Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Unflip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Unflip

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

1 2 3

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Conception

Unsure of babys father

64 replies

Chojame123 · 29/03/2019 05:28

I'm in desperate need for help and I have no one else to talk to.
I am currently 13 weeks and 2 days (ultrasound scan) or 12 weeks 2 day (gestational date). I've been told my due date is 02.10.19 the 1st day of my last period was 02.01.19 but I bleed for a shorter amount of days than usual.

I had sex with my partner 25.12.18 before last period then stupidly with another guy on 08.01.19 (I know)) please dont judge me).

I've had sex with my partner on 09.01.19 and everyday after that until the middle of the following week.

I've looked online with dates etc and what some people have said but it always keeps changing that it could be my partners or the other guy.bi really want it to be my partners so anything before 08.01.19 is preferable or after 12.01.19.

Please is anyone able to help I'd like to know this before it gets too late

OP posts:

Report

YolandaVerranda · 29/03/2019 10:01

Sweetheart the only way is a DNA test. Even if you have a 28 day cycle you might not ovulate exactly at 14 days.

Sperm can live inside your body for 5 days and due to the closeness of sleeping with the two men (no judgements here) it is too close a call.

What do you want for yourself and this baby going forward? As this was unplanned do you want to go through with this pregnancy? Do you want to give the baby up for adoption? Do you want to raise the baby yourself knowing that the father could be violent and have anger management issues? The baby could be used as an way to hurt you by the father.

How old are you? This isn't your only chance ever to have a baby unless you are in your 40s.

You also did a name change fail, your OP is a different name.

kaytee87 · 29/03/2019 09:49

But as we've all said it's impossible to tell as you had sex with the other man within a day of your partner. No scan is going to be accurate enough to tell.

kaytee87 · 29/03/2019 09:48

Oh alright. So dont believe the ultrasound scan... trust the gestational date?

What do you mean by gestational date? Your due date is roughly 38 weeks after you conceived. The scan will be as accurate as anything else.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 29/03/2019 09:30

I wouldn't trust either as an absolute on this example. The child's health needs to be paramount. This means ensuring that you know who's genetic material and potential health issues are being passed on.
There is doubt so a DNA test is a must.

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 09:23

Oh alright. So dont believe the ultrasound scan... trust the gestational date?

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 08:52

My only option is DNA after birth

Contraceptionismyfriend · 29/03/2019 08:51

You need to tell your partner and get a DNA test for the sale of the baby.

My due date is not spot on. I know because the day that the sonographer gave me as my date of conception my husband was away for a few days.

L0kiWh0 · 29/03/2019 08:44

There is no way you got pregnant in December if you’re due in October.

There are 20 million to 100 million sperm in each ejaculation. It could be either mans baby. None of us can guess. Your dates of intercourse are too close together and both in your fertile week.

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 08:27

Oh no really why??

Even if it came pouring out???

why1stheRumgon3 · 29/03/2019 08:25

Not what you want to hear but I thought foreign sperm would be more likely to get you pregnant, meaning not your partner. Could be either though. I hope it works out in your favour.

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 08:23

Oh ok probably.... it's just that's the 1st time it's happened that I've noticed it if that makes any sense...Yes we have both been tested and neither of us have anything

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 08:21

I could but it would be a tricky one... he would be pissed if he found out. But it would honestly put my mind at ease

kaytee87 · 29/03/2019 08:19

I was told (please excuse the graphicness) that the more sperm(cum) that comes out of you the stronger chance you have of being pregnant is this true?? Because the other guy his (cum) came pouring out straight away.

Sounds like rubbish to me.

You probably had a bug at Christmas time, wouldn't read anything into that.
Around your fertile time you can get extra discharge, this can be in the days leading upto ovulation and can last several days.

Have you had an sti check?

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 08:19

I know and please believe I have thought about it booked 2 abortions especially after the last incident but I couldnt go through with it... so.ething about ending another life I just couldnt... I was so hysterical shaking crying all over the place

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 08:17

We both take regular test and have done so after the cheating on both sides... he had been doing so too.. and everything was fine negative I know I have to tell him and I will but I just dont want it to be I cheated and the baby isnt yours situation

cupoftea84 · 29/03/2019 08:17

I know someone that had a dna test done by way of a blood test and a sample of one of the possible dads dna when she was pregnant. Don't know how much it cost her and might have been from abroad as I didn't know it was legal without the man knowing but apparently it was done.
Maybe something for you to look into, I assume you could get a sample of your partners dna. Have a think though how he would feel if he found out before you do it but that's a matter for you.

kaytee87 · 29/03/2019 08:16

If he's been violent to you then in all honesty the best thing to do would be to have an abortion and get as far away from him as you can. Otherwise your future will be miserable.
Only my opinion though, it's your body.

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 08:16

I was told (please excuse the graphicness) that the more sperm(cum) that comes out of you the stronger chance you have of being pregnant is this true?? Because the other guy his (cum) came pouring out straight away.

Also excuse this but feel like I have to get in detail if it helps.... after Christmas day.. boxing day I got very sick like throwing up and doing the number 2 (sorry) for about 2-3 days but passed it off as something I ate and I honest that my downstairs got extremely (sorry) wetter

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 08:13

I wont lie there is strong g gear there.. like I said my pregnancy and situation has not been pleasant and he does have anger issues which he is working on but he has been violent during and before pregnancy so I know this will just be.... mad

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 08:11

But I know how it will end regardless if its his or not and it wont be good

TwittleBee · 29/03/2019 08:11

I am so sorry that you are going through this btw, bloomin tricky situation. No advice on how to handle it either. It really could be either.

Jame1234 · 29/03/2019 08:11

No he doesn't I haven't even plucked the courage to say anything

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

lovinglifexo · 29/03/2019 08:11

you need to tell ur partner that’s youve cheated. You could be risking his health if you caught STDs from sleeping around.

You won’t know as the dates are so close together.

MyKingdomForBrie · 29/03/2019 08:10

It's more likely to be your dp in terms of probability - you slept with him more often so more chances to conceive. I think it might be best to be honest with him (unless you're in any way scared of him) otherwise you'll spend the whole pregnancy stressing.

MyKingdomForBrie · 29/03/2019 08:08

There's no way to work it out from the dates, sorry. Does your partner know you slept with the other guy?

Unflip

1 2 3

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.