Worried about a bleak future

[Wannaflyaway]

I'm in a bad place at the moment. I hate reading that this is 'the new norm' and basically we have to suck it up and get on with it. Dr Fauci said that we should never shake hands again. It looks like social distancing will be a permanent thing of the future and that we will never enjoy the same amount of freedom that we had prior to coronavirus. Will we ever be able to go to the cinema, the theatre, to the restaurant again without severe restrictions in place making it a far from enjoyable experience? Will they even exist in the future? Will school ever be like it was before, how can it be with social distancing? Will it be part-time schooling if/when the schools reopen, whenever that may be, along with frequent closures in order to 'flatten the curve'? What about going on holiday on an aeroplane, will that ever be possible again? The future looks oppressive, restricted, regimented and joyless. I'm so, so sad for my 4 year old daughter and the life she has ahead of her. I can't even mentally escape by watching the tv any more. If I watch a soap, a sit-com, a film, seeing free to go about their lives normally, its too painful a reminder of a life that doesn't exist any more. I'm grieving for the past and absolutely hate, despise, detest what the future looks like. Everyone else I know seems fine, they seem perfectly happy in their family bubbles, posting photos on social media of the amazing time they're having and writing things like 'living our best lives'. I just don't how they seem fine with it all. I don't know how I can get past this. I have never felt so low and such a sense of hopelessness in all of my life.

[Kasabian23]

Life is different now yeah, but you adapt and move with the times. I wont be leaving the house until I have the vaccine in my system and I'm sure most other people will be doing the same thing. It's just the way it is now. Until we have the vaccine and we can come together as a community to depose the Tory government we'll just have to live with it.

[Dinosauratemydaffodils]

Be kind to yourselves, if you in mental health crisis please get support as we dont know what the future holds yet.

I can't get any support. The GP says talk to the adult mental health team. They say talk to the GP because my psychiatrist has been redeployed. I can't be bothered to pursue it any further because going round in circles just feeds into my paranoia/feelings of worthlessness and shame linked to my ptsd. This has undone two years of therapy and probably couldn't have come at a worst time for me. I just was just getting back on my feet. I'm not sure I can or want to do it again.

[LilyPond2]

OP, as BigChocFrenzy has said, unless you or your DD have a health condition you haven't mentioned, you are at very low risk from the virus and your DD is extremely low risk. Don't lose sight of that. Re your DD not being her usual self at the moment, and I mean this constructively and not as a criticism, she will be taking her emotional cues from you, so do your best to find little things to enjoy for her sake. Four-year-olds are generally very resilient little people, precisely because they haven't been on this planet long enough to have a strong sense of what "normal" is. They adapt quickly to new situations and get on with life.

[Honeybee85]

Life will soon be back to normal after the governement decides that everything can re-open. I don't doubt even for a second that things go back to where they were before. Humans naturally don't like change and as soon as we get green light, people will carry on as they have done before this.
Dr. Fauci and other drs are specialists that merely look at the situation from a medical point of view, I bet if you ask a sociologist you might get a different view on shaking hands etc in the future.

[MigginsMs]

I wont be leaving the house until I have the vaccine in my system and I'm sure most other people will be doing the same thing

So “most other people” won’t be leaving the house for 12 - 18 months? Can’t see that happening, nor should it. Plus how do you get the vaccine in the first place if you won’t leave the house?!

[LilacTree1]

OP 1) are you the lady I met on my walk today?! Similar worries fir her children

2) have you seen this?

This guy is on the SAGE committee

uk.news.yahoo.com/coronavirus-social-distancing-lockdown-scientific-advisory-group-for-emergencies-180826409.html

I feel very low too but I think if enough of us accept we live and die with this disease, we’ve got a shot at a good life.

[Pinkchocolate]

I’m feeling it too. My kids miss their friends and routine and I’m really really desperately missing my parents. I used to see them daily and the idea of them being at home for the rest of the year breaks my heart. My DD is at the end of her school life and she we have no idea what’ll happen in the next few months. People, so so many people are loosing loved ones daily. It’s all so dire.

[blueberrymuffin88]

So sorry you feel like this OP. I too feel exactly the same. I don't want to live in this 'new normal'. I'm not looking forward to anything and sad for my daughter's future. 😢

[longtermillness]

Dinosaur which part of the UK are you in? If Scotland based, call 111 - they offer access to a CPN overnight, between 6pm and 2am just now but extending to 24/7 soon . Have had a lovely conversation with a CPN tonight on there ... not sure if it’s the same in England/wales/NI though ...

Also see if your local health board are doing anything specific themselves, mine have a corona resilience hub so a MH team formed just for this crisis ... all phone based but sure this can’t be unique to my area . I’ve lost my psychiatrist and GP appts too, and bereft for a few weeks so do know to an extent how you feel

I also sat tonight and thought, what’s the fucking point but I suppose while we’re here we’re given challenges to conquer for some reason, things we have to overcome ... my only way of coping with this is to try and see this as another challenge that will eventually - eventually - have benefits for us ... whether that’s a more caring and peaceful world I dunno .

[SMJYellow]

These restrictions are in place to slow the spread of the virus. It's not going to be forever. For a few months, maybe even into next year, no one knows. I think it might be hard to back to what the old normal was. No body knows.


I would be lost without my hobby. Something I love is that many musicians are taking to Facebook and Instagram and doing house tunes or gigging from their living rooms. For free. I really like that. It keeps me going.

This April was beautiful in weather. The first year we got a proper spring. We weren't under house arrest and we were allowed out within 2km to do daily exercise in the lovely weather.

Life got too hectic for so many people. Getting up early in the morning, going to work, long commutes, not looking after yourself properly, time poor, money poor, - try and enjoy the calmness and the stillness of the restrictions. We'll be back to the rat race soon enough, no doubt.

Use the time to learn something new - a new hobby, or a new language, or whatever interests you - music, art, books, whatever. Use the time to grow.

[LilacTree1]

SMJ - ugh.

OP I hope you feel better today. I think if enough scientists speak up, then maybe this isn’t the new normal?

[Mintypylonsfryingsurplus]

@Dinosauratemydaffodils
I am so sorry you cant access support. The fact you have worked so hard for 2 years to overcome your challenges demonstrates how strong you are.
Recovery has setbacks so please dont see it as a waste.
When you feel stronger look at virtual access if you can.
I have read that if you are in mental health crisis exceptions can be made to get support from a trusted friend or family member, as the risk overides the immediate concern, but I guess that depends on uour personal circumstances or if people are sheilding etc.
You matter your feelings matter so reach out when you feel you can and share.
This is a temporary situation everything will shift. Sending thoughts and strength to everyone who is struggling with this today

[SnuggyBuggy]

I just don't see how this can be a realistic new normal in the long run.

[LilacTree1]

Snuggy, it depends how much our overlords want to enforce it.

[Dinosauratemydaffodils]

I also sat tonight and thought, what’s the fucking point but I suppose while we’re here we’re given challenges to conquer for some reason, things we have to overcome ... my only way of coping with this is to try and see this as another challenge that will eventually - eventually - have benefits for us

Bit of a joke though isn't it. You overcome your shitty emotionally abusive childhood, parents screaming at each other, watching your dad almost bleed to death following a fight with your mum, helping clean up the blood off the floor. Seeing him blind drunk regularly. Watching your mum pick his gun up and aim it at his head whilst he's mostly unconsious (military...used to drink on call, no idea whether it was loaded or not but it used to terrify me). Coming home from school to discover that your mum has left him, you and the country. Trying to find a neighbour with a key in a biting cold continental European winter. Hearing repeatedly from your "caregivers" that you've ruined their life, that they were happily married before they had you, that you're ugly, stupid, worthless and unless you're first at everything no one will ever love you. Getting 97 percent in exams and getting abuse for it.

Then just when things are looking up, you get violently raped.

Then you overcome having flashbacks to said rape during the birth of your first child plus serious mental illness including a psychotic break.

For the first time in a very long time you feel happy...you've got friends, holidays booked, you feel secure, the nightmares have stopped. You don't need to make sure the door is locked 100 times a day. You don't jump at every little noise. Your psychiatrist tells you he doesn't think you're mentally ill any more.

And this happens...

[Weallfloatdownhere]

@SMJYellow we are not and never have been restricted to being within 2km of home.

[FurryDogMother]

@Weallfloatdownhere We are in Ireland!

[MereDintofPandiculation]

Some of us are restricted to home. 2km would be great!

[LilacTree1]

Dinosaur

I can only offer you a hug. I wish I could do something.

[longtermillness]

Dinosaur I’m so sorry you’ve experienced all that . Life can be fucking horrendous and I’m sorry you’ve had to go through all that . You’re more than entitled to feel pissed off with the world . I was abused in childhood too , and then sexually assaulted and it’s all just grim . You’re not alone although it must feel like it just now

I haven’t admitted it to anyone in rl but I feel this is someone playing a sick joke on me, I’ve always been terrified of going out and now this - it’s like someone saying, ‘you don’t want to go out, well there you go, happy now?!’

[TiddyTid]

Maybe things will never be the same. How it see it is we will adjust if that's the case. It's all a shell shock at the moment, confusion and what ifs and when but it will shake out, in time.

I think now, more than ever, we need to live for the day, support each other and as changes come try and make the best of it.

[ifonly4]

OP, glad you posted this and it's helped me going through replies. Inwardly I've started feeling low this last week. For me it's a mixture of life not going back to how we know it, one of my jobs is essential but so quite, it's mind numbing, I've known people who've caught this awful disease, and one lost their life to it, starting to miss socialising, the fact I can't just go and buy what I want or need.

Trying to stay positive though, my DD is home, we have jobs (at the moment), food, nice walks near home. It's a beautiful time of the year, so really trying to enjoy the flowers, tree with leaves etc.

[IntoTheUnknown89]

I would be glad to see the back of hand shakes! I suffer from white coat syndrome and I hated Dr's appointments where they'd hold out their hand and I'd have to offer them my sweaty, anxious hand lol. I'm not even kidding!

I suffer from a nervous bladder too and I have actually found myself lying in bed at night thinking "What if we open up the world again but toilets are off limits or we have to stand in long queues before going into them". It sounds stupid but that would be a real issue for me!

[justanotherneighinparadise]

I just can’t wander down the road of this much self pity when there are people starving to death in the world. Sorry.

[onedayinthefuture]

Have faith OP, I have days like this and it's compounded mainly by certain media and sometimes from coming on MN. Try and come off the internet. I am trying to. I had a bad experience with multiple miscarriages, I just dwelled and spent too much time online looking for answers. It drove me crazy, made me extremely paranoid and quite reckless when I look back. Had I not read all the stories online of what 'it could be' mentally I would have been in a much better place. Instead, I was in a dark place for a long time.

I just come back from a drive and the roads are busy, had a lovely walk in the woods and people are going out of their way to say hello and smile. People need people. People need things to look forward to, I honestly believe most of us see that life is too short anyway and you've just got to get out there and live your life. I know our government has been slated for the light lockdown but in all honesty, it's probably helped a huge amount of people just by being able to get out. Life will return, it has to. Boris made the point today about our leisure industry and the private sector being a wealth creator for the economy. I'm sure we can bounce back.