fat girls ttc??

[acsr1987]

is there any other fat girlies out there who like me are classes as obease? i.e. a bmi of over 30, just wanted someone to relate to! NO SKINNY MINNIES PLEASE lol

[gollygosh123]

bump as was helpful !

[RebeccaMumsnet]

Hi all,

Thank you to all who reported this thread to us.
We have had a look and removed a few personal attacks.

Can we please remind folks of our Talk guidelines and can we also remind folks that Mumsnet is a forum for peer-to-peer advice and support - anyone can post on any thread with their opinions on differing subjects as long as they are respectful of others (sometimes very) different opinions.

[ilovepowerhoop]

I may be fat but still bloody exercise - you can be fat and fit and I dont recall draining many resources with my lardy arse! I am considered obese but go to around 5-6 exercise classes a week and can run after the kids perfectly well.

[gollygosh123]

' drains the NHS like a leech and spreads staff too thinly'

so do drinkers, druggies, smokers etc

[bugoven]

Hadn't visited this thread for a while but blimey.....
I am a little heavier than I ideally want to be TTC and this is a minimal worry on top of a variety of non-ideals which have made life stressful. As a result I have turned to mumsnet at times as a place to share experiences and support others who feel the same as me.
The reason I haven't posted earlier today is because I have been out dog walking (healthy choice) and supporting my sil who has serious health problems but is still desperate to be a mum.
I see things I disagree with or that I cannot empathise with on here all the time but it is my choice to contribute where I find it helpful or think I may be able to help others. This thread seems pretty negative.

Here's a positive.... I weighed myself this evening and have lost 6 lbs since making a conscious effort to walk more. I nearly cried with relief when I read the scales and realised my efforts were paying off. This last two years have been so hard!!

[Isabeller]

Waynetta what weight loss methods have you found most effective? What was the most effective psychological component?

Would you advise someone to stop smoking first or lose weight first?

[WaynettaSlobsLover]

Well instead of trying to ignore the pressure from health professionals and trying to have exclusive threads, maybe you should actually take some advice and stop berating anyone who doesn't agree with your choices. This is a big reason why HC workers dislike parts of their job..having to see same people day in day out who are too busy having a 'moan' rather than actively doing something about their health. It drains the NHS like a leech and spreads staff too thinly. That's worth considering but is a whole new thread that I'm not going to bother to start. Evening and goodnight.

[MN044]

Wow, I guess it's really not just a river in Egypt after all

[acsr1987]

its supposed to be abit of fun for fat lasses who want a moan and twist, we are under enough stress from "health professionals" as it is to lose weight AND ttc, so thank you for being so friendly with your advice, im no longer posting on here as hav started a new thread to give a bit more support to those ladies of the larger persuasion

[WaynettaSlobsLover]

Waitingtobeamummy As I've said now twice before, any previous advice was friendly and constructive. Due to the OP's over reaction, and also her provocative questions, it has turned into a debate. Mumsnet is not a private area for some and some may I remind you, so just because the OP put the nice "NO SKINNY MINNIE'S PLEASE" in her title, doesn't exclude anyone from joining a conversation.

[WaynettaSlobsLover]

"Waynetta what circumstances do you think are necessary to make it responsible to try and conceive?"

Well not being obese is one of them in case you hadn't already noticed. Someone with health problems through no fault of their own is different although obviously not ideal if no family support etc but I don't like these comparisons between those who have health problems and those who are in bad shape/health purely as a result of their lifestyle habits. It's all pretty much common sense if we take all the pussyfooting around out: not great TTC if you have the opportunity to get healthier for the benefit of you and your childs future.

[waitingtobeamummy]

I think the issue is waynetta that the person started this thread for herself and people like her to meet and chat. Not to debate whether it is the right thing it not. Everyone has their own opinions on obesity and ttc and I have viewed it from both sides, but this is the wrong place to discuss it.

[WaynettaSlobsLover]

OP you are entitled to whatever you want to do, but to let you know in advance HC professionals don't always take kindly to obese expectant mothers. It's wrong because nobody deserves unkind treatment, but consultants and particularly midwives aren't always private about their thoughts. I say this as a former HC professional myself. It's harder work caring for and monitoring an overweight person, and can take up very valuable time that could be spent equally on other patients. A lot of the time, high risk pregnancies in obese ladies have to be closely monitored and the delivery may be accompanied by other senior members of staff. It's something to consider IMO.

[Isabeller]

Waynetta what circumstances do you think are necessary to make it responsible to try and conceive?

[WaynettaSlobsLover]

Drwhofan sorry, who 'had a go' at the overweight ladies on here? More to the point, who said you or anyone else wouldn't be a good mother? All the advice on here has been constructive and friendly but unfortunately the OP and others have been aggressive in their reactions. If anyone's been had a go at, I think it's me strangely enough.

[WaynettaSlobsLover]

It's unacceptable that a person who questions the risks of TTC is shot down. It's almost like political correctness because it creeps around and makes excuses for the real issue. Getting up in the night constantly for a colicky newborn is exhausting, but even more so with extra weight and other health problems..having to heave yourself out of bed with tiredness and the result of obesity isn't something to take lightly. I know a guy who is overweight and suffers from sleep apnoea, he wears an oxygen mask to bed. This in itself could severely limit his ability to pick up on the cries of a baby should he and his partner decide to have one. Why isn't it reason enough to have that will to lose a bit of weight before TTC so you can enjoy and relax through pregnancy more and not suffer the effects of it? Babies become runaway toddlers and that's motivation to get prepared for running around a lot!

[DoctorWhoFan]

I think it's a real shame this thread has turned into a "let's have a go at the overweight ladies" thread, cos I was going to join as it seemed a nice idea.

However, I'm 45 AND overweight AND ttc my first because it took me so long to find a decent man. I also have bipolar disorder and suffer with fybromyalgia. Does this mean I'm incapable of being a good mother, and producing a healthy child? Neither my GP or psyciatrist think these things are a real problem. My only problem is that my poor eggs may be too old.

So to the doubters, I have medical professionals telling me there is no reason I shouldn't try for a child with my DP. Being overweight is the least of my worries!

[acsr1987]

im not targeting the 40+ ladies, as ive said everyone deserves the right to be a mother, but there is just as much risk to them ttc and not everyone can do something about their weight

[MN044]

I'm not entirely sure you're for real tbh. But the 40+ ladies can't do anything about their age.

[acsr1987]

i did answer you question, i think its perfectly reasonable to ttc when your fat if u can look after and love a baby no matter what... does a fat lass not deserve to be a mother just because she struggles with her weight

[acsr1987]

i am sorry but this is just a thread for ladies who are fat and what to have a bit of a moan and support... does any of the 40+ ladies get any of this? god us poor fat lasses eh? if its not bad enough we cant shop in river island

[WaynettaSlobsLover]

You didn't answer my question but I'll answer yours: I was a teen mum in a stable marriage so nothing wrong in that depending on circumstances. All the rest of your provocative questions are also based on circumstances too though aren't they? So that's my answer.

[MN044]

Nice. Fwiw, I wouldn't wish a high risk pregnancy on anyone. My last dc turned into a risky pregnancy when they thought I had a clot on my lung. The diagnostic process included x rays, being injected with radioactive stuff, and a daily shot in the bum. And it was all a false alarm. I am far far from perfect. But I do think it's worth considering the risks before shooting anyone down who dares to suggest being BMI 30+ and ttc may not be the best plan. I know how hard it is to lose weight, I';ve lsot mroe than 5 stone in the past. I wouldn't want to start pregnancy at a higher weight, the stress on my joints by the end was an absolute killer, pregnancy and the immediate aftermath are far far harder on the body than many modern women expect, we tend to downplay it massively. Getting into the best physical shape you can reasonably be expected to is only going to be to your benefit. But I await your no doubt charming comeback.

[gollygosh123]

fat ttc = wrong

covert drinker/smoker/drug taker ttc - fine - cant see ur issues

• judgemental oafs as normal

[acsr1987]

yes i do and ive already said why... now answer me do you think it responsible to ttc when
over 35?
teenager?
sensory impairment?
in a wheelchair?
someone being on benefits?
go on then answer that