Lovely dad passed away in hospital

[IDidNotSignUpForThis]

I am heartbroken. My 74 year old father was taken into hospital two days ago suffering with Covid 19. He passed away last night with only a nurse by his bedside. My mum is ill with symptoms at home. I am beyond heartbroken. I don’t even know if we will be allowed a funeral. I cannot take it in. It doesn’t seem real.

[CrunchyCarrot]

So very sorry for your loss, OP. I do hope your mum recovers. xx

[madmumofteens]

I'm so very sorry 💔

[Nicecupofcoco]

I'm so so sorry op!

[Butterfly98]

@IDidNotSignUpForThis so sorry, RIP to your lovely Dad 💐 He'll always be with you but just in another way...

[custardtoday]

I'm so sorry to hear this. Wishing your mother recovery.

[rabbitcarrot]

Sorry for your loss

[middleager]

I'm so sorry OP

[yellowbluebell]

Sending you love x

[BurgerQuean]

I am so terribly, terribly sorry.

[TheRosesAreInBloom]

I’m so sorry OP. Two of my friends have lost their fathers this month (we’re only on the 5th!), but not to Covid. They are however dealing with the fallout of it regarding the funeral arrangements, one local crematorium allows 5 mourners at the moment, the other 10. My friends are getting through it with the thought of a fitting memorial and wake sometime in the future once this has all passed, just as LondonJax spoke of.

Hopefully mentally planning for something like this will bring you and your mum some comfort, once you have gone through the funeral process with it’s current limitations.

Thinking of you x

[TheLadyAnneNeville]

I am so very sorry. This is a terrible time.

[Dizzygirl00]

I’m so very sorry

[FiveShelties]

I am so very sorry. I hope your Mum is ok. Don't forget to take care of yourself.

[Igmum]

So sorry OP 💐💐

[CeibaTree]

I am so sorry OP, what an awful thing to happen. We lost my lovely dad in 2018 and if you've had a lovely dad like we were lucky enough to have had then it is a such a hard blow. I hope your mum makes a full recovery x

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

I'm so sorry about your dad, and you must be very worried about your mum.

Re: the funeral. At the moment (certainly in our part of the country), funerals are still being held, but limited to close family/ friends who are able to distance (we have a maximum of 15 allowed).

The service is much briefer, but having led one a week ago (I'm a Reader - Readers are licensed ministers in the C of E and many of are specifically licensed to lead funerals), I can promise you that the service is reverential and thoughtful. One of the large parts which is cut out is the eulogy, but our church provides a written eulogy for the family - what the minister would have delivered had it been possible. It isn't the farewell you would have wanted for your dad, but it is, I think, a comforting and respectful service.

We are also going to offer a memorial service for bereaved families after this crisis is over, and I imagine that other churches will be doing the same. I'm sure you will be invited when the danger is over.

Holding you and your mum in my prayers at this moment.

[Chosennone]

so sorry for your loss. Xx

[Iwant2move]

I am so sorry. How utterly devastating.xxx

[Hooleywhipper]

I can’t find the right words OP just I am so very sorry. It is an unimaginable situation, please accept my condolences.

[Littlemiss74]

So very sorry xxxx

[LondonJax]

I'm so sorry about your dad. I hope your mum begins to improve. I can't give you words to take away this pain - it must be awful for you and all you can do is be kind to yourself and do whatever you can for your mum.

It's very hard at the moment with regard to funerals. My mum died at the beginning of March - not from Covid 19 so we were incredibly lucky and were with her at time.

Her funeral is in late April, it's a very long process to get dates at the moment in some areas.

Mum's funeral won't be the one we had planned for her (we knew she was ill for a while and she'd told her wishes years ago). We can't have a wake - nowhere to hold it is open and, even if we could get somewhere, you can't have a gathering now. We already made the decision that it was immediate family only before the lockdown took hold as two of the family children have health issues so we can't take the chance.

The crematorium has asked that each individual family (i.e. me and my family, my sister and her family etc) sit 2 metres apart, spread around the chapel. So we've had to get a recorded choir piece for the hymn she requested as 12 of us just can't make the noise that a huge family could.

And, of course, we can't get flowers. Many florists have shut, some can't guarantee what they can get that far in advance. So we've tracked down a silk floral tribute and her coffin will have that and only that. It seems that, as you overcome one issue, another pops up. Like the flowers - we didn't even think about the fact that flowers aren't essentials! It's a funeral, you don't even think that flowers aren't 'essential'. I know many people will say 'you're being ridiculous' but the flowers became a huge thing for us - we were trying to fulfil her wishes even through we knew mum would tell us we were daft to even try. Someone's death is all consuming. You feel so lost that just being able to get the funeral 'right' feels like you have some sort of control. And now you can't even have that.

However, we've already spoken to our local minister about a memorial (or thanksgiving for the life of) service next year when, hopefully, all of this is over. We'll make that mum's proper service and it will be full of the people who meant so much to her, she'll have the flowers she requested and a huge wake to celebrate the time we had with her. It's something positive to plan, to work towards.

This is an awful time and my heart goes out to you. Once it settles down, try to go with the flow - it's the only way we've managed. You can't change this, you can't let it overwhelm you. We've just had to shrug at each stop in the road, take a breath and recite our mantra 'we'll give her that at the memorial' - which we will.

I do hope your mum gets better quickly. My thoughts are with you.

[blackistheneworange]

I'm so sorry.

[Yallreadyforthis]

So, so sorry

[Rewy]

I am so sorry

[HeidiHoNeighbour]

I’m so sorry.
We lost a family member too and the funeral only allowed ten people.
It means you can’t grieve properly.
Knowing that once we’re allowed out again we’ll be having a proper send off does help.