Urgent HELP please DS is really frightened of going to sleep

[Yurtgirl]

I am stuck (being a lone parent doesnt help)

DS is 7 with aspergers

He has been upstairs since 8 moaning that he cant sleep

Now he is crying desperate tears, frightened to go to sleep cos of bad dreams
He is determined never to go to sleep again

What can I do?
He normally sleeps well-ish, frequently with the aid of melatonin (which he has already had this evening)

Ive got to go back to him cos I promised Id only be 2 mins

Back in a few if he will let me

[Yurtgirl]

Leonie - she is only 10 months, it will get better (think positive!)

Thankfully he went to sleep and stayed asleep till this morning 7:15

Re melatonin, I think that may be at least part of the cause of his horrid dreams - Im not sure whether to tell him that or not though - thought required on that I think

Thankyou so much for all your helpful thoughts and vibes

[Yurtgirl]

LeonieSoSleepy - How old is dd2? How on earth you you cope with her up 10X every night????

He has just come down now asking for more melatonin, hopefully he will give up now and go to sleep!

Thank gawd he isnt like this a lot

Thankyou soooo much everyone, you have really helped me not to feel alone

[MiniMarmite]

Hope it works Yurtgirl.

Something I'm planning to do for my DS is to make a bedtime book (either a scrapbook or on photobox if I'm feeling flush when I get round to it). Going to take pictures of him having dinner and then getting ready for bed, having cuddles, reading story etc and getting into bed with teddy, and put it all in a book.

No sleep difficulties with ds just yet but I'm sure the day will come! Thought it might be reassuring and fun to be able to read to him about his bedtime.

[PlumBumMum]

Sorry haven't read all your replies but about to log off and just wanted to say my ds sleeps with a CD on repeat all night long.

[Yurtgirl]

All wonderful ideas thanks again all - I shall print this thread out for future instances

Wigglybeezer - I am going to check out that book, it sounds fab

Having tried a variety of upstairs solutions I kept him downstairs this time and let him watch me play littermonkey tommorrow (which is a big deal because he isnt allowed on the internet atm)

Fingers crossed

[Debs75]

Sit with him and use what ever techniques you use for calming during the day.
Ignore bedtime, tell him he can stay up with you if he wants, take the pressure off a bit.
Choose something else to do to take his mind off it.

*If he is scared of falling asleep and you take that away then he should calm down ar least.

GOOD LUCK

[wigglybeezer]

There is a good book for kids called "What to do when you dread your Bed", a friend of mine has tired it and reckons it's good ( Ihave other books in the same series).
DS2 had trouble feeling safe enough to drop of to sleep for ages but solved the problem himself by trying out a freebie airline sleepmask, he reckons he doesn't get the glimpses of things out of the corner of his eye that used to freak him out (he interpreted them as monsters etc.). He therefore goes off to sleep with the light on but wearing a sleep mask...but it worked for him. I reckon you will have to get creative and give him a big choice of things to try... and maybe let him camp in your room in the meantime.

[MiniMarmite]

How about doing the drawing now Yurtgirl (since he is up anyway)? Would finishing with another drawing of bedroom as a positive/safe place help?

[fishie]

when do you go to bed? both together, some soothing music.

this is a time to get through, not worry about what it might mean in terms of precedent or cause.

[MinkyBorage]

no proper advice for you really, but these night lights are brilliant, my dds have them. They switch off after 45 mins and project stars all over the ceiling. I often go in to see dds in the night and the nightlight is on because they have turned them on when they have woken up.

[Yurtgirl]

Why did that post twice?

He is walking round the house trying to find somewhere to hide from the dream

[Yurtgirl]

Arrrgh - Ive told him that tommorrow we will draw/write all his angst down on a big bit of paper but...... although he thinks that is an ok idea.......

He is insisting that he wont go to sleep at all tonight

Crying, screaming and his legs are trembling

Genuine fear

HELP

[Yurtgirl]

Arrrgh - Ive told him that tommorrow we will draw/write all his angst down on a big bit of paper but...... although he thinks that is an ok idea.......

He is insisting that he wont go to sleep at all tonight

Crying, screaming and his legs are trembling

Genuine fear

HELP

[Yurtgirl]

Pants he is coming down the stairs again...........

[Yurtgirl]

15mins of Narnia on cassette tape and I think he is going to be ok, for now anyway

[Yurtgirl]

Yet more good ideas - thankyou all

I think that tomorrow I am going to give him a big bit of paper and get him to draw/write down all of his terrible thoughts/dreams/frustrations about school/other hassles - hopefully getting it all down on paper will help

I am that lavender and anti monster sprays will no longer do the trick with him!

[Jbck]

I give DD1, also 7 and a bit sensitive, a particular teddy that I have told to watch over her and not let any bad dreams come in her room.

I've also told her that she knows she's dreaming and she'd to tell the bad things in her dream to go away that she's knows they ar enot real and can't harm her. Both have managed to calm her enough to get to sleep.

If bad dreams do come we deal with them at the time and depending on severity, I let her in my bed or get up to sit on the ocuch for a while whatever works. I think removing him from his room for a little while might help.

could he even lie beside you whilst you're MNetting?

[Yurtgirl]

All ideas are good folks honestly

He says he has been having horrid dreams for ages but hasnt really expressed this until 9:50 this evening

He has been really unhappy at school for ages - hence the plan is that he is most probably not going back to school in september (home ed instead)