TTC when partner has a very low sex drive!!

[BobsyBoo]

Hi all,

Is anyone else trying to conceive but their partner doesn't want to have sex?

We are on our 19th month of trying for DC #2 been managing to DTD a couple of times a month around the fertile time. For the last few cycles I've used OPK's so I know when I'm definitely ovulating. As much as OH says he wants another baby it's a struggle getting him to do what it takes! My peak fertile days are yesterday & today. We eventually managed to DTD yesterday, but he had earlier dropped the hint of how tired he was.

This evening I'm waiting in bed for him to come up so we can DTD but he's watching tv at the moment! Really makes me feel great. I know it's probably not helped that I'm using OPK's & let him know when we need to DTD but what else can I do?! He said I'm putting him under so much pressure & it's all I ever think about.

I wish I could give up but I want this so much & we both always said we'd have two.

[tobysmum77]

So you need to tell him that you are under more pressure and his selfish, childish lack of support is making things worse.

[tobysmum77]

actually just one thing from reading the op. My dh cannot physically dtd two days running of ur trying for both peak days. Perhaps this is what he means (but is not articulating?) In the end we agreed that we would dtd every other day in high/ peak on cbfm up to the day after it dropped. That was enough!

[BobsyBoo]

We tried to have a talk but he's just not good at talking about stuff like that!

Well the idea was to DTD every other night mid-cycle but that hadn't happened so when OPK detected my LG Surge thought best do it that night & the following, but I'm not sure if that was right thing to do or not.

[tobysmum77]

in that case my previous Covent applies

[tobysmum77]

comment

[naty1]

Yes hopefully they will test your OH.
If his drive has decreased since conception of DC then its possibly a hormone anomoly.
Agree it is important for them to clear the pipes to get the best quality. Our clinic says sperm should be no older than 2 days old.
I think sperm live up to 5 days so i would be focussing on the time before you generally ovulate.

[BobsyBoo]

I've tried tobysmum but we ended up arguing he just can't seem to talk about stuff like that.

I don't think he had a high sex drive to start with naty1 but after I had DD he never went near me for over 2 years till we decided to try for #2. I don't know if seeing me give birth put him off. I did have a particularly bad time -I know it's not great for anyone.