9DPO Symptom Spotting

[unCliche]

Hey @ButterscotchBabe! Continuing our chat here 😁

I loooove that your temps did exactly what mine did too. So good that AF hasn't arrived at CD26!! Happy for you! When your temps increased last month, was it is to a gradual high or did it jump up again and then AF started? Because if this pattern is new, it could mean good news!

Ours definitely look like the beginning of a triphasic chart. My temps last month started dropping at 7DPO, so it still being high at 9DPO is such an achievement for me and no sign of AF either although my vulva feels AF'y in a weird way. My pulse and breathing rate have also continued to shoot up!! If temps don't tell you AF is coming, pulse rate defo will because it always starts falling a few days before AF for me.

I do suspect chemical but no BFP so can't confirm and nothing else changed that cycle so I can't explain it. Hormones were defo the reason I never took the pill, it plays such a big part in changing your reproductive cycle that of course it would have an affect on cycles after you come off them! 45 day cycles sound like a nightmare - especially when TTC too.

I do have a FRER! I'm always so scared to use it though. I always use rubbish ICs which probably aren't the best thing but I will use my FRER with you!

I like predicting what my temps will do with DH. What do you think will happen tomorrow? I think both our temps will go up again 😆

[unCliche]

You must be super close to ovulation now? I'm due to ovulate next week Thursday or Friday! They'll still be a few days between us but we'll probably be in the TWW together again! DH and I started DTD yesterday, so we'll probably do it every 2 days and maybe everyday when I get my +ve OPK.

How does it feel not tracking temps and taking a break this cycle? I've started wearing my Ava bracelet again and taking soy too! Hoping for a double ovulation!

Have you heard back regarding the consultation? I got a letter from the NHS about a telephone appointment to discuss my referral for IVF in January! Exciting stuff! Hopefully we'll be referred around the same time and won't have to wait long!

Ah! Didn't realise how painful your periods could get! The HyFoSy was my first experience of super pain in that region and I was just thinking whether that was how it felt for some women every month! I actually know some women who get hospitalised from the pain so it's probably worse than what I experienced with the HyFoSy!!

I think you'll be surprised with how you respond to IVF meds. Your ovarian reserve doesn't sound terrible to me!! It's not amazing but I don't think it's that bad! Plus it might not paint the full picture. My FSH was 8.3 and if I recall correctly, your FSH wasn't too far from that and I have loads of eggs! So don't put too much weight on one number!

I did do the allergy test! Well, it was an intolerance test. Not sure how much I believe it though! I'll have to send you the full report!

I didn't make much stationery. I made the wedding booklet but never sent out invitations, I took RSVPs online! I also designed the seating chart and table names then got those printed. I'm looking forward to seeing how yours turn out!

Not sure I'll get the booster either. I don't get the flu jab so I can't imagine I'd need the COVID one either. How's your chest pain? Did it start since getting vaccinated?

Haha 1st October is here and I haven't made anything!!! Terrible! I need to order more stuff like zippers, lining material, etc.

How did prep for the interview go? Hope you're not too snowed under? Are you feeling confident? Good luck with it! You've got this!

[ButterscotchBabe]

I'm CD6 today so if your af starts tomorrow we'll be a week apart! Has spotting started yet?

It's very stressful just hearing nothing from the fertility clinic, I had the MRI a month ago now and I have no idea how or when I'll get the results. DP reckons it's gonna be another 8 weeks!

I hope you're relieved knowing that your tubes weren't fully open, as appearing to be the epitome of health was frustrating! Now your tubes have been cleared it's given you hope again 😀. Fingers crossed it happens in the next 3 months 🤞🤞

I do have very painful periods, I've been on prescription codeine for many years. My AMH and FSH scores are not normal for my age and indicate a diminished ovarian reserve. That could only happen due to the damage caused by the peritonitis. So I am expecting very bad results but expect the worst and then anything better feels like a positive outcome!

Did you do the allergy test?

Aww lovely, I think we'll probably put up some wedding pics when we have them! Haha the only other pic we have of us is in the bedroom, on DPs bedside table 😊. Yes I can imagine us taking thousands of pics of our kids 🤣🤣

I'm making some wedding stationery and ordering some, it's too much to make it all! Did you make all of yours? Bridesmaids were okay about the dresses but I've ended up swapping the MOH and Bridesmaids dresses, as they preferred each others!

Wow that's strange you had such a bad reaction to the vaccine! Hope you're okay now and haven't experienced those symptoms since? I probably won't have the booster, I've had random sharp pains in my chest, no idea if it's to do with the vaccine but I just think I'd rather not have it. Do you think you'll get it if offered?

1st of October is really close now!! How you getting on with making products?

[Littlemisscl]

Some advice needed please. This month I had brown spotting for 2 days instead of a period. My husband and I have had two rounds of IVF and sadly both failed. My his and has low morphology, but could I have conceive naturally? Has anyone else had this brown spotting and been in this situation? Any advance would be greatly appreciated.

[unCliche]

We're finally in the TWW together! Got my ovulation pain on the evening of CD15. Ovulated from my left side this cycle. I think there must be 6 days between us right now if I'm 2DPO and you're 8DPO. DH and I have continued to abstain... Not that I've gotten the urge anyway... I hadn't felt any pre-ovulation pain prior to CD15 so I thought I'd either ovulate late or that my previous pains were all in my head because I was actively focused on my body, but nope, the ovulation pain came all the same at the right time.

Have you heard anything back about the consultation? How long will you leave it before you chase them? Let's hope it's not another 12 weeks, that would be a ridiculous length of time to get results for a procedure. They should let you know within a week, even if they have to call you on the phone. They shouldn't be allowed to keep you in the dark about your body for so long, it can cause stress!

I'd be happier if I knew the reason behind why we weren't getting pregnant. I'm tried of everything being fine. How can I be the epitome of health yet my body doesn't act like it! I'd love to conceive naturally, but it's been 13 cycles, something must be wrong.

Oh, ouch. This time around they didn't put any fluid into your tubes right as it was an MRI and not an X-Ray? I should remember to take drugs beforehand in case it's painful for me too. DH will be coming with me, so he'll get to see the future home of his unborn children 🏠 After the hyfosy, I wonder what will happen next if I don't conceive in the next 3 - 4 cycles. I'm thinking about taking soy again to boost my chances of a hyperovulation so I can have twins and never TTC again!

I don't think you'd have extensive damage. I'm sure if it was that extensive, they would have been able to see it through an ultrasound. Plus you'd probably have very painful periods. You'll be able to carry your own baby and use your own eggs, don't worry about that! You ovulate every cycle so that's already half the battle won.

I just don't want to be diagnosed with unexplained infertility. I've bought an allergy test to see if maybe something I'm allergic to is causing inflammation inside me.

Yeaah, we have two photos of us on canvas, gifted by my cousin. We have them displayed in our living room, although I do kind of find them cringe 😂 I'm not really a photos-around-the-house person, but maybe when I have kids, I'd have their photos plastered everywhere. Do you guys have any romantics photos of yourself in the house? I only remember seeing your baby pics - so cute 🥰

Oh wow, you really do still have loads to do! Will you be making your own stationery? How do your bridesmaids feel about their dresses?

My second jab took me out completely! I didn't even take the day after off work because I thought I'd be fine but I literally felt like I was having a psychotic episode that night. My thoughts and heart were racing. My head was pounding. I was cold and hot and sweating and shivering. I couldn't sleep. I just couldn't relax my body. Then the next morning when I woke up, I felt like shit but thought I'd power through it. But ended up falling asleep and waking up at the end of the work day 😂😂😂 I think you had a lucky escape both times. I never get ill so this was so strange for me to experience. Going forward, booster shots may need to be given, do you think you'll get them?

I have a launch date for my business of 1st Oct but might need to shift it as I don't even have the materials I need to make any of the products! I'm actually starting to feel nervous.

[ButterscotchBabe]

Still haven't heard back about my MRI results, I don't know if the consultant will be calling me or if I'll get a letter for a consultation. It will probably be another 12 weeks just to get the results 😔.

Would you be happier if they said your tubes were clear or if they were blocked? Arguably it's easier if they're blocked as then you'll go straight to IVF but you'll never conceive naturally.

Yes I had a HSG many years ago, the result was 'inconclusive' 🤷 but the procedure was very painful which normally means there's something in the tubes. If your tubes are clear then it shouldn't hurt.

I wouldn't say I'm in a better position, I could have extensive damage to my ovaries or womb which would mean I'd need donor eggs or may not be able to carry a pregnancy at all. But I appreciate them not being able to find the cause is very frustrating. You've still got more investigations to go yet and some issues aren't found until you go through the IVF process. One way of looking at it, is if they can't find anything wrong, then there shouldn't be anything to prevent the IVF from working 🙂.

Ah I see! It's lovely to have photos in real life and not just on a screen 😊. Have you had any framed or put onto a canvas?

My Mum has lots of photo albums of us as kids, I have couple which she made for me, using the photos she didn't want 😂😂.

Wedding planning isn't finished yet, the main details and suppliers are booked but I still need to sort invitations, wedding dress, bridesmaids dresses, stationery, rings, groomsmen outfits, background music and hen do! I'm sure there's other things as well... 😂

How are you feeling since having the 2nd jab? Did you get many side effects? I was told side effects are worse with the 2nd but I actually found I had less. I felt worse after the 1st one.

[unCliche]

Oooops!! Keep forgetting to respond here!!

Thank goodness I've quit taking HPTs, I haven't had to buy any for months! But there are definitely women who probably take tests every single cycle. I just don't think the heartbreak is worth it!

You're lucky. My old GP in the town centre would have a queue of people on the phone waiting to probably book a same day appointment that by the time you get through, it's too late! The app was really useful, I hope they bring back the booking system as it's a much efficient way to do things.

Have you been able to sort out an appointment with your consultant? I'm quite keen to find out what they saw inside you. I'm also keen to find out what they'll see inside me! What if I was born with no fallopian tubes 😱 At least you have tubes! The 16th can't come soon enough!! I'm thinking about taking my remaining cyclogest pessaries during the cycle after the HyFoSy! Only issue is if I run out then I'd be stuck!

The xray you had, was it a HSG? Maybe if your tubes are clear then it might help you get pregnant.

I hate that everything seems to be physically and even hormonally normal with me 😠 it really frustrates me that there's nothing obvious wrong, which means it could be something difficult to find and fix - and that's definitely something I don't want to go through. You're in a much better position as you know what's wrong so your expectations can be managed. Quite surprised that my FSH was 8.3 as my AMH is so high. But I'm not too worried about the number because every scan I've had my AFC has always been 20+.

It took ages to get the album because it took me over a year to actually select the photos I wanted. I kept forgetting, then when I finally remembered, the album came in like a month! Awesome you'll be getting an album too! It's a good thing to show guests when they visit. I feel like my parents, bringing out the photo album for guests to look at 😂 Do you have any childhood photo albums? I have a few at my parents.

Yeaah I'm sure the hospital can't force you to transfer an embryo before you're ready! Maybe if you offer money to freeze the embryos then they'd allow it. It's definitely worth asking in good time. Have you finished your wedding planning?

Not sure what all the dryness was about! I've never experienced anything like that before! It's probably just my stupid body being weird.

Double jabbed and ready to sleep! 😴😴😴

[ButterscotchBabe]

Haha I wonder how many HPT's we've taken throughout our lives... probably hundreds 😂😂. Those companies must be minted!

Here you can only get a same day, face to face appointment if you call first thing. You can book a telephone consultation online but there's normally a few days wait. However whenever I've called, I've always been able to get a same day appointment. That's cool your GP surgery used to have an app that showed cancellations, shame they stopped that with covid, I don't know why though??

Hopefully you'll get the results soon from the sexual health clinic! Yeh we have one in the city centre, not near the hospital. Haven't used it in quite a while though, so I don't know what their appointments are like now.

Are you going to continue to perfect the make-up bag or try something different? I was planning on making Christmas cards but I'm feeling quite demoralised after seeing the wedding stuff not sell 😔.

Oh wow howcome it took so long to get the wedding album? Or did you order it after the wedding? It sounds lovely, you'll have to show me when we come and see you in October 😀. Yes we've ordered a wedding album in the package with our photographer 😊.

Haha aww I'm really looking forward to you coming wedding dress shopping with me! You'll have to be honest, you can't tell me I look good if I don't! I've told MOH she needs to be brutally honest as well 😂😂.

DP doesn't want me to chase the MRI results because he doesn't want things to move too quickly due to the wedding. But if things were able to move quickly, I could do the egg collection but freeze all and have the transfer after. Not sure if the NHS would allow that but I can ask.

Glad you managed to find a cure to your dryness 😂😂😂. I've never had dryness, I often have the opposite!

[unCliche]

I think the tingly-burny sensation is from dryness. I am sooo dry down there, like there's no lubrication at all 😭 My CM (or lack of) is drying me out. Do you ever get dryness? What does it usually feel like for you? It's so uncomfy!

[unCliche]

I think I'll learn from your experience and just not bother with HPTs ever. Maybe I'll believe it when I go into a surprise labour in 9 months.

Yeah, with covid, you first have to have a telephone consultation. That can take anywhere between a few days to a few weeks. But before covid, face to face appointments weren't something you could get quickly unless you called first thing in the morning. The app used to be good too as you could find cancellations and book one in last minute without having to call in. Covid ruined that. You're lucky there isn't too much demand on your GP. Is it normal to get next day appointments?

I booked in my FSH and LH blood test today. The hospital has an online system and there was lots of availability. I could even book one in for tomorrow. The sexual health clinic used to do a walk-in service, so I'm sure they're trying to see people as soon as possible like how they used to. However since my issue isn't urgent, I'm sure they didn't need to book me in so quickly, but I guess since my HyFoSy is dependant on it, they didn't want to keep me waiting. Do you have a local sexual health clinic?

I've never had a yeast infection before but how my lady bits feel right now is how I imagine it must feel! My labia minora is kind of tingly-burny.

I'll send a pic of my last makeup bag attempt. I think it's only a matter of time before someone buys something. Your newer items are much more luxurious than your greeting cards, yet people bought those. I know wedding items can't be impulse buys but I'm sure interest is growing! What will you be doing in the meantime while you wait for things to sell?

My wedding photo album arrived today! It's came in a very heavy wooden box and the album cover is a beautiful brown suede and the pages are thick cardboard - no wonder it cost a fortune! But I think DH and I are pleased with it. Will you be having a wedding album made?

I'm so excited to come wedding dress shopping with you! I promise I'll step into the role of the over-emotional friend who cries at everything you wear and tells you how amazing you look!

Yeah, my boobs hurt mildly. Perhaps as the days progress they'll start getting sorer. I'm happy with how comfortable the pain is because it definitely could be worse.

Annoying. What is her 44 year old body doing that our under-35 year old bodies can't!!🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁

I'm thinking about taking next week off work to do nothing. Have you taken much annual leave this year? I'm struggling to find good enough reasons to take time off work.

Also how was your X-ray (I'll definitely be asking you this in real life but I want to knoooooow!!)

[ButterscotchBabe]

Yes af has finished now, although only just, I was still getting a light flow yesterday. I don't know what to expect now in cycles going forward, I probably won't do a HPT again until 14DPO in future.

Yeh I suppose there's not as much to say on here now that we talk off Mumsnet 😂.

As we live in a village I think it's easier to get a face to face doctors appointment, although with the amount of house building in the area, it won't stay like that! Would you have to wait two weeks where you are?

I was surprised you managed to get seen so quickly at the sexual health clinic! Hopefully they won't leave you waiting too long for the results.

Once I've made a sale I'll start making more stuff like place names and other signs, I just need to make some money back now! How you getting on with the make-up bag, you said you were trying something different?

All it takes is once! The amount of people who say they "accidentally" got pregnant proves that! Have your boobs started hurting yet? If that doesn't happen soon, then there's definitely a change in your hormones!

Yeh it sucks seeing lots of celebs having babies at the moment! I also saw presenter Alex Jones had her 3rd baby at 44! 🙄

[unCliche]

I'm guessing AF must be over now! What a rollercoaster of a cycle for you! Your whole cycle actually resembled something normal, minus all the spotting! Let's hope this is the start of longer LPs and greater fertility.

We talk so much in real life, I forget about mumsnet! 😂

3 more days until you find out! Are you nervous about what they'll tell you? It might not be as bad as you think it'll be. You're really lucky you were able to see the doctor about your ear grommets so quickly. How did you manage that?? It's impossible to see a GP face to face in 2 weeks, let alone a day! But at least that's one less thing to worry about now!

I called the sexual health clinic on Friday but they said they had a huge backlog and I should call again on Monday. So I'll do that and see if I can go in some time next week. Hopefully they offer same day appointments too. The walk-in system worked well, although you'd have to wait hours to be seen but at least you knew you'd be seen that very day. Now with covid, everything is a mess and taking longer.

I've seen you've added all your products onto your etsy shop! It's looking great! How's the place names coming along? I haven't been able to do much craft this weekend as my friend is here and I don't want to be antisocial - not that she'd mind anyway! I can't believe how much this makeup bag is stumping me. Maybe I should focus my efforts on something else and launch without makeup bags to begin with.

I've only DTD once this cycle so not really expecting anything. 4/5DPO today so if anything actually did happen, I'll start feeling something in the next few days. Really strange that my CM went from EWCM to stretchy/sticky and now I think it's actually starting to turn sticky/creamy. I've never had that before so my hormone levels must be slightly different this cycle!

I feel like every time I go on social media, there's a new baby being born. Why is it so easy to get pregnant and yet our bodies are completely failing at it 😞 At this rate I probably won't end up with a 2022 baby either.

[ButterscotchBabe]

So turns out it's my longest LP ever! Really odd with the high temps and spotting but I guess I'll never know the cause!

If my tubes are fine then they might want me to try Clomid first but I think they're bound to find something wrong on the MRI. It won't be long now before I find out! It will be nice to finally have an answer, hopefully it's something treatable.

Have you managed to get an appointment/test for the Trichomoniasis?

I wouldn't say DP is super responsible but he's more healthy than me, so if he's away I take advantage of being able to eat/drink/do what I want without judgement 😂😂.

I'm so glad Float is okay and back to his cheeky ways 😂. You'll have to think of a more permanent solution to stopping him from getting under the sofas.

Harrods or Selfridges would be amazing although most shopping is online now, so places like ASOS, Very or Next might be better ones to aim for!

No more Etsy sales yet, I'm hoping one day someone will order several items for a whole matching set! Next on the list to make is place names.

Did you manage to DTD again today? Hopefully your cm tomorrow will confirm if ovulation has happened.

[unCliche]

I'm having a back to back double sided ovulation right now. Ovulating two eggs with none getting fertilised feels like such a stab in the back ovary. It's like my body is taunting me 😪 so unfair.

[unCliche]

Can't believe AF still hasn't started for you and you still have high temps. I wonder what's going on in your body??

What if the clinic says your tubes are fine so they won't be recommending IVF until you've tried xyz? They might put you on clomid or something for a few months.

Yeah, I think they only check for the dangerous ones. Trich doesn't really do anything but I guess as it's bacterial, it could cause damage in its own way. I'm just waiting for my health insurance people to call me and schedule me in for a test at a hospital. If not, I'll order an online test and do it that way.

Haha! Is your DP the super responsible one? Yesterday I did absolutely nothing, except almost kill my rabbit 😭 I kept having flashbacks of Float convulsing on the floor 😭 What a terrible evening. He's fine now and back to causing trouble. DH said I can't have hit his head because the broom stick was against the floor so he must have just been really terrified 😭😭😭 I can't believe I did that. I usually did that to get him and his brother out from under the sofa but this is the first time things went awry.

I think maybe I'll start off selling on my website. I don't know if I'd get much traction through other platforms. Maybe one day I'll have my products in shops like Harrods, House of Fraser, etc 😁

How are your ads coming along? Good to hear you've been getting some interest. It's just a matter of time before all your stuff gets bought!

[ButterscotchBabe]

Yeh so strange to be spotting for so long! I'll do an IC if af hasn't arrived tomorrow morning.

If my tubes are clear then in theory it could happen naturally but I've had unprotected sex for 8 years (with 3 long term partners) and not fell pregnant, so there's clearly something wrong. I'll be pushing to go ahead with IVF regardless of the outcome of the MRI.

That's good the clutch bag shouldn't be too difficult! You'll soon have your own little empire 😀😀

That's strange the swab at the clinic doesn't test for Trichomoniasis, I hadn't heard of it but apparently it's very common. When I've had STD tests, I think they've only checked for Chlamydia and Gonorrheoa. Well done for arranging a test, as it's private you'll probably get the results quite quickly, so you shouldn't need to postpone the HyFosy.

"Await his arrival" 😂😂 DP doesn't go away often but before covid when he did, I generally had very lazy days, ate bad food and stayed in bed for ages! It's kinda like being a teenager again, when your parents are away 😂😂😂.

I haven't done any crafts today, I planned on being productive but it didn't happen 😂😂. Thanks for that link, I'll check it out! I was also considering selling on Not On The High Street. Do you think you'll sell your items on any other platforms, or just your own website?

[unCliche]

Oh that's interesting. Can't believe how long you've been spotting for and AF hasn't started properly yet. Have you done anymore HPTs? I still have hope, even if you don't. You'll definitely be beating the odds if you do end up pregnant. I'd have to come down and celebrate with you!

You're so brave. I'd be feeling very apprehensive too. So basically, IVF is the only way for you to conceive regardless of where the fluid is or isn't? If your tubes are clear, could it still potentially happen naturally?

I've watched videos and it seems making a clutch bag shouldn't be too difficult. There are actually some similarities to the makeup bag so I'm thinking I'll be able to get the hang of it pretty quickly. I've ordered some bits and bobs, so I'll have a go once everything I need arrives.

Haha no, not me babysitting, although I wouldn't mind! But just a night where she could sleep for however long she wanted and do whatever she wanted. I know it was meant innocently but it's still saddening. But it's ok. I'd probably feel the same way as I love my sleep too much!

STD test went fine. I remembered when I had my colposcopy that the doctor casually mentioned I had a strawberry cervix, so I googled it and apparently it's caused by Trichomoniasis (trich), which is an STD. At the time, the doctor didn't even say if it was something I should be concerned about so I didn't worry about it until I did further research on Friday. The swab I did at the clinic won't check for trich and I won't be able to have the HyCoSy done until I'm cleared for all infections. So I booked a private GP appointment on the same day and spoke to a doctor who said she didn't think I had anything to worry about as I didn't have any other symptoms but she'd refer me for a urine test to check for trich. So I'll probably get that done privately so that I don't have to wait for the NHS and then postpone my HyCoSy. I'm also thinking it could just be because I have HPV as the doctor wasn't concerned.

DH is in Manchester today, returning tomorrow, so I'm home alone! I might just stay in bed all day and await his arrival 😂

Have you continued doing crafts today? I think you should put your stuff on here: emporella.com/
I remember they launched some time last year and they popped up on my facebook page and they seem to be doing well, and as they're wedding focused and probably not as saturated as Etsy, it may work for you.

[ButterscotchBabe]

Temp still high this morning but spotting has got a bit heavier so I reckon it's the start of af. I've put a tampon in, so I'll know later when I take it out.

The thought of having that surgery is scary but if it's my only chance of having a child, then I feel I'm left with no choice. If the MRI shows fluid in my tubes, then the surgery will be to cut the tubes, so that the womb is sealed. If I press ahead without having the tubes cut and there is fluid leaking into my womb, this will reduce the success rate of the IVF by 30%. The best outcome would be if the fluid is just around the ovary (where they've already seen it) and not in the tubes, then I might be able to have IVF without needing the tubes cut. I don't think they're able to reduce/stop the fluid.

Hopefully a clutch bag wouldn't be too difficult to make, have you made one before? If not, maybe you could use what you learnt with the make-up bag to help.

When she said she would like a night without her baby, was she suggesting you could babysit? Or just saying she wanted a break? Right now that's difficult to hear but when our babies are waking us up every night, potentially for years, we'll probably want a night without them 😂.

Hope the STD check was all okay! Definitely worth trying after the HyCosy as the fluid will clear your tubes out, so it should make it easier for the sperm and egg to meet.

[unCliche]

I'm so excited to wake up tomorrow to find out what your HPT says! And here's us thinking because of your high FP temps, your LP temps won't go higher, but here they are, pretty high!

I have everything crossed that it's good news. At least one of us should get some good luck!

Annoying that your priority for the MRI can't be increased but it's such a good idea to ask to be put on the waiting list for the laparoscopy! Hopefully your MRI happens before your laparoscopy appointment is due! Ok, makes sense why they want to be 100% sure with you. How are you feeling about such a potentially life-changing procedure? What exactly will the surgery do? Remove the fluid?

The metal on the makeup bag gets added at the end so no issue sewing around it. I've decided to scrap the document folder and maybe make a clutch bag instead. Not sure I'll do any other headwear for now. Let's see what the demand is like.

Spent the evening with my old neighbours today. Let's call the girl Opal and the boy Jay because it's long referring to them as old neighbours. It was good seeing them. I felt a bit sad when Opal said that she'd like one night without her baby as I'd love one night (and more) with my own baby. But it's ok as I don't want kids anymore!

DH and I will be using the withdrawal method going forward. He wants to try after my HyCoSy but if my tubes are fine and they're not the problem, then I don't think I'd want to waste my time. I'm going to the hospital tomorrow for an STD test. Fun. Imagine if I have a 3 year old STD.

[ButterscotchBabe]

As I'm 9DPO I thought it would be appropriate to do some symptom spotting 😂

I've had a pretty weird cycle this month, high FP temps, then on 7 & 8DPO I've had brown spotting which I never normally get that early. That typically starts on 9/10DPO then af starts the next day. I've also had cramps since 7DPO which is unusual. No sign of af this morning and no more spotting yet.

Yesterday I assumed af was gonna start because of the spotting, so I put a tampon in. When I took it out there was some spotting but also some very thick, gummy white cm, which I haven't seen before.

9 months ago I would have taken these new symptoms/changes as definite signs but I've learnt that nothing leads to a BFP! If my temp is still high tomorrow then I might do a HPT but I probably won't waste a FRER until 11DPO.

[ButterscotchBabe]

This cycle has been really strange, I've had spotting and cramps today which is unusual for 7DPO. I normally have a 10/11 day LP now so I'll be pretty disappointed if af comes early.

I don't believe you feel fine about not having children but if it helps to think in that way, then you gotta do what keeps you sane! These last 11 months have not been wasted, you've still led a normal life (as far as covid allows), what has TTC stopped you doing?

The fertility consultant called me yesterday as I'd emailed asking questions about the MRI. She can't increase the priority of my MRI because fertility is not considered urgent unless you're a cancer patient. But she did agree to put me on the waiting list for Laparoscopy/key-hole surgery, so that once I have the MRI, I'm not then starting a new waiting list for the surgery. She couldn't advise on the effects of the contrast MRI, as far as they know it's safe. In normal times she could have offered me an appointment with a radiologist, who will know more about it but waiting lists for everything are huge at the moment. So I don't really have any choice but to wait and go ahead with it when I can. Because the surgery on me is risky (could result in a stoma bag) she wants to be absolutely sure I have a hydrosalpinx before taking that risk, which is fair enough.

I think your bonnet looked lovely! Will you make any other headwear? You could do headbands and scrunchies? That's a good idea, metal will give the make-up bags more structure but could be difficult to sew around?

I don't have any proper hard card to make the sign stand up, so I may need to purchase some. I keep spending money on materials and hardly anything's selling. So I'm gonna wait until I've sold a guestbook before making the sign. I've now got to spend more money making the boxes fit! 🤦 Aww if I'm still making them in 9 years time, I'll gift you one for your vow renewal 😊.

Definitely go ahead with the IVF, you've got nothing to lose and the earlier you do it, the best quality eggs you will have.

[unCliche]

I feel like I've mourned the loss of a future I'll never have and I've accepted childlessness. Not sure DH is on board, but he'll get over it. I feel fine about it tbh!

I feel like the last 11 months have been a waste too and I might as well not have wasted my time. I really want to believe it will happen but life will find some way to prove me right again and again. I wish maybe I had some chemicals then at least we'd know that something somewhere was working but, not even a single one means that my reproductive system could be absolutely fucked. But I've come to accept it and life moves on 😊

You on the other hand I completely support! I know things will work out for you because... I just know! Unknown long term side effects doesn't sound good at all! And the studies haven't followed recipients of the procedure over a long period of time? Hopefully there's nothing to it. We get exposed to all sorts in our lives so maybe it's just one of those things that won't do any damage. But who knows! But is this the only method to check for fluid in your tubes? Couldn't they put a camera up you to check? I'm sure there are other things that can be done?? Or couldn't they just assume the worst and work with your body based on that? You've had two scans that suspect the same thing, why does it need to be 100% conclusive if two separate people have said the same thing. That sounds pretty conclusive to me!

Your temps are going up nicely so you're well on your way to the implantation zone! I'll definitely be following your cycle, but I won't be tracking mine so won't have anything to share! AF is pretty much finished so I guess I'll be waiting for the next one to start!

I've started working on making satin lined bonnets for curly/coily haircare. I'm trying different methods but so far I've only made one that I don't really care for. It looks fine but I don't think the techniques used is good enough for a mid-range product. Maybe if I was selling cheaper bonnets it would be fine. I've ordered some metal hardware for the makeup bags, I'll have to show you when they get here! But I think it would really take things to the next level!

How are you thinking of making the sign? Will it be made out of paper too? I'm sure your guestbook will sell very soon. It's so pretty 😍 maybe I'll get married again so I can buy it!

Perhaps it's just Reading then that has rules like that. I'll have to ask how long the IVF waiting list is although I don't think my eggs will be good enough so I'm in half a mind about whether we should put ourselves through it.

[ButterscotchBabe]

Don't be silly, you can do this! It's a difficult journey but we've got each other and we will get our prize at the end!

I understand if you want to stop "trying" but don't use contraception, that's not going to make you feel better. You're doing something to yourself that you know will harm you (psychologically). You want to punish your body because it's not working properly but ultimately doing that will harm you more. You'll be so upset with yourself a few months down the line, knowing you've wasted cycles where you potentially could have conceived. 80% of couples get pregnant within 1 year, by the 2nd year 90% are pregnant. So maybe you're just in the 10% that it takes over a year. You'll be able to start IVF in a few months, so it will happen either way 😊.

For the contrast MRI they inject you with Gadolinium which is a metal. They previously thought this was all expelled in your urine by your kidneys but more recent studies have shown the body is not able to remove all of it. As it goes into the blood stream it will reach all parts of the body but it's most dangerous in the brain. There is no known short term damage but the long term damage is unknown. For example, if someone got dementia 15 years after having the test, it would be impossible to say that was the cause.

I've emailed the fertility clinic and asked if a standard MRI would give a good enough image but I'm pretty sure they'll say it won't. The reason they want to use the contrast dye is because they are looking for fluid, so they need to capture something moving. They need to see several images where the dye has moved place and that will prove there is fluid in my tubes. So I may have no choice but to do it, as it's my only chance of having a child.

That's great you've set a date, that will give you something to work towards! As you've managed to master the make-up bag pretty quickly, what product do you think you'll make next?

I'm finding it incredibly difficult to find a presentation box that will fit the guestbook, it's an odd size! So I may have to sell it without one and if they sell fast, then I'll look into getting some custom made. The next thing I'm going to make is a guestbook sign 😀.

I don't know if our area has any mean rules, they haven't made me aware of any... I did read the CCG guidance and I don't remember anything particularly shocking.

[unCliche]

No, I think it's better now to plan a new future without kids.

Does the contrast MRI really leave metal in your brain? Like is there a 100% chance that will happen? 😱 Omg what can that cause? I'm going to have to Google this 😱😱😱 But I'm sure nothing extreme will happen to you and I really hope your journey is as straightforward as can be. A year on and this is only the beginning for us... I hate it here.

I don't feel there's any point in me looking towards adoption or anything. Less risk of disappointment and I don't want my whole life to revolve around something I can't have.

That's awesome, you've got a good rise in temp so you've definitely ovulated! I'm going to quit taking temps and probably go back to using some form of contraception. The more I prevent a pregnancy that will never happen, the easier it will be for me to accept that we don't want kids.

I feel like I should build up stock and then launch the website or else it'll look very empty. I have a launch date of 1st October, which I think is enough time to practice making all the products and then make at least 5 of each one. I've also started looking at packaging. I'll need boxes and tissue paper, then I'll print my own stickers using my cutting machine. Have you thought about how you'd package your guestbooks?

Your Etsy shop will definitely pick up with the guestbook. Your design is gorgeous and I'd 100% buy it 😍 How much do you think you'd sell it for? Maybe I'll buy something off you and leave you a review!!

Haha he's a decorator just like Float! Float loves to push things around too 😂 I think you'll have to wait and see but I think once they've established a hierarchy, they'll be fine.

Yes, I think it's horrible that you'd have to wait another 2 years after a miscarriage. Does your area have any mean rules like that?

[ButterscotchBabe]

Aww don't be down ☹️, if it doesn't work naturally, IVF will! You've potentially got another year on this journey, I know you can be strong! You'll need that positive energy to get you through!

I was feeling pretty glum this morning and just thinking about how unfair this all is. I was saying to DP, I could have this contrast MRI (which leaves metal in your brain), then have the laparoscopy (risk of rupturing my bowel) and go through IVF, to find my eggs are all duff from the peritonitis. That would be heartbreaking but then my only options would be donor eggs (aslong as my womb isn't f*cked) or finally adoption.

To help me cope through this process, I have come to accept that adoption may be the only option of having a child. It will be an absolute last resort but at least it's something, I know my life won't be childless forever.

I know it's very difficult but if you can allow yourself to accept the worse possible outcome (adoption), then it makes going through the fertility process easier. That way you guarantee yourself a baby one way or another. I'm confident you won't need to adopt but if in your mind, you can accept the possibility that might happen, it will help keep you sane!

Temp is on the rise so pretty sure ovulation happened yesterday. If FF doesn't pick it up in a couple of days, I'll have to manually set it.

Yay that's exciting with the make-up bag! Will you add the bag to your website for people to buy? Or will you wait until you've got a few products? Do you know how you'll package the bag for posting? I've had no orders since I stopped the ads and I'm a bit gutted no-one left me a review. I'll turn ads back on when I'm ready to sell the guestbook.

It doesn't matter where I put Wispa's litter tray, he moves it around the hutch with his head! Teddy also moves his litter trays but he still manages to use them. I think Teddy is dominant because it's mostly him humping Wispa. Wispa used to tolerate this but doesn't anymore. I'm unsure how they'll get on in the future 😕.

😂😂 Float is determined to find something he's not allowed to chew! Mine are similar, they have plenty of wood sticks and wood tunnels but they insist on chewing other things!

That's great you'll be doing an FSH test on the right day, I think your result will be fine, as your AMH level was great. Ah it must be the HyCosy as the HSG uses x-ray not ultrasound. So in 4 months time you could be offered IVF!! If you do get pregnant in the meantime, don't tell anyone (fertility clinic, GP), get a scan done privately and if everythings okay at 12 weeks then tell the NHS. That way if you had a miscarriage they would be none the wiser. That's really cruel to make people wait another 2 years after having a miscarriage.

Haha yeh I guess we've just got lots in common! 😊🥰

[unCliche]

Started spotting last night so I already knew what would happen to my temps today. I'm thinking about maybe stopping TTC indefinitely. It seems we can't have children so maybe it's better to just not bother anymore. We can just tell people we don't want kids and build a life around each other instead. I don't think IVF will work either so I'd rather we don't waste any emotional resources on it. Month 11 and cycle 13 - Yup, I think we're done.

Aww you're starting your LP while I'm just finishing mine. I suppose your temps must have started going up today?

Yeah, I'm definitely happy with the shape now! I made 7 makeup bags before I got to a point where I'm confident enough with what I'm doing. I've ordered the zippers and once they arrive, I can probably make my first product!! I need to buy a plain background so I can take professional looking photos against it. I wonder when I'll have my first sale! How's your etsy shop doing? Any orders since you stopped the ads?

Yes, cost is definitely a big factor and wrangling money out of people is such a stressful task. My MOH really had to push to get everything paid on time! Activities are nice though, you can have some good experiences and create long lasting memories.

Rabbits are really strange! Because with cats, they hate having their pooping area near where they eat, as does every single other mammal, I'm sure! Have you let them choose where they poop? Maybe Wispa doesn't like the corner you chose? If he's set on a specific corner, move his litter tray there.

Hmm I'm trying to gauge who the dominant rabbit might be! If Wispa is requesting grooming, then he might be! But seems like Teddy is having none of it 😂

Float is having the time of his life! He started biting/ripping out the fabric of my suitcase, which is stored under the bed in the guest room, so I've banned him from that room now but he always wants to go inside. So destructive!

I'll need to do an STD check. It was meant to be this Friday, but since AF will be here, I'm not sure a bloody swab will be useful. I'll also be doing a FSH test on the correct day this time! She was happy with DH's SA, said everything looked normal - she said they only cared about count and motility. She also said depending on DH's NHS status we may be eligible for IVF after 2 years of TTC (we're currently at 1 year 8 months 😉 ). But if we get pregnant and have a miscarriage, then we'd have to wait 2 years again to be eligible! She called it a tubal check - I'm not sure if it's a HSG or HyCoSy but it will be done with an ultrasound. She said after the procedure, they'll give us 3 - 4 months to continue trying as the procedure helps some people get pregnant. Maybe we'll just wait until after the HSG to continue TTC. I don't really want to bother, knowing everything I try won't work.

It's so funny how we have separate convos on here and on WhatsApp. I don't think I'd be able to talk to one person about so much even if I tried but we seem to always have loads to say! 😂