Christmas present - too expensive?

[Netguru]

I'm married for a second time. My first (replacement) wedding ring had a large diamond in it - I adored the ring but unfortunately, after 20 years, not the husband!

My husband now is an absolute sweetie. My wedding ring has a large sapphire in it which he joked when we bought it that he would replace with a diamond if/when he could. No chance - I adore it as it is.

He's coming into a large sum (just under 100k) in a week or so and wants to spend a little more in Christmas than normal. He's offered to spend up to 4k on a ring for me - and I've found one I like. He's going to buy the kids a couple of nicer than normal bits and himself a new desktop mac. Then save the rest/pay off some of the mortgage.

We are not short of money by any stretch of the imagination but I can't help but think 4k on a ring is a little extravagant. I have looked to find one I like for less but can't - and would feel one which was 'ok' would be a bigger waste of money.

He genuinely wants me to be happy. Can't help but think I should be happy with less. To be honest, if I didn't get a ring I genuinely wouldn't mind. But he's right, we can afford it.

Can't help but wonder what I should do. He wants to share a percentage of his good fortune which is lovely.

I know it's a nice dilemma to be in and we are very fortunate. My BF said I should find something nice that I wouldn't buy myself like a pair of jimmy choos for example, which would be equally frivolous but less expensive. Can't find any inspiration on that but still looking.

[Mrsjay]

oh let him buy you a ring if that is what he wants to do the money is spare he loves you he wants to buy you something sparkly do it I am

[Netguru]

It's not to replace my wedding ring. It is for my other hand.

I have REALLY looked for a cheaper ring I love. I have a very eclectic taste in jewellery and all my stuff is big and chunky - Byzantine if you know what that means.

Travel is a really good idea and I did suggest it. However it is what we spend our disposable income on at the moment anyway. We are booked to go to Antigua next week and Grenada next spring so whilst one option was just to pay for one of these already booked holidays, DH said better to have something to keep.

I do want the ring. It's just when DH says he would like to make me happy, I feel I am already happy and shouldn't need such a large amount of money on a ring. I suppose it makes me feel shallow.

[Netguru]

millie1 you just summed it for me. I am worried I would feel guilty.

[CalamityJones]

He wants to do it and you can easily afford it - I'd do it! My wedding and engagement rings are worth not quite that, but not far off. I absolutely adore them, and we could afford it, and they'll go to my daughter one day, so I see them as a kind of savings account (albeit a very pretty one)

[ScooseIsOnTheLoose]

Op you sound lovely if you want the ring have the ring! It is something you can keep forever and IMO an investment.

[Jbck]

My eternity ring was just under that amount and I love it, wear it everyday. Its insured separately but it was designed by us and handmade so I dont feel it could be replaced, that said I dont keep it in a drawer. Call it an eternity and enjoy it. Your DH wants you to pick something just for you which is a lovely gesture.
Post some sparkly pics if you go for it.

[DowntonTrout]

DH bought me replacement rings for our 10th wedding anniversary. The original ones had become uncomfortably tight.

I love my new rings (I say new, it was 10 years ago). We were very young when we married and had no money. I'm not trying to say there was no emotional attachment to the old ones, they are in a draw so I can pass them on to one of the DCs one day- if they want them. But there is just as much emotional attachment to my current ones.

Ok they weren't blessed in a wedding ceremony, but DH bought them because he wanted me to have something really lovely and they mean just as much because of that.

I have never felt that I can't wear them for fear of losing them. They are insured. It seems you are questioning the amount of money being spent on what seems like something frivolous and only you can decide about that. I won't say the value of the 3 rings I have (eternity, solitaire and diamond band) but its a significant amount of money. They are worth much more than their monetary value to me though.

[Fisharefriendsnotfood]

I wouldn't consider £4000 a lot to spend on a ring actually, not with the money her dh is receiving. Jewellery is an investment and everyone will always have different things they prioritise, such is life.

You like the ring, you can afford the ring, get it and enjoy it.

[Badgersnatch]

Have you got a link to the ring so we can have a nosy decide properly if it's worth it?

FWIW I'd take the ring and love being spoilt.

[Netguru]

iangallacher.com/gold-rings/dress-rings/round-brilliant-cut/rl45/

Does the link work?

[OliviaMumsnet]

HI there
WE have moved this to our christmas topic
Merry Christmas to you op, you lucky thing

[Mrsjay]

Oh no not the christmas topic i stay clear of it till at least december

[Mrsjay]

OMG it is beautiful and OP you live in my town

[SirBoobAlot]

I'd think it was an absurd waste of money, if I'm honest. You can get some truly beautiful items for a lot less than that. And really, would you feel comfortable walking around in ring that cost so much?

Buy a cheaper ring and do something meaningful with the rest of the money.

[Trills]

That link works. I don't like it very much.

[stinkinseamonkey]

I dont think it looks 4k, its not really what I was expecting. But OP it is worth 4k to you if you LOVE it, do you REALLY love it or do you just think its take or leave nice? if the latter then it is not worth it

[milkymocha]

I think that ring is massively overpriced tbh!
But if you like it then get it you only live once!

[BrandyAlexander]

I love jewellery so I would get the ring but I couldn't replace my wedding ring. My engagement ring cost approx £12k. I love it and it's more permanent than any holiday we have ever taken. It's insured when I am out of the house which is good because I am a ditz and have accidentally left it in a public place twice . You list it as a high value item on the household insurance (means more expensive premium though).

[nilbyname]

Hmmm...that to me is not an "investment" piece of jewellery. It looks to trendy and modern and will date. I

would go to a bespoke place, and get something designed.....

[glastocat]

4k for that?!

I can think of about a zillion things I would rather have, buts you can afford it and its your choice. This looks like a bit of a stealth brag to me though.

[Kinora]

If you like it, and can afford it, then buy it.

I'm not too keen on the ring you've chosen but then we're all not the same with our tastes.

I hate it when posters start going on about doing something more meaningful with the money or giving it to charity. What's wrong with being frivolous with money?

[Trills]

If you like it more than you would like anything else that £4k would buy you - get it.

If you like something else better, get that instead.

[Tuttutitlookslikerain]

I think it is all relative, TBH. Those of us, me who think it is daft to spend 4k on a ring probably couldn't afford it anyway!

DH spent 1k on a new wedding ring for me in the Summer, because we came into a bit of money, and my old wedding ring didn't fit any more. I was looking at the £350-£500 ones, but he pointed out the one he liked! I loved it, but thought he was mad. He literally dragged me into the jewellers to try it on. Anyway now I am so glad he bought it me. It does make me happy, superficial I know, but I never thought I would have anything so beautiful.

Do it Netguru. You will love it, and that ring is beautiful.

[SirBoobAlot]

"What's wrong with being frivolous with money?"

Seriously? We're not talking about a slightly too expensive bottle of wine, or a pair of fancy boots. £4k is being more than frivolous.

[Badgersnatch]

If I were you I'd go for platinum rather than white gold because the gold will go yellow with wear and you will have to have it re-plated.