Oh Yes! Tis the Mumsnet Nativity Thread!

[FellowshipOfFestiveFellows]

Come on then, how would we have rocked the Nativity had Mary been a Mumsnetter?

[Mum2Luke]

'I think we'll have to make do with the stable Mary as A and E is chocca tonight, the local Travel lodge is fully booked with Roman soldiers and the pub doesn't allow children and babies'

'Mary, go on TripAdvisor and see if anyone else will take us in the Bethlehem area, just hope the midwife has a horse!! Have only a few shekels left to book online.

[JugglingWithPossibilities]

In Babies - My newborn son is wonderful. He sleeps so well even with all the visitors we've been having, and this strange bright star overhead. And he seems such a good baby. But I'm worried that he never cries, so am not really sure when to feed him. Has anyone else experienced this ? WWYD ?

[openerofjars]

In the babies section:

I was thinking of going with real nappies and swaddling bands, what do you reckon? I heard babies like to be swaddled but i also really like the look of gro-bags.

I'm not sure about this manger business though: I was going to co-sleep for a few weeks to get bf really established.

[Firsttimemum2012]

In Sleep - any sleeping tips for my newborn? He is frequently woken by lowing cattle - though he doesn't cry - but some tips on sleeping would be very useful.

[FfelicitysEyewateringBaubles]

Mary would be posting a rant about the wise men parking their camels in the Mother and Son of God donkey spaces.

[CelticPromise]

AIBU to think that the census should be done online in this day and age? I am nine months pregnant and in no fit state to ride a donkey. If I ring them and explain I'm due any day with the Saviour of the World do you think they'll let me off?

[RabidCarrot]

Baby Names: My SIL has stolen "my" name and called her son Jesus I have been saving that name, #really cross

[theancientmarinator]

In Relationships. Help me choose a lovely new baby gift on a budget. I was thinking of a cuddly toy but the shepherds brought a lamb, and the Wise Men totally blew all the competition out of the water with their Neal's Yard Newborn smellies and a HUGE money gift. What can I give him, poor as I am?

[theancientmarinator]

In Good Housekeeping. Advice needed re drafty windows. Frosty wind is making moan day and night in our barnyard-themed hotel. Any ideas?

[FellowshipOfFestiveFellows]

AIBU to think that the neighbours take the piss?

They live in a stable ffs. All this "my son is the son of God" rubbish, people turning up at all hours waking me up, and a bloody star above their house blinding all and sundry. I wouldn't mind but I've heard rumors that the her hubby isn't even the father

What a chav!

I wouldn't mind, but my ds is just as perfect and he hasn't got some bloody star.

[dementedma]

aargh, my pfb has touched that bloody lamb that the snotty nosed little boy with the drum brought in! Disease! Germs! I need antispetic wipes quickly

[SnowyBeardySantaman]

Some bastard's parked his chariot in the only p&c space at the inn and I can't see a carseat in it!

WIBU to put donkey shit on his reins?

[SledYuleCated]

In Christmas: 'What is this Christmas of which you speak?'

[RabidCarrot]

AIBU not to want to travel to my husbands place of birth just before my due date?

[celebmum]

If the 3wise men were women they'd have brought useful gifts.... Myrrh?! WTF?

[JugglingWithPossibilities]

AIBU to think that Bethlehem is the most un-friendly place in the world ?
I'm in labour FFS and no-one will even give us a room for the night
WWYD ?

[Allalonenow]

RobinsBaubleSparkles
I see what you mean RBS, I don't much like the sound of Baby Cheeses.
I would say it "Geezuu", I think that would be fine.

Actually, before we left Nazareth my DM was really having a mega strop just because I said I wouldn't be using Joachim after my DD. She was standing there T-rexing, to annoy me, so I was glad to get away TBH.

[RobinsBaubleSparkles]

Allalonenow I think that Jesus would be lovely but how is it pronounced?

Is it like Geezus or is it Hayzoo or what? I think children would struggle with Jesus and I think he would be in for a lifetime of being mistakenly called "Baby Cheeses", TBH.

[SPsFanjoIsSantasLittleHoHoHo]

AIBU to expect to give birth somewhere better than a stable?! My son's father created the world so you'd think he would build something suitable!

[beanandspud]

I know it's a bit early but does anyone know where I would find the ofsted ratings for 'Bethlehem Schools'? Not sure if my stable is in the catchment for the school I want.

[Allalonenow]

In Baby Names:
Help me name the Son of God!
Hubby and I are having a bit of a tussle over names for our pfb, so we need some help.
I like Emmanuel, but would he get bullied as it is a bit pretentious?
Jesus is nice, but maybe a bit meh, it's not a High Court Judge name really, though alright if you are going to deliver groceries for a living.

I've always liked John, but now a relative has used that.

[RealAleandOpenFires]

Mary on FB:- I opened my "Welcome pack" expecting nappies etc and what do I find...? two sodding glow-in-the-dark halos!.

[Flatasawitchestit]

The fact that Joseph made her ride in on a donkey, giving her saddle sore just before giving birth and what not would ring out cries of leave the bastard

[RobinsBaubleSparkles]

AIBU to not want so many visitors after I've given birth?
So far three wise men rocked up, on their camels and a truck load of shepherds have arrived with all of their sheep .

I'm fed up. The stable is full of animals and there just isn't enough room for us all. The Angels have turned up too and their singing is giving me a headache, my stitches are killing me and all I want to do is snuggle up with my newborn DS.

These shepherds are weird. They just stand there gawping at my baby - at least the wise dudes were kind enough to bring gifts!

[whattodoo]

Will someone switch off that blimmin' "little donkey" song, i'm trying to give birth here.