Has this changed you forever?

[moobar]

Late night musings so I thought I would try and articulate them here.

I admit I have anxiety and a tendency to overthink.

However, at the moment, I can't see how I will come out of this the same person I was at the start.

I'm fairly isolated location wise anyway, but I was thinking it will be a long time before I feel safe or happy going, for example, to a concert.

Shopping? Unlikely to do it unless I had to.

Routine trips to busy busy places, possibly?

Travel, very unlikely. I can't see me ever having the courage to travel to somewhere huge and busy, ever. Even quieter places, that would mean an airport and I don't know if I could.

Dd got norovirus on holiday in January and I began carrying antibacterial gel and wipes after that. That's going to get worse.

Nursery, she will have to go back but it scares me already. As does school.

I suppose I mean just things I've taken for granted, popping to a soft play on a busy day, shopping centres, ikea on a bank holiday, anything where there is likely to be hundreds of others, makes me feel really sick and scared.

Whilst some of this is no doubt my health, I do wonder whether this has changed me in a way that may never be corrected. And that makes me sad as well.

[LilacTree1]

Peckish “ LilacTree1 well, that explains some of your posts...”😂

To be fair, if you compare my not drinking posts, they’re much more honest.

[Theharderiwork]

It has affected me already. If I am watching a film with a large crowd, I automatically think they are too close. There is an advert where an elderly man tastes the stew then put the bit left on the spoon back in the pot and stirs it ( this is disgusting anyway) but my mind goes to automatic, Oh Germs! On coronation street tonight a woman put a pitta bread to her ear and pretended it was a phone then another woman took a bit of it. Once again I thought germs.

[B1rdbra1n]

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling like this moobar:(
I hope there will be a wealth of help and support for the many who have been traumatised by this crisis.
For me I think it's to early to say, I'm a homebody solitary health freak type and I've not been especially inconvenienced, I am alarmed at it all though!

[merryhouse]

I'm going to make a real effort not to inwardly groan at the thought of tonight's karate class

[moobar]

Although @CountFosco I haven't said I will never do anything frivolous again. To the contrary I absolutely will. Im just saying it's made me frightened and anxious and at the moment I can't see me doing anything busy again.

Give me a luxury log cabin in the middle of nowhere five star no expense spared and I'm there.

[Dozer]

After the terrorist attacks in London in 2006 I became v fearful of London and travelling in London. Panic attacks etc. Had some help for this specifically, and over time - a couple of years! - it subsided, to the point where anxiety almost completely disappeared, almost all of the time, only bubbling up occasionally, eg if stuck in a large, unmoving crowd underground.

[Dozer]

Your OP sounds like it could be the MH strain talking. I have a longstanding MH issue and often want to restrict what I do, but that can actually exacerbate anxiety. Also trying to mitigate negative effects of my MH issue on my DC, who will need to make their own decisions.

Being fearful / not doing stuff doesn’t necessarily make one (or one’s family) safer.

A PP mentions looking for a job outside London, which has long appealed to me, for lots of reasons, but the pay differences can be huge, eg 50%+, and housing costs in the commuterbelt are high.

[ImPeckish]

Drinking a lot now LilacTree1 well, that explains some of your posts...

[tigger1001]

I think it will be some time before I am
Comfortable being in crowds - so no concerts etc for a while.

I hope that we (meaning my family) can enjoy a slightly less hectic life than we did before and enjoy the simpler things in life.

We already shop locally for some things (butchers for example) and now have our milk delivered and will be looking to support small local businesses as much as we can

[CountFosco]

I think it is far too soon to say. We are only in the first wave, we don't know how long any immunity will last, we don't know if we'll be able to develop a vaccine (we only have short lasting immunity to other coronaviruses), but we will identify anti-virals that mean we get better at treating it. If the virus mutates to a more deadly strain things will get worse before they get better, if it mutates to a weaker form the problem will eventually go away. All of those factors will determine the long term impact on society and individuals.

I think proclaiming you will never do anything frivolous again because you now know the true meaning of life is trite. We are very good at forgetting and moving on, and it will only be in 10 or more years that we will have an idea of the impact.

Just be glad that we know as much science as we do. When AIDS was first described in the early 80s it took 2 years to identify the HIV virus and nearly 10 to sequence it and over 10 years to get effective treatments. We had the sequence of this virus in the first couple of weeks in January. We already have clinical trials underway testing the efficacy of anti-virals and vaccines. I'm a scientist in the pharmaceutical industry, every company with vaccine or antiviral expertise is focused on coronavirus at the moment. It's incredible. We will get effective treatments for this, just like we did for HIV, and the information we get from this pandemic will help society fight the next novel vaccine, just like we have applied the knowledge from HIV and Ebola and SARS and MERS to this.

[LilacTree1]

I don’t travel or eat out so that’s no odds to me

My friends who do are keen to get back to it.

[Pipandmum]

Nope. I only fly every other year so that won't change. Don't like food shopping at the best of times! I'm lucky have a big house and good sized garden, doing virtual coffee mornings so staying in hasn't been hard. Money certainly a lot tighter right now but I don't think I'm frivolous in my spending anyway, though reading some threads on here I spend much more on my grocery shop than everyone else seems to, may have a look at that.
I don't know anyone personally who has been 'cheating' the rules- we are a pretty law abiding middle aged bunch more concerned with keeping our teens fed and studying a bit and dealing with trying to keep some order in the house!
Hopefully I'll stop eating quite so much...

[WhoAmIToTellYou]

I have quit smoking for about a month now. Spending reduced to a minimum.
Focused on learning new things i never had time for otherwise.
Hope to continue with all above after this is over

[AgeLikeWine]

Probably.

In normal times I travel a lot, taking several proper holidays and many more weekends away each year. (Of course I’m lucky to be able to afford this, but I don’t spend money on stuff like shoes, handbags, hair & nails, Costa, the latest iPhone etc etc so it all evens out.)

I have been guilty of taking travel for granted but I will never, ever do so again. The first holiday after all this is over will be a very special moment and the early morning drive to the airport will feel like a privilege not a chore.

[Tiredmum100]

Honestly? No. Once this is over I'm planning on living my life again. It was going pretty well before this. If anything I plan on travelling and eating out more. Going to the beach with the kids more.

[moobar]

Interesting.

The friendships points really jumps out for me.

I'm fairly reserved anyway, but this has opened my eyes to some people. They are not who I thought they were. Very selfish and actually dangerous.

Also interesting how many of my friends have messaged me, as oppose to me them. Or not as the case may be.

I take on board the points about making big decisions now and time etc. I also appreciate my mental health is shot at moment and I'm in no place to make such decisions.

I do think a simple life will continue for me though, it was fairly that way anyway. Living on a farm we can't get away much, maybe a week or two a year max. So it's not like I was a great traveller anyway.

[MarshaBradyo]

I’m not sure yet
It feels different now but it’s hard to know what’s to happen next

[LilacTree1]

Embarrassed to say....I was prepped for disaster in terms of things like loo roll and tinned food.

But I forgot chocolate. 🤦🏽‍♀️

[Elsa8]

I think I’ll keep the cupboards well stocked now!! I hope I’ll appreciate the little things more.

[LilacTree1]

Thigh that’s interesting. In the same situation, I changed my life, but it was more about telling people to fuck off. I never slipped back.

Same here, I think the changes will be permanent for me.

[Thighmageddon]

Talk is cheap.

I've been on a ventilator before and not expected to survive. I had so many ideas in my head how I was going to change my life and in some ways I did. But not indefinitely, I slipped back to old ways eventually.

I'm not saying everyone is like this but it's very easy to have some virtuous and lofty ideals but eventually human nature takes over.

[Fishcakey]

I'm emetophobic and paranoid about Norovirus already so used to hand washing, wiping stuff etc. At the moment I am stressing but I will go back to normal when it all dies down because I always do. I am also very much enjoying not having to see people.

[VerbenaGirl]

It has renewed my appreciation for simple pleasures - coffee in a cafe, taking my Mum to the garden centre, school concerts. It hasn’t put me off going to a show or concert or anything like that. I’ll probably keep the hand washing up though.

[MilkTrayLimeBarrel]

@wanderinglost167 - because they have insidiously crept their way into every country, selling their cheap plastic tat. I don't trust them an inch and think there is much more to this whole thing than they are letting on. Bring manufacturing back to the UK.

[WanderingLost167]

Why?!