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Original poster

This isn't right is? Should I report?

58 replies

BlackCoffeeExtraStrong · 20/04/2020 20:13

Hi,

So probably been done to death on here, but I genuinely don't know if this is a situation I should report.

Two of my neighbours both have their family over quite reguarly. I'd say 2 or 3 times a week and whereas they don't go inside, they're offered drinks back and forth, definitely aren't keeping a 2 meter distance and one has a dog who runs up to the neighbours daughter and her bf and they fuss her and then she runs back to him. So easily transmitting anything, potentially. Same with the drinks.

Both neighbours (different hh I should add) are over 70, I'm pretty sure and seem to be isolating generally, but this isn't ok is it?

I would absolutely LOVE to drive over to my mum and dads, who I miss so much, but I don't and I won't until lockdown is over, because I don't want to risk passing anything on.

I honestly think they believe they're doing the right thing, because as I said, they're taking other precautions, but every time I see them, I think 🤦‍♀️ what are you doing?!

Would you report this?

OP posts:
SmileyClare · 20/04/2020 22:55

You're angry though Flaxmeadow !

I'm following guidelines and I'm not visiting family. I still think it's helping no one to froth online about neighbours pushing the boundaries. It makes people turn on each other. Its contributed to Op's feelings of isololation and bitterness.
And bothering the police with a driveway coffee meet up (or whatever it is) down the road would be a waste of everyone's time and resources don't you think?

FliesandPies · 20/04/2020 22:57

No

ChippityDoDa · 20/04/2020 23:02

I visited my DH’s 85 year old nan (who lives alone) on Sunday. We had a lovely chinwag for half an hour in our deckchairs sitting in the sun about 3m apart. I took her some shopping and took my own coffee in my own cup. Do you want to report me OP? Be my guest. In my opinion the mental health and economic devastation of all this will kill far more than coronavirus.

Original poster
BlackCoffeeExtraStrong · 20/04/2020 23:12

Yes, @ChippityDoDa. I'm calling them now Hmm

This is a regular thing and they aren't staying apart. I don't see what I'm doing wrong by being concerned.

OP posts:
Curlyshabtree · 20/04/2020 23:24

crimbles we are in the same situation so I feel for you. Fortunately their immediate neighbours are fully aware. As for any others I’m beyond caring what they may think.

Justasecondnow · 20/04/2020 23:31

Not a path I’d want to go down. You have limited options.. do you really want to call the police on your neighbours? How would that affect your home life? Do you really think they’d come?

Best for own peace of mind imagine the most positive motivation for their actions that aren’t obvious to you and go on focusing on your own sensible precautions.

FliesandPies · 20/04/2020 23:33

But you didn't say you were concerned OP, you asked if you should report them which is quite a different matter. The rules are a mess frankly and it sets a bad tone to be snitching on people who, as you've said, are generally trying to what's right.

MrsMummyBx · 20/04/2020 23:34

@ChippityDoDa gosh finally some common sense. The government guidelines are written for the lowest common denominator ie totally basic - it isn’t a crime for some sort of brain power to be applied in interpreting them. If BOTH households have been completely isolating (and definitely no going to supermarket etc) for 14 days then logically they can’t pass anything to each other. Why don’t they visit. It’s not harming anyone. Of course you don’t know this is the situation here but it may be - you do not have the facts. This situation is going to play havoc with mental health and a ‘risk balancing’ exercise might put that at a higher place than potential Covid risks. There is a huge amount of scaremongering in the press re the risks and people forget that for the under 70s in good health, it should be relatively mild. I understand people’s concerns who have health conditions etc but then just close the window if neighbours have guests over and stop the curtain twitching. If they take any risks, then that’s up to them.

Flaxmeadow · 20/04/2020 23:55

You're angry though Flaxmeadow !

Not angry just sad because, as I said last night on here, hardly anyone where I live is staying within the guidelines. More traffic on the road than ever. Shops heaving with families and day trippers. No social distancing. People openly brag about going to the pub. If anyone dare even so much as mention the lockdown they get dirty looks and are immediately under suspicion of being a snitch.

It started off that people wanted the lockdown but now it's as if there isn't one anymore. It doesn't make me angry, just scared because the numbers of cases will probably start rising again in a few weeks

pigsDOfly · 21/04/2020 00:03

You're like those French families that reported their neighbours for hiding Jews during WW2.

No she really isn't, and that really has to be one of the crassest things I've ever read on MN.

But no OP. Don't report it.

AlexaShutUp · 21/04/2020 00:15

God, I dread some nosy neighbour reporting us when we drop supplies to my elderly parents. We are extremely careful about the 2m distance and we never go inside but we do often stop for a five minute chat because they're lonely and desperate to talk.

Of course, it would be better if they could get their shopping delivered themselves, and they have been trying, but they're elderly and even if they manage to get a slot, they sometimes forget to checkout or whatever, and so they lose it. Consequently, I have to take round supplies at least once a week, it's the only option. I would never knowingly do anything that would put them at risk though.

I really hope that the neighbours aren't twitching their curtains and judging us for popping round every now and then. It's never a social call, we only go when they're in need of essentials.

Flaxmeadow · 21/04/2020 00:15

You're like those French families that reported their neighbours for hiding Jews during WW2.

Not only a distorted comparison but insulting to the victims of the holocaust/WW2 to use their suffering to push your point of view in petty debate. Vile

SmileyClare · 21/04/2020 00:28

Flaxmeadow I can understand you're upset if no one is social distancing where you live. Are you in the UK? No distancing at all? Shops heaving, pubs opening? I'm shocked by that.

FliesandPies · 21/04/2020 00:33

People openly brag about going to the pub

Pub?? Confused

Flaxmeadow · 21/04/2020 00:35

Flaxmeadow I can understand you're upset if no one is social distancing where you live. Are you in the UK? No distancing at all? Shops heaving, pubs opening? I'm shocked by that.

Its true Clare. I'm in a metropolitan county in the north of England and I've been saying it for a few days now and others say it too

I think this is why you see so many of these types of threads on here. People don't want to be a snitch, It's just a general frustration that so many people, in so many areas, are just not taking any notice of the restrictions anymore

Flaxmeadow · 21/04/2020 00:36

Pub?? Confused

Yes lock ins

FliesandPies · 21/04/2020 00:50

Yes lock ins

Have you got proof of that or is it just people bragging?

Toybox88 · 21/04/2020 04:06

You asked if you should report them. The majority of people are saying no you shouldn't. You don't seem to want to accept the answer to the question you asked.

SunShine682 · 21/04/2020 04:48

Don’t be so nosy and stay out of other people’s business.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 21/04/2020 08:04

As far as I was concerned, ANY nonessential travel was not permitted. Am I wrong?

But essential travel has not been defined. It's open to reasonable interpretation within the scope of the guidelines.

It's like those over zealous police who challenged people for non essential items in their shopping. What does it matter if you pick up wallpaper while buying other necessary items? Who does it hurt?

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 21/04/2020 08:06

Scratch that, essential travel has been defined, but not so narrowly that it isn't open to reasonable interpretation.

Scruffyoak · 21/04/2020 08:09

Are you sure they are family?

I do community care and one couple has 5or 6 different carers in total, usually 3 different ones each day over the week. I do not wear my uniform there.

Scruffyoak · 21/04/2020 08:09

Not *

BlueGheko · 21/04/2020 08:15

the government has specifically said that travelling to see your family isn't allowed unless you're dropping off supplies

And how do you know they're not? Do you see them arrive every time? Are you sitting at your window all day long? My parents have walls and fences separating their property from neighbours, no doubt it sounds like we're having a social to their neighbours when I drop their shopping round as they won't be able to see all the shopping bags at ground level but that is exactly what I'm doing and yes we have a 5 minute chat at a distance but according to some on MN I should be lobbing their shopping in the vague direction of their house whilst sprinting in the opposite direction Hmm. Mind your own business OP and get a hobby or something.

FlowerArranger · 21/04/2020 08:16

@BlackCoffeeExtraStrong... You seem very stressed and perhaps just a wee bit overwrought. Just remember these are your neighbours. Presumably they will still be your neighbours when all this is over. One of the best ways to a peaceful life is maintaining good relations with your neighbours.

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