I have no reason not to get started, and yet...

[fuzzpig]

I am still procrastinating!

I've been feeling 'ready' to write (one children's book and one adult novel that have plans etc) for a while now but as I had a couple of other work-related projects on the go, I put it off. Now both those projects are done - and one was typing/editing somebody's children's book so very inspiring - and yet I am still scared to actually put 'pen to paper'. I've got no reason not to, I'm not even at work for another couple of months (I have a chronic illness, but my mind is still just about working and is itching to be exercised).

Somebody give me a kick up the bum please? Is anyone else feeling similar?

I'm not doing NaNo by the way, I tried before but found the pressure was negative rather than helpful IYSWIM. Although I might suggest a little unofficial project to DD (8 and home ed) for us to work alongside one another, as she loves writing.

[fuzzpig]

I still haven't written anything! I feel I have more reason to though. I have recently had an assessment by a psychologist (diagnosed with Aspergers) and it brought up a huge amount of issues which are really filling my head now. I need to get going and just write. I have a load of lined paper (friend gave me a pack of refill pads as she didn't need them) but am wary of anyone else seeing (DD is a nosy little thing!)

[fuzzpig]

In an absolutely ideal world, yes Bloom I would love it if they were published! But trying not to kid myself that it's easy. I would possibly consider printing one copy of the children's stories (I think there's sites where you can just pay per copy) so my DCs can have them, but otherwise would try and approach publishers and see what happened I guess.

Oddly DD curled up in her room and wrote an entire 8-chapter story this morning with no prompting. Oh how I long for those long-gone days of boundless creativity :o

Yes you're exactly right about why I could write in hospital but not here. The school was fab, so encouraging, patient and supportive (unlike the hospital unit itself which was pretty horrific if you weren't 'the right kind of patient'... which I wasn't). They even sent off one of my poems to be published in a gallery newsletter when I'd been inspired by our visit there. When I was discharged, I felt totally unready to go back into the 'real world' and I just stopped completely.

To some extent though it was also happiness that made it hard to write. As an abuse survivor and self harmer the bulk of my writing was needless to say pretty dark. When I left hospital I fell in love (been together 13 years now) and while I'm not completely better - not sure I ever will be - I have never been back in crisis since.

I tried a few times. I have written one poem, knocked out quickly in one night, basically about the fact that it was the first poem I'd written in ages. Another one where I have a load of little phrases but in several years haven't managed to actually make into a coherent piece.

[TheCountessofFitzdotterel]

It's a first draft. First drafts are meant to be shit. Just let yourself write rubbish. (It probably won't be. But it wouldn't matter if it was.)

[Bloomsberry]

It sounds as if you wrote easily in hospital because the environment was safe and appreciative, and you were writing therapeutically, so it wasn't supposed to float off your pen to publishable standard, plus presumably you were being gently encouraged...?

Maybe try to access that mental space again? Also, what do you want for these two planned works? Do you want to publish them?

[fuzzpig]

Oops double post sorry

[fuzzpig]

Thanks, I do really need to remember that - it's not a book unless I write it. Nobody has to read it yet, it's ok if it's rubbish

Unfortunately it's my phone camera that doesn't work - I need to dig out the battery/charger for our old digital one.

I did write a very short piece last night for work - so that IS the kind of thing that will need to become perfect, but I actually feel like I could try something next that is just... free. I think I will start with the hospital stuff. Not the experiences there (don't think I'll ever be ready for that) but the bit about creativity - seems easier to get over a creative block when writing about a creative block.

I WILL do this.

[fuzzpig]

Thanks, I do really need to remember that - it's not a book unless I write it. Nobody has to read it yet, it's ok if it's rubbish

Unfortunately it's my phone camera that doesn't work - I need to dig out the battery/charger for our old digital one.

I did write a very short piece last night for work - so that IS the kind of thing that will need to become perfect, but I actually feel like I could try something next that is just... free. I think I will start with the hospital stuff.

[ImperialBlether]

Exactly. It's easy to criticise writing and it's easy to say what you would've done. There is nothing like actually doing it.

And a lot have the first three chapters in them, but getting past that is really hard.

[Bloomsberry]

Take the pressure off - the first draft is allowed to be god-awful. Sometimes the second is too.

And remember that most of the difference between published novelist and everyone who 'thinks they have a novel in them' is that you actually write it.

[ImperialBlether]

Why don't you just type "I remember" and see what comes out?

[Artioo2]

Sounds like a great place to start.

If you have one, a phone camera is fine for taking photos for a craft blog, as long as you take the picture in a well-lit space. That's what I use.

[ImperialBlether]

That would be a great subject to write about!

[fuzzpig]

Thanks all :)

Good idea about just writing ANYTHING. I've also set up a blog (about home ed) but haven't actually posted anything - partly that's because I don't have a working camera ATM (to photograph craft ideas etc) but also because I'm a wimp.

I know why I find it difficult - I used to be really creative (art as well as writing) and in my teens I was hospitalised for several months due to a breakdown, and attended the school there. It was mostly occupational therapy based, so we did lots of poetry and stuff. It was brilliant, I was safe to express myself IYSWIM. But when I left (earlier than I wanted) I just stopped completely because I didn't have that support anymore.

Hmm, maybe that should be the first subject I should write about actually.

[Chelsea26]

ha leaving work and typed that in the dark on my phone - in RL i know about spelling and apostrophes and all sorts

[Chelsea26]

I srated wrting my book to get it out of my head as it was annoying me going around in there. I kept telling myself, it's going to be crap, no ones ever going to read it, you don't need to do this etc

15,000 words later I suddenly thought, hang on, I dont think this is too shabby after all.

No pressure is the key I think...

P.S. Hi everyone! I had no idea this topic was here - what do we do here?

[ImperialBlether]

Put a post-it next to your monitor that says "This is just a draft."

You can't edit a blank page.

Put another post-it on the other side of your monitor that says "Get on with it."

It works for me!

[Artioo2]

Just remember that it doesn't matter what you write at first. Maybe even forget the planned novel and the children's book for now and just try a journal or exercises to kick off. You need to get into the habit of regular writing and break through that barrier of reluctance. Don't fall into the trap of shiny new notebooks and fountain pens - they'll put you off and make you think that what you write has to be perfect. It doesn't - you need to be open to it being bad, it's just a first draft.

Something like this might help get you started - it encourages you to write 750 words every day, no matter what they are. 750 Words.