Baby number 3?? nearly 39 and really worried about increased risk of genetic abnormalities

[catinhell]

please help me to weigh up the risks in a sensible way and to get a bit of perspective on this.

is it ridiculous to let fear of genetic abnormalities prevent us from trying for baby number 3?

i'm 39 in the summer and i find the statistics frightening.

[justhalfwaythere]

My first three in my late 20's and number 4 when I was 33. All conceived in first month possible so obviously I was very fertile.

Started trying for No 5 when I was approaching 40. Conceived 3 times and miscarried early each time. Then conceived immediately after 3rd m/c when I was 42 and she is now a gorgeous toddler and (even if I say so myself) exceptionally bright! Had the nuchal fold and blood tests but not amnio - which I regretted as always wondered...

Sad fact is that fertility does decrease and I count myself as very lucky being 44 (gulp) and having a toddler.

Surreal that today I was taking oldest out for driving lesson and coming back to change youngest's nappy!

[flyingspaghettimonster]

It isn't just maternal age that counts, the likelihood of genetic abnormalities increases for a number of different mutations with paternal age too. So an older couple have statistically higher chances of having problems. But - that doesn't mean people can't have healthy babies when older! it is just increased risks. If you want to know more about the potential risks, pm me - my husband can talk to you (he's a geneticist specialising in paternal age effect mutations).

Good luck :-)

[lucybrad]

I just wanted to say that I had DD1 my third child on 23rd december at the age of 39, and although it took me 8 months to get pregnant everything else was ok. I didnt have any of the tests except scans as I felt I wouldnt terminate for downs anyway.

[EsmeWeatherwax]

I worry about this too, also about declining fertility, am 39 in May, also thinking about ttc no. 3. Think its a pretty common worry! Have to say I would have tests, from the point of view of being prepared for any eventuality that cropped up, but then I am a wee bit of a control freak!

[harassedinherpants]

I have two much older ds's (21 & 20) and got preg straight away with them both. I really didn't expect the same with dd as I was 35 when we started trying, but the same!!

We started trying again last year and took 6 months and a treatment with my kinesiologist to get a bfp in Dec, but had a mmc in Jan. Got another bfp two weeks ago, but mc'd again last year. We're going to have another go, but you have to wonder don't you.....

[catinhell]

hi guys. my stats have always been very low, but dd1 and 2 were born when i was 29 and 31 yo respectively. got pregnant straight away with both, so may be in for a shock this time, as i think it'd be harder to conceive.

sorry if this is too much info.... but there's no delicate way. i seem to get thick white discharge most of the time now, (more and heavier than a couple of years ago) so i dont know if this is a sign of reduced fertility...

dh and i have a nearly 7yo dd and a 9yo dd. both are healthy, bright, sparky idividuals. we are blessed already. cant help thinking we may be pushing our luck TTC no. 3...

[harassedinherpants]

I'm 40 and trying for number 4.

I had dd at 36 and dh and decided then not to have the nuchal fold or any other tests done. Our reasoning for this is that we wouldn't terminate for Downs anyway so why stress over it. If there were any heart defects etc then we would have been told that when scanned anyway.

Overall I think the odds are pretty good, and that's the last thing that's worrying me tbh. It took me longer to get a bfp, but I've had two mc's in 3 months now and wonder if that's my age......

[wobblypig]

They are frightening.
I am also 39 this year and considering 3rd.
When I had my last baby my risk before scan was 1/300 for Downs aged 36 and I thought that was high but in fact 0.33% so 99.66% of not having Downs. If you were given those odds for anything else you wouold probably be pleased.
Corrected for scan it was 1/3990.
Even if you risk is as high as 1/20 it would still be very good odds for not havign Downs.

What stats have you been given?