AIBU to put chilli on his fingers?

[Creamcrackered1]

Hi, my 5yr old is biting his nails really badly so much so that they are frequently swelling with infection and needing lancing. We have tried stop-and-grow, but he just nibbles through it and don't know what else to do. If it was just nail biting, I wouldn't mind, but they get so painful and infected that he sobs when he washes his hands. Someone suggested rubbing a chilli on them as a stronger deterrent... would that be unreasonable?! He is very shy, but has lots of friends and is very happy so don't think there is a big psychological issue to deal with.

[BennyTheBall]

I can only think a sadist suggested this to you.

Poor little thing - it's very bad. Could your gp help?

[SpaceDinosaur]

The person who suggested this was incredibly wrong. Chilli for behaviour correction is a recognised form of abuse.

Your poor poor boy's thumb.

The previous poster who suggested that he wear gloves? THAT is a good idea. Over the summer means that he won't have friends seeing every day at school.

It's not your idea, it's the doctor's instructions. The doctor is worried by the infections and the lancing and has instructed that he wears gloves to stop him biting.

Sticker chart to reward him every day. Gloves off with close supervision for the bathroom, bath time any touch screen.
Buy multiple pairs of gloves.
Be prepared for tears. Breaking such an obviously strong habit is going to be hard but he needs to for his health.
Explain infections, how if his thumb keeps on getting so so unwell then the skin will stop healing and may need to be cut off.

Be strong. Lots of praise and cuddles.

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

Not chilli on raw skin. That might work for healed health skin and nails, but imagine the pain of chilli onto that poor thumb in the photo.

Have you asked him why he likes to do it? And noted down when it's most likely to happen? Then thought of alternatives that fill the need in each occasion. Fiddle toy, cuddle toy or blankie, chew proof toys etc. anything to stop him doing damage to his poor fingers. Then wean him off the transitional habit.

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

And cotton gloves.

[bloodymaria]

dont be so stupid!

[DocMcFanjo]

I'm a GP and that finger looks absolutely horrendous. You need to get him some medical attention and try to find the underlying cause for this.

And tbh even if chilli on a totally healthy looking finger were a reasonable option for nail biting (which it isn't) it would take weeks of no biting for that finger to heal sufficiently to take it and for the skin not to be considered very damaged and vulnerable.

You shouldn't put ANYTHING on there until the skin is totally healed hence needing some medical/psychological input to sort this.

[alwaystimeforgin]

I hope this is not a serious post. Chilli?! WTF!!!

[titchy]

I'm sure chille will be fine as long as you shove some up your fanjo and into your own eyes first.

FFS

[BeverlyGoldberg]

I got chilli stuck under my wedding ring once and the pain was unreal - I'm an adult woman with a high pain threshold.

Don't ever do this to your child. The pain will be terrible and what if he rubs his eyes?

I really hope this isn't real.

[Maybebabybee]

I notice op seems to have tossed the grenade and run.

[Alibobbob]

Have you taken him to GP/walk in centre?

Buy a sensory chew toy - there are hundreds of designs.

[Houseconfusion]

I hope to goodness that this is a troll. I honestly don't think this post could really be written by someone.

[Creamcrackered1]

I wouldn't have put it on broken skin - i thought i could put gloves on until they healed and then maybe try it. I've never used chilli (cooking) as not keen on spicey food so didn't know it would affect other parts of his body. I don't even understand how it will - would it hurt when he peed because of him touching his penis or would it hurt to pee if he ingested some?! Either way, i get that there's more to it than a hot horrid taste in his mouth so won't be trying it. Thanks for taking time to comment - particularly those who didn't say i must be stupid (I'm actually not) and those who didn't suggest i was thinking of child abuse (!) I asked on here for a reason rather than just trying it blindly. Thanks for saving me from making a big cock up, but there was really no need to shame me for asking for advice. I expected better from this group! :) I'll probably get this thread removed.

[Houseconfusion]

Sorry but that an adult has no idea about what chilli feels like and posts a picture of very very sore and broken child fingers asking if she should put chilli on it - is all slightly out of the ordinary context and people are bound to be gob smacked.

Yes chilli on fingers,chilli in eyes if he touches them, chilli on his penis if he wees. It's mind boggling that an adult wouldn't know that chilli is chilli and it burns and stings.

Genuinely hope you can get to the bottom of what's causing your sons situation and I hope to goodness he recovers soon. But no, you can't really blame people for being shocked.

[KleineDracheKokosnuss]

DH once chopped some and then went to the loo without making sure it was all off his fingers. He's a strong man, and can tough out most things, but it was almost too much even for him.

Get proper medical attention and gloves.

[insan1tyscartching]

Your poor boy, have you taken him to a Doctor it looks really painful? To get some idea about what you are proposing I suggest you put some chilli on a tissue and use to wipe inside your nose or your bum hopefully. even without broken skin. you should get some idea of how painful it would be.

[Creamcrackered1]

This pic is the worst it's been and we did go to the gp who let it run it's course and had no suggestions other than to threaten him with a big needle if it happened again (not ideal!) He generally has 3 or 4 fingers with bulgy green edges at any one time. I suspected it might be a bit extreme as imagined it would be very hot on his mouth. I posted on here for advice as i don't use chilli and didn't know. The person who suggested it generally very sensible and said it had worked for her child (with none of the side effects you described) however, she must have just been lucky.

Given that there's no way I would have put it on a sore finger and obviously not when it was like the one pictured and that I sm gettging sick of being trolled for asking a question - I'm going to delete the thread. However, thanks Dinosaur and Alibobbob for good ideas - I'll give them a try. The rest of you - I'm glad you've never asked a stupid question in your life and that you are all true sanctimommies. I have never harmed my children and never will - if you can't be a bit more supportive to each other, why don't you just piss off. There's enough shaming going on without having it on here.

[AlpacaLypse]

Although you put this in Children's Health you mentioned AIBU in the title - I'm afraid it always brings out the worst of the keyboard warriors! Hope your son's fingers heal soon and you find a way to help him stop.

[Solasum]

On completely healed fingers, you could try aloe Vera juice (fresh from the plant) on the nails. It is horribly horribly bitter. I think you need a different GP though, I don't think they have done enough to help you

[Creamcrackered1]

Thanks Alpacalypse and Solasum! Is aloe vera definitely okay to use (before I ask another clanger!)?

[NeedACleverNN]

Aloe Vera should be ok but I would seek a doctor's advice first.

If you can't see a doctor this quick try your pharmacist.

Go to any chemist and ask the person at the till for a quick word with the pharmacist

[Footle]

Chili was used as a punishment for children where I lived in Africa long ago. Horrible atrocious idea. OP, don't kid yourself, your child has some serious anxiety issues if he's self-harming to that extent.

[snorepatrol]

I know this probably sounds stupid but would some sort of reward work, like if he lets his nails grow you will buy him a toy that he wants?

I know my sister was an awful nail biter (she still is I'm afraid) but when they (nails) were at their worst which was about on a par with your boys my mum would put plasters over all her fingers and tell her she would get a specific toy if she grew them.
She asked the teacher to keep the plasters on at school too but I don't know if they would these days.

It always worked temporarily until she was old enough to learn not to bite them to such an extent.

She still bites now, as does my husband and my son. It's a tough habit to break and there isn't always a route emotional cause most biters I know do it out of habit or boredom.

Ignore the flaming op if you have no idea what chilli is like when ingested and someone who you respect has suggested then you wouldn't know how horrible it would be.

I think you took the sensible option by asking others for further advice rather than just stick it on with the best intentions and hope for the best but in think some posters on here love being outaged.

I once got chilli in my eye and had to go to A&E for a eye rinse it took about 2000mls of saline washout to get my eye to stop stinging just to give you an idea how hot it is bit if you don't know then at least you asked.

[GiraffesAndButterflies]

OP, have you ever had lemon juice in a paper cut?
Chilli on sore or tender (let alone broken) skin is like that times a million.

And yes you can feel it on your eyes/on your genitals even if they're perfectly healthy. Buy some strong peppermint shower gel and try using that on your bits. That's not even remotely close to how excruciating chilli would be but it will give you a sense of why we're all so horrified.

Fair enough you've asked because you've no experience of chilli, but you didn't say that in your OP.

If you really want to know why everyone is so utterly appalled at the idea, chop up some chilli seeds and then rub your eyes

[Creamcrackered1]

Thanks for the more positive responses. I would have been clearer in my op, but didn't realise that I'm the only person without experience of chilli in my bits or my eyes ;)

He doesn't have a self harm issue, he's a very happy little boy who nibbles his nails when he's concentrating on things and they get infected. He didn't chew it into this state, the infection swelled it and then the skin peeled. I've tried rewards with no luck so will give gloves or plasters a go over the holidays and see how it goes. I was worried that the plasters would get soggy when he washed his hands and make the skin worse, so might try gloves first.

Now to find out how to delete post - don't usually post on here so didn't realise the negative response!

Thanks again for all constructive feedback and for info.