To still let my DC stay at grandparents tonight?

[StephanieSpeilberg]

DC is due to stay at grandparents tonight. Both only in their early 50s and have no symptoms or issues.

Mum will pick her up from my house, she will go into the car, out at the other end and stay in the house, until mum puts her back in the car tomorrow and she gets out here. No contact with anyone but grandparents.

I’m 50/50 on whether to go ahead with it though. WWYD?

(She hasn’t been sleeping well at all recently and DH and I need to sleep, we’re really beginning to struggle and the night off is tempting, but then I feel very selfish.)

Hard hat is on

[Bedroomdilemma]

What age is your DD?

[BadedasBubbles]

Why not? If they were teachers they would be mixing with hundreds of kids his week. 50 is not elderly.

[StephanieSpeilberg]

And no, they have no health issues. In fact they are fitter than DH and I, they are health nuts, a gene that seems to have skipped me!

[StephanieSpeilberg]

Honestly she’s normally a great sleeper, it’s just a phase, we’re not at sleep training stage just yet. Hoping it passes quite quickly. Yes we have earplugs etc to try and get one through the night, but it’s hard when one is up, it’s like your body is on constant alert.

Erm, @bemoreeverything, congratulations I suppose. My family just runs a bit differently to yours my parents want to help us. It’s our first child and they have the time and capacity to provide help.

[shutupsteph]

I can't fathom why people are having trouble with this.

Yes, you are being hugely selfish. How would you feel if DC unknowingly infected your parents and they were seriously ill or worse?

[AgentCooper]

They’re only early 50s they aren’t in an at risk group unless they have some underlying health issues. Kids are still in schools with teachers of that age and older.
The at risk group is not “grandparents” it’s “over 70”

This. I feel like some folk are getting off on telling people they’re stupid. If OP’s DD is only in contact with her parents and grandparents, grandparents being nowhere near elderly, and then both parents and grandparents are being sensible and minimising contact with anyone outside this group then is that not OK?

[bemoreeverything]

Oh god, I wouldn't have sent any of my D.C. to sleep at grandparents if they were not sleeping properly in the first place. I mean it's tough, don't get me wrong. One of mine was bloody 7 before she sleepy through the night, but I wouldn't have let her sleep over anywhere unless she actually slept.

[Bluetrews25]

Can you look into sleep training?
We all really need to stay in our own homes as much as possible.

[FatimaLovesBread]

What about if you've already had CV and you and children have self isolated for 14 days?
Would it be "safer" for children to go to grandparents then? Not over 70 btw

[Windyone]

@StephanieSpeilberg it is fine for her to stay with your early 50s parents.

[Ninkanink]

Maybe do two nights on, two nights off - any way where each of you will get a proper uninterrupted sleep will help a lot. It’s tough for the two nights you’re on but you get to have a catch up every two nights which makes a huge difference. Have you got ear plugs?

[StephanieSpeilberg]

She’s just going through a not sleeping phase @ninkanink. It’s been a really tough one, waking when she’s put down, waking at 3am and staying awake until 5am, with broken sleep between 7-3. We’re trying to split the wakes and the nights, but the problem is you never catch up.

We’re just exhausted and I was clutching to the prospect of a good nights sleep, but knew it wasn’t the right thing to do, hence why I asked.

Thanks for asking.

[Windyone]

They’re only early 50s they aren’t in an at risk group unless they have some underlying health issues. Kids are still in schools with teachers of that age and older.
The at risk group is not “grandparents” it’s “over 70”.

[Vinylsamso]

They are 50. A 50 year old is allowed to go out and mix with who they want atm.

My mum would rather die than not see her children or Grandchildren. It’s her choice. If your parents are cool with it, I don’t see the problem.

50 is not elderly!!

[Ninkanink]

Why is she keeping you both up?

If you’re both desperate for sleep then take turns one night on, one night off.

[StephanieSpeilberg]

Yes you’re all right. I knew this would be the answer, I think I just needed to hear it properly. Thanks for stern words.

Will cancel.

I’m sure people will continue to call me an idiot but not much I can do about that!

[bemoreeverything]

For what reason? Genuine question. You haven't said why she would need to stay with grandparents.

[LangClegsInSpace]

Fucking stop it.

[PanamaPattie]

😳

[Thescrewinthetuna]

No. No. No.

[magicstar1]

It’s like banging your head on a brick wall sometimes...

[Ninkanink]

I am perfectly sanguine about this. We’ve hunkered down, and my grown up daughters (one of whom is quite vulnerable) have hunkered down.

What will be, will be, and I’m not going to panic.

However, it doesn’t help when I seem to be surrounded by hundreds of thousands of idiots who are determined to ensure that as many people as possible are put in direct danger.

I’m not actually all that worried for us - we’ll very likely be just fine - but I feel tremendous sadness for the many people who won’t get out of this alive. And for their families, many of whom are not allowed to sit with their loved ones or see them or say goodbye before they die.

Think about that.

It’s NOT just about you and your husband and your sleep, or your justifications about why you should be a special case.

[mnthrowaway202020]

I mean you’re only risking the lives of your own family? If you don’t care if they potentially die, why should anyone else? You’re not doing much to stop the virus spreading are you?

You’re going to have many sleepless nights coming up unfortunately. One good night’s sleep won’t help anything long term because your daughter will come back and still be restless

[BobbyBlueCat]

Jesus Christ.....

[TheoneandObi]

Well, notwithstanding the fact that they're not actually elderly grandparents (my age by the sounds of it!), having them stay over is hardly limiting social contact is it? So on that point, no.