their time together (and we adults could both do without the extra stress at the end of our day!). DH is so disheartened he has given up trying in the evenings, which is sad for both of them (not to mention I could really use a break, since I am on night-duty as well!) I am trying so hard not to be Type A about this, but DH seems to have decided he "can't" help so sticks his nose in a book and waits to be told what to do, which isn't doing our relationship any good either!
Any suggestions as to how we can break the pattern and help ds get used to settling with his dad, without all of us being traumatised? Would it be a good idea for me to just go out and leave them to it? Anyone been through anything like this before?
Thanks for tips
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advice on bonding, please?
10 replies
phdlife · 12/07/2007 13:50
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