Ideas for a friend in a difficult situation this Xmas

[Fayrazzled]

My lovely friend’s partner had a devastating diagnosis a couple of months and has been in hospital since and will be for the foreseeable future. He is making progress but life will not be the same for either of them again.

ive been trying to support my friend- texts, cards, little gifts in the post to cheer her up. It’s difficult because of my job, her visiting hours and out physical locations to see her often.

This Christmas is invisibly going to be hard. She won’t be on her own- she will have some close friend around her. She has said in passing to me that she’s not doing Xmas presents this year- totally understandable.

However, I’d like to do something for her that shows I’m thinking of her. I don’t want a plant, flowers, chocs etc as I’ve already done that. Any ideas for something thoughtful I could do? (Also don’t want her to feel bad that she has not bought me anything- but I totally don’t want or expect anything given the circumstances and don’t give to receive any how).

Please help!

[Fayrazzled]

Sorry for the typos. Wish I could edit.
she’ll have close family around her not friends.

[itsme7]

How about some vouchers for Cook so she can order some tasty frozen ready meals. Makes her life a bit easier and a bit of a treat she might not get herself. You sound like a lovely friend x

[Fayrazzled]

Thanks so much for replying with your suggestion. For most I would agree that Cook vouchers would be fab and I’d certainly appreciate them in the same situation because I’d be living on crisps and cheese but I think she finds solace in cooking at the end of the day. It gives her something to do of an evening.

[Newwardrobe]

Did she mean she doesn't want Christmas presents either, because I wouldn't want to buy her something if it'll make her feel bad.

[Starlightstarbright1]

Is she struggling financially a voucher like asda ? She could buy useful or practical or treat then ,

[Soproudoflionesses]

Would she fancy a nice lunch out with you - a little break for a couple of hours?

[Fayrazzled]

@Newwardrobe

Did she mean she doesn't want Christmas presents either, because I wouldn't want to buy her something if it'll make her feel bad.

There is a risk of this but I hope I can reassure her. Maybe say the gift is not a Christmas gift? I don’t like to think of her not getting any gifts or very few because her partner isn’t in a position to buy for her.

[Fayrazzled]

@Soproudoflionesses

Would she fancy a nice lunch out with you - a little break for a couple of hours?

That might be a nice idea- thank you.

[Fayrazzled]

@Starlightstarbright1

Is she struggling financially a voucher like asda ? She could buy useful or practical or treat then ,

Not struggling financially but thank you for the thought.

[Beautifulsunflowers]

A hamper of mini treats - if her partner is able too then maybe she could share them?

Warm cosy socks/scarf/gloves - always a winner!

find out if there’s a costa or similar at the hospital where he is and get her a gift card.

subscription to a magazine you think she would like

Voucher for a manicure

Hot mug

[cezannesapple]

Food hamper. If she likes cooking perhaps look for one with ingredients rather than ready to eat products.

[SkylightSkylight]

Would you be able to buy a book you know she'd like?

would she enjoy an adult colouring book & some felts/pencils?

im Uber crap at presents at the best of times, but without knowing her & her interests it's very difficult. Is she spending a lot of time sitting with her DH ? Or is her day to day life similar in structure as it was before his awful diagnosis.

I know it's trite, but just 'being there' is what counts. A card, a tiny gift, just to know you're being thought if is invaluable and you seem to have that well covered. Keep it up for as long as you're able, grand gestures aren't needed xx

[ButtonMoonLoon]

As a carer myself the best thing by far you could give her is your time.

You sound like such a wonderful friend, in fact from reading your post, your thoughtfulness brought me to tears!
You spending time with her, giving her your company, maybe taking her to see a show or funny panto or something might be a lovely break from the realities of life.
That’s what I would really appreciate.

[villagegirlatheart]

A simply cook one off box or subscription maybe?

[gogohmm]

If she's paying for parking, a handmade money pouch full of the change for the hospital car park would be useful but also personal, if you can embroider, a heart, with love, hugs type message would be nice. It's what I would want to receive.

When my dd was born we had to use a coin op laundry in the basement of our building - by best new baby gift was a bag of correct coins!

[4yearsandwaiting]

Is there a coffee shop in /near the hospital ? Could you get her a voucher so that she can treat herself on way in /out?
When dc was in hospital someone bought me a Costa voucher (which was in the entrance) it was great to get a coffee and 10 min peace from everything while family sat with dc.

[Fayrazzled]

Thanks so much everyone for your suggestions.

[Floralnomad]

I’d just take her out for a nice meal , that’s what I do with my oldest friend .

[InconvenientPeg]

I bought a graze subscription when someone I know was in hosp a lot with their child. It was like a delicious weekly reminder that I was thinking of them, and small enough not to end up piling up unused.

[VioletLemon]

What about either making up a lovely framed photo of her and her DH. Nice to see a little album of photo of the good times. You can edit etc online by taking a pic of photo and get different sizes made. Either that or what about a small basket of useful things rather than luxury items, things she probably doesn't have time for, a voucher for a cleaner or ironing service. I know it's boring sounding but when in the deep end practicality is appreciated.

[flapjackfairy]

I spend a lot of time in hosp.with a disabled child and one thing I would love would be a hamper of little treats. So things like warm socks and tasty snacks to eat plus a few magazines and a good book. Nice hand cream and toiletries etc As she will be spending lots of time sitting around a few thoughtful treats in a hamper or gift bag would be a good option imo.

[quicklybeendrivenmad]

I got my godmother this, so she could take it to the hospital to share with her husband, apparently it was delicious and you can choose one each month.

www.lottieshaws.co.uk/Three-month-treat-box-subscription/

[emmathedilemma]

Is there one of the big brand coffee shops at the hospital Eg Costa? You could get her a voucher for there if there is.